Its a beautiful life :o)

yeh dooriyaan...

2010-06-14T11:38:00.004+05:30

somehow whenever gets married in our firm, they are put on a project which essentially develops geographical dooriyan with spouse

4-5 instances i had seen...as a third person (when i was single)

now that i am double (actually i have put on a lot of weight....so even in the physical sense i have kind of doubled)....i have been put on a mumbai project....
(fyi...for the last 1 and a half odd years, i was in delhi and in ncr based projects for 1. year 3 months....

yeh saazish nahi to kya hai... :(

POTA

2010-06-07T16:52:00.003+05:30

what is POTA? no its not prevention of terrorism act...
its pulled out of thin air...
and in many cases, even pulled out of the ass

what do u pull out of thin air / the ass....

data my friends data

estimating the size of an industry for which there is no data available what so ever, nor has any scholarly person made any mention of it in any interview....
where do u get this information then....
think....
think...

(slap)..like bruce lee slaps a pupil who thinks too much in Enter the Dragon....n tells him...DONT THINK FEEEEEEEL

of course when something is pulled out of ur ass...u will FEEEEEL

right now i am in the process of searching for stuff to pull out...
once i find it....then i will FEEEEEEL :) :) :)

Wish i were an idiot

2010-02-22T13:43:00.002+05:30

Because i have been awestruck by 3 idiots.
What a wonderful movie. And i guess i liked it even more because of the central theme of the movie, which is follow ur heart and do wht u really want to.

the 3 idiots do that and they are successful....but much more importantly, they are happy

i guess i have also been part of a rat race since the very beginning.....it wasnt pressure exerted by family as such....guess it was a lot to do with my own expectations (probably that drew from my parents' expectations to a large extent...but papa and ma always gave me the liberty to choose what i want)....
so me...the 4th idiot is at a loss, coz i dont know what i want to do
i find so many things interesting...but like in the Indigo Manza ad, there is always something missing.....wonder wat

i guess that is why i admire laina (my fiance') so much....she took the plunge, quit a great job in a coveted company, and now is doing what she wants to do.....

now there are multiple alternatives to finding out what i want...one is jump into each thing i like...make my mistakes and move on to the next one.....
but the status quo of a good job makes me too prone to inertia....add to it the fact that i am not sure if i will like what i do even for a week......
other one is to wait and watch......which is wat i am doing right now
third one...which i guess i should start...is to continue with wat i am doing...while taking in bits and pieces of the other alternatives......
this is also one of the more difficult ones coz maintaining attention is a big problem....i have tried it multiple times with multiple things but it hasnt worked till now

but till i decide to start the third alternative...its still the 2nd alternative for me :)

posting again...

2010-02-01T17:48:00.001+05:30

in some time :) :) :)

Heights

2009-08-12T12:39:00.002+05:30

I am kinda scared of them (heights). Have heard people say u get this adrenalin rush when u fall (bungee etc) which gives u a high.
I went zipping (if u wanna know what that is, check out flyingfox.com) the other day with RG and a few of his friends. There we zips on a cable, from hill to hill. And it did give me an adrenalin rush (am assuming phatne ko adrenalin rush kehte hai)...
Did i enjoy the feeling...not really. I can say the whole experience was good, but dont particularly see myself getting exhilarated by the "adrenalin rush".
I prefer trekking, arduous treks, where i push my physical limits (without having to jump off the hill).

Navy Cut

2009-06-19T13:53:00.001+05:30

Its wat I turn to when life seems not so beautiful....

Ways

2009-06-15T14:11:00.002+05:30

What do u do when u dont want to be roped into some crappy work?

1. u get on to the phone
2. u go and take a walk (walk down a flight of stairs 14 floors)
3. convince ur digestive system to escort u to the loo :)

Have done all today

Chor Saale

2009-06-15T00:10:00.002+05:30

Mere shahar ke log

Ek bechare bike chalane wale ke bike saaf karne wala kapda bhi nahi chodte

2nd time it has been stolen....thieves bloody thieves

Lekin kuch bhi ho, am warming up to Delhi....gradually...but am warming up to it

Sorry Bhai

2009-06-07T18:27:00.003+05:30

I call myself an action movie buff. I guess I am to a large extent. I scan for action movies on the internet and download them. And then when i have my movie marathon weekends, most of them / all of them are usually action movies.

But there are just these few movies which i completely loved watching.
Just watched one such movie. Sorry Bhai.
Completely loved the movie. Chitrangada Singh is more pretty than any Bollywood heroine.

But what did I like most about the movie. I liked Boman Irani's character. Completely fell in love with it.
Why? That is exactly the kind of father I want to be to my children someday.

Boman...u rock.

Bachpan ki yaadein

2009-06-03T02:12:00.003+05:30

The other day, while walking around my apartments, there was this group of school going girls who were having their evening gossip and hanging out dose. While i passed by them, heard their conversation....Sheila ko maths mein 98 mila hai....nahi...usko 95 mila hai....meena ko 100 mila hai (names have been changed for the sake of confidentiality... :P)

was instantly transported back to my childhood and also to kandy's recent post on how we all strive for marks and ranks (i would have given the hyperlink to his post...but i guess he will give that when he comes to comment...i feel too lazy to do that right now)
in our childhood also, it used to be the struggle to get maximum marks, to be first or second in class, parents taking pride in telling mera beta 1st aaya hai....parent teacher meetings where the teacher would say aapka beta bahut bright hai....
or summer vacation...wherein u get holiday homework to write 10 essays....
and i, since the beginning was against the concept of holiday homework (now i know why i am so possessive about my weekends and about work life balance :) :)), finished writing all essays on the first saturday and sunday of the 2 month summer holiday....result, got among the lowest marks in the essays ... but that was one of the few times i had no regrets about getting low marks (yes i have always been a geek throughout school and college)

wow....simple banter between a group of kids can bring back so many memories (and also reference to a post which i have mentioned but not provided the hyperlink to....sorry kandy :P)

Incidental Hero

2009-05-18T20:41:00.002+05:30

Was riding my bike back home. It was just after 5. Was one of those days when I got to leave early.

There was a Tata Sumo riding in front of me. Suddenly it braked and turned to the side. I was watching right in the front and so I could manage to stop just before hitting the car.
From the side of my eye, I could see a small boy running along (away?) from a group of stray dogs.
When I braked and stopped, I saw that the boy was actually running away and shouting "bachao bachao", and the dogs were chasing him.
He came and hid behind me, and I stood there quite shocked and looking at the dogs.

But I guess a biker with a red round helmet and on a red bike was a scary sight for the dogs, so they stayed away.
In the meanwhile, the car driver, who was the actual hero, took some stones and shooed the dogs away.

The boy went his way, I went mine.
And the people around saw US (me and the car driver) save the small boy...

Pros and cons...

2009-05-16T22:19:00.003+05:30

Of the bike getting a flat tyre on a hot Delhi morning, 2.5 kms from the nearest tyre puncture repair shop, with u wearing full sleeves, and carrying ur lappie and loads of other stuff in a bag...

Cons: u have to push ur bike across 2.5 kms over delhi roads, with a lot of dust, and the road itself not helping u, rather welcoming u with potholes etc.
U are sweating like a pig by the time u reach the repair shop
there is another guy getting his car tyre repaired so u have to wait 30 mins in the sun
u r late for office

Pros: u r sweating like a pig, and since u missed exercise in the morning, u lose if not more, equal number of calories.
u feel good that u didnt faint by the time u reached the repair shop

Zindagi hai to mushkile hai

2009-05-12T17:49:00.002+05:30

When I was in the 6th standard, we had this exercise, wherein we had to write quotes on a piece of chart paper and put it up in the classroom, on the walls.
One quote had particularly caught my attention. It was "I cried because i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet".

I called up a good friend of mine, with whom over time the degree of "being in touch" has reduced to nil. So had called him up today.
He is going through so much in life right now. An ailing parent, health problems himself, no job, is away from home, relatives not helping out...the list goes on.
And he is still fighting. Against all odds...
Kudos to him...

You can read all motivational books and stuff, but the two greatest teachers in life are: people, and more importantly life itself...

Chinese humour

2009-05-07T19:50:00.002+05:30

Now i know why Chinese movies humour is so strange. There was this one movie wherein puking into the food and then someone eating it was great fun. Someone spitting into someone's food was fun.
I guess in Chinese movies sab chalta hai...in fact u need such stuff to make people laugh.

Was watching Travel and Living. And saw the latest hit in Taipei's set of eating joints. It's a toilet restaurant. Wherein u sit in WCs, rather than paper napkin u get toilet paper, and the dishes are named bloody piles, diarrhoea, AND you are served in a WC shaped bowl.
EEEEWWWWWW

If such a thing can be a hit, why cant someone puking into someone's food be humourous

Insight

2009-05-07T01:05:00.002+05:30

As i mentioned in the last post, the pretty girl had said you are great consultants since you do amazing work, while the so called best consultants are not, because they just get the projects on relationships.

Posting the last post actually got me thinking and recollecting a few things i have heard over my very short period in the consulting world.

Our clients and the industry generally accepts that my firm does amazing work. We work at all levels, not just the CXO level. It is one of our principles, which is working in a collaborative manner, and ensuring that whatever change we propose, it gets implemented.
As opposed to this, few of our competitors claim that we do only "strategic" work. When during our campus placements, we asked what does that mean...we were told they work only at CXO level.
Again, this is something i heard from the market too. The other consulting firm in question does a lot of well known "big picture" work, some amazing analysis and stuff. But then, since they work ONLY at the CXO level, the actual people implementing it are not in the loop.

But then, they still are the most well known and well reputed firm in the market. Why?
Because of the projects they do. And where do they get those projects from? From their reputation and their relationships.

And it is actually quite intuitive. If i have 2 people, one who is very diligent and detailed n stuff, and the other who is not so, but i am comfortable working with, i would rather work with the second isnt it? The same is true with relationships also. If you have one with someone, then why would u hazard taking a chance with someone new.

Hmmm...interesting point :)

That was my intellectual masturbation for the night. Time to sign off. Current bhi chala gaya hai :(
Good night.

Random Incidents - Part (i dunno which part :P)

2009-05-03T21:15:00.002+05:30

Person i met: So where do u work....
I work for a firm called
O wow...u r the best in ur field...i have heard so much about u....

Me: is that so...that is the first time i have heard that...i always thought is assumed to be the best
Person: that is true...but then they get their work thru relationships n stuff...not real work...u guys do real good work

Me: that is so kind of u...thanks

Realization: am not at all a social animal :( am actually pretty bad at meeting new people...especially people / kind of people i am not used to interacting with ....even kind of people i am used to inteacting with....

-------------------------------------------------

Am finally (possibly) getting into volunteering for a cause....dekhte hai kab tak

-------------------------------------------------

Song currently playing on tv...manzil na ho to kya kaam ki hai zindagi....
right now...desperately searching for purposes in life

and also searching for topics to blog on :)

Management lesson

2009-04-21T21:24:00.002+05:30

You can learn dozens of management lessons in class, but then u have to experience it to actually have an "aha" moment (as my dear lady love says...an "aha" moment)

And this moment was not one where I was managing....the only thing i manage is my time on weekends...and man do i make a lousy affair out of it :) out here i am talking about being managed

as opposed to popular perception....out of a management institute one does not become a manager...one just moves into a different form of organization, where he/she is still the lowest form of life (at least within the organization)

coming back to the point of management, so in my organization, we are practically the lowest forms of life....
so there is this initiative that a few of us wanted to, rather want to start...
now there is this manager who is managing this initiative
all the time, he was telling us, do this do that, the initiative should shape up this way, that way, these are things that should be part of it, this should be our objective n this not...n so on

n while this was happening we were getting pissed off, losing our interest...but in the process we could not longer relate to the initiative....yes that is exactly wat the problem was....it was no longer "our" initiative...it was "his" initiative...

finally one brave one among us wrote these concerns to the manager, in a very polite and yet articulate way....
n today, the manager changed his approach...rather i would say he had a change of heart :)
so now the initiative is shaping us as ALL of us would like it to....of course not wat everyone wants can be there....but its not a show where one person is giving orders n the others are sulkingly "apparently" following...

so that is the management lesson....
did any of u people ask "WHAT" is the management lesson...
well if u didnt get the moral of the story...i am no teacher to teach u :P read it again n grasp it...n if u still cant get it, gimme a call :P :P

adios

Scary night...

2009-01-17T23:24:00.002+05:30

I felt scared tonight....not the "recession chal raha hai...do mahine mein naukri rahe na rahe.." fear :) I know that even if i lose my job, the people i love will stand by me...my close friends would stand by me...that is all the strenght i need...
woh darr nahi...
the raw basic instinct fear....phatne wala fear

had dinner with a friend...here in dwarka itself...some 4 kms from my house...then i went to drop him home....it was VERY foggy...the worst fog i have experienced....
on my way back...lost my way....

imagine...visibility of less than 10 m, dark night....n as u drive....u have clouds of fog coming towards u....
u cant see the sides of the road....u cant see the lone person walking on the road unless he is right next to u.....n the fog reminds u of all the zee horror shows and ramsay movies u laughed at...

phat ke haath mein aa gayi thi

finally after roaming around for about 20-25 mins (for a 5 min ride), i reached home....
n decided to let AXN fear factor know of a possible dare they can have in their show :) :)

Feeling nostalgic...

2008-12-14T19:28:00.001+05:30

u can count on friends to make u laugh...n also to make u cry...

now i dont cry...generally...the last time i cried was when jetha (my uncle) expired....that was in 11th...or maybe 10th standard...

after that...there have been many occasions my eyes have been on the misty side...but tears fail to oblige me...
i would love to cry at these moments...i think its cathartic...n i dont think its feminine...crying is very naturall...

anyway...now relating misty eyes and friends....bhaskar (lugaai) is to blame for my latest misty eyes experience...

was reading his blog....he wrote (or was it copied...lugaai sach bol :P) this beautiful poem about 2 yrs at IIMA....
got me thinking of the amazing time I had there...n the time was amazing because of amazing friends like bhaskar, randolf, titto, patwari...

bhaskar's crazy dance...his playing madhushala during our DPs...his always being the dependable guy who can get u back to ur room once u r drunk...
titto's pj's or amazing sense of humour....his tharkiness...the eri sessions with him
randolf's seemingly carefree attitude but a sensitive and very caring and emotional person within...
patwari's fundas, the paper writing with him...the ISB trip...

i miss u guys...

My culinary exploits

2008-12-03T22:12:00.002+05:30

I am a living organism...
I need food to survive...
I live alone...
I dont like outside/tiffin food...
The idea of cooking appeals to me...

The above is a sequential deduction of the outcome...that i cook :)

Now many people would say...except the last two reasons....tiffin or outside food would suffice and be much more convenient for a bachelor living alone in Dwarka...

Now in Dwarka sector 19, outside food is not much of an option, and tiffin i just came to know about yesterday...
but the last reason is strong enough to negate these possibilities

So i cook...
now i cook once for 2 days....also keep supplies like cup noodles for days when i dont have time to cook...
but having said that...i have started cooking...

so what all do i make...rather try to make...and the results...
a. rice - half cooked
b. dal - too cooked
c. aloo palak - came out well, except that i didnt wash the palak properly, so it was a bit "sandy" :(
d. rajma - cooked n all fine, but added too much water n too late, so it was rajma AND water
e. gobi and baingan - made baingan kurma (south indian mix veggies where the veggies are kind of pasty....why...coz i boiled the gobi and cabbage too long
f. mixed veggies - comes out well :D
g. veggie pasta - really tasty and hot (this is not the ready to cook pasta...though pasta intrinsically is kind of ready to cook
h. maggie, soup, ready to cook pasta etc

am i missing something...dont think so...haan...omlette, burji...come out pretty well

in the next couple of weeks...will make chicken...also bisse beli bhaat, lemon rice

bahut maza aata hai khud khaana banake khaane mein ... also long term mein...baad mein khaana ke saath bartan kapde dhone padenge...to abhi se sahi :o)

having said that....its pretty enjoyable....checking out recipes online...n then trying to cook them
some good websites are: vahrevah.com, manjula's kitchen, recipedelight.com
and there are many others, i usually browse these

till the next post....adios

I Love(d) my watch...

2008-11-07T23:23:00.000+05:30

I have always loved my watch. Not because it's MY watch or that I have any sentimental value attached to it....ok....this was the watch which I wore during CAT 2005...but I dont love it because of that
I love my watch because it tells me the time. And I am kind of finicky about time and punctuality and stuff. In fact, after coming to Delhi, it has decreased a lot. Pehle to kaafi tha....once I was to meet a friend (11th or 12th std) at 5 at a bus stop. I usually reach appointment places 10-15 mins beforehand. So i reached there before time, waited. He wasnt there till 5:10 so I left. Next day he asks me, tu saale aaya kyu nahi....n mai bola...saale tu nahi aaya...mai 5:10 tak ruka tha...woh bola...mai to 5:15 ko aaya tha.... and the argument went on
So the moral of this anecdote is that i value punctuality a lot. I guess there lies the root to my wearing a watch at all possible times. Without a watch on my wrist i feel....uncomfortable.

Now you would have noticed that above I said Delhi has decreased my punctuality mania syndrome. Why do I say so? Because of public transport.
Now I am non vehicle owner Delhiite. Ok if u consider my bicycle to be a vehicle, then I would say, I am a non fuel driven vehicle owner Delhite. I just became a Delhiite a month back.
So I like in this place called Dwarka, where distances are huge. The nearest decent shopping place is about 4-5 kms from my house, and the only mode of transport is auto or man-pulled rickshaw, both of which I generally tend to avoid if i am travelling alone. So to avoid walking I bought a cycle......I am digressing...
So, I donot have a car/motorcycle. Hence I rely on public transport. In Dwarka, the only public transport is the Metro, but then that does not go where I need to go regulary...
abbey sandhas ki baat nahi kar raha hoon...sandhas mein metro lekar jaunga kya...bawla/bawli ho gaya/gayi hai ke...
My office, which is located in the heaven on earth Gurgaon...
Oh what a beautiful place Gurgaon is.....beautiful clouds of dust, roads covered with sand and dust, giving u a feel of being in the beach right when u r in the city, n amazing public transport system...where else can u see people in a city travelling on the roof of a bus...gives u the true feel of being in a village away from civilization....amazing roads with ample no. of potholes to ensure that there is water/slush to "clean" the tyres of moving vehicles....what more could one ask for
Ok...so my office is in Gurgaon...
Now....the only public transport system operating from my locality which is Dwarka to Gurgaon...is call center/other cabs, which pick up people on the way, take 10 rs and drop u in Gurgaon...a place called IFFCO chowk
Now....in the morning, I cycle to the metro station....3 odd kms...park my cycle there....wait for a cab and get into one which stops...n in one I can get into (getting into a cab is not as easy as it sounds...there are quite a few contenders for that coveted place in the cab...u have seen Hera Pheri have u....u open one door to enter....n the cab gets full by people entering from the other door...etc etc)...so the cab drops me at IFFCO chowk...from there I take a tempo to Sikandarpur....n then its a km long walk to my office...the ride in the tempo is quite healthy since all the joints of my body are exercised (read rattled) due to strange positions of sitting and due to the amazing roads of gurgaon...

Now...going in the morning is still fine...returning in the evening...i have to retrace the below mentioned route...however, just that now...the number of contenders for the cab have exponentially increased, and the no. of cabs has decreased.....
So in such a situation today, at some point of time...no...not at some point of time...at 8:26 PM by my watch, my watch broke while trying to enter/exit/stop...i dunno...a cab
I came to know that at around 9:02 by my mobile, since after getting down from the bus (today I didnt get a cab....got a bus finally....there are a few buses which ply late in the evening....u have to be lucky to find one)...i as a lover of my watch n a frequent checker of time....looked at my watch...n felt happy it was still 8:26...but then realized...the glass is missing...n also the seconds hand is not moving.....n that i had got down 1-2 odd km before my stop...

So my dear friends...this is how...my loved watch was hurt....and I am going to get it repaired tomorrow....till the next time....delhi/gurgaon's public transport manages to break it again....

Of Books, Friends n Colleagues

2008-10-09T21:57:00.002+05:30

Its been a while....but then...is baar pair zameen mein gade rahenge :)
chaddo....baad ki baad mein sochenge

since i last posted....lots has happened...let me just put down few of those lots

am getting into the reading mode again....as in not padhai...bole to novel shovel
apun ko bhi ekdum fiction wagera padne mein bahut masti aata hai

now...did i in my previous posts mention that i have tried many times to put on the reading habit...but everytime...most of the times...i picked up the wrong book
now...wat is the wrong book...its basically the book i dont like...or which i think i like...but i intrinsically dont like (some of u might be inclined to ask...intrinsically bole to kaha se...phephde se...ya gurde se....iska jawab hai...dil se...applause applause)
i like fiction...i like books with a lot of emotions n no flowery language...or frederick forsyth type books :D
so if i try to read bout india's economy, or a budding entrepreneur, obviously i will sleep off every now n then...sahi hai ki nahi

so over the last few days...i read...
a few short stories by rk laxman (read two stories...i guess they were "salt n dust" and "guru". I found guru a bit....i dunno wat word to use...i felt uncomfortable after reading that...maybe a bit angry...i dunno...just that it seemed to be an attempt at humour...when i found the story quite tragic to most of the characters....)

inscrutable americans (liked the first half...baad mein kaafi drag kiya hai)

mistress...by anita nair...(amazing book...though i dropped the flowery description of the navarassas of kathakali)

ishmael....by daniel quinn (didnt like it...the idea of a preaching gorilla was good..but it was too much gyan)

now..reading snow..by orhan pamuk...liking it till now....till now also liking his way of writing by painting the picture of scenario thru words....(dunno if i will like it for long though...it kind of lies on the border of too much description/flowery language)

apart from that....on the professional front...have realized if i am angry/disgusted/uninterested etc...it shows on my face....n worse...i dont try to make any attempt to hide it...it just shows i guess...
why am i saying this...isse aage aur public blog mein nahi likhunga

today i was talking to my manager....very nice guy...he is also new in the firm...
he was saying in consulting....one has to be really flexible with his/her personal life DUE to professional committments...
i disagreed....n i told him
he said...at least in the first few yrs
i again disagreed..n i told him why...
i beleive its a choice u make....at times...for me...personal committments will ALWAYS be more important....the people i love....they are the MOST important for me...

hmm...learning to drink in controlled way...the other day...a colleague...got drunk
i dont like people trying to pry out information from drunk people....

before i end....bout friends
have been in touch with my close friends from wimwi
bhaskar, nidhi, titto, randolf...
being in KL, telephone touch has been less...but then have been in touch
but then can already see....plans to keep meeting n all....fall apart...there was a get together in blore last weekend...i could not make it...since i was visiting my parents...
titto could not make it...

baaki....old friend like deka have totally disappeared...now even pings dont get replies...log busy ho jaate hai life mein
few friends i hadnt kept much in touch with...have been keeping in touch with them
i miss sam dadda ke funde....woh bhi gayab se ho gaye hai

ah....came to know of the marriage of a a once upon a time friend...called her...congratulated her...hung up the phone...thought i would pass a few sarcastic remarks of how happy i was to (not) receive her marriage invitation...but then let it be...kaiku shaadi ke din mood kharab karna kisi ka

i guess if u dont stay in touch....people just drift away...grow distant...
n why dont we keep in touch...maybe we just take people for granted....very wrong thing to do i must say....baad mein g***d lagti hai dosti ki...

on that piece of gyan....i sign off
will keep posting dost log....
abih ke liye
alvida

Am not doing justice...

2008-09-29T21:23:00.001+05:30

to this blog of mine...
so will take a decision soon...should i be around at all...
if i choose to be...then would write more often...
if not....then definitely will write a farewell post dosto...

adios

I am scared...

2008-08-11T20:02:00.004+05:30

of gays...
I guess the genesis of this fear lies in the experience in 11 or 12th standard, thanks to a bloody f****n homo armyman...wont get into the details but i fled from there and saved myself....

my engineering college was again in a place which was "famous" for men who wore mundus very high...many of them for a reason...they were happy...n GAY...
had a coupla encounters with "them", but thankfully was in a group or in safe premises...

and it happened again this saturday...
was in the gymn...there were 2 more people...so there were the 3 of us...then one of them finished his workout n left...
i was working out at one corner of the gymn...n the other "guy" was working out in the other corner...

suddenly he comes to me n says....u dont look like a native...
n starts conversation...i dont suspect anything...i too talk to him
he is saying he works in singapore...has been to india...got guys from there for an IT firm (now i doubt if he got guys for himself)...
then he suddenly says...u have a very beautiful face...u can be a model....

i found something wrong....the way he said it...the look on his face...the fact that he was trying to come close to me while speaking...

i thought...fine...now he has gone to the other end of the gymn....let me get back to working out...

he comes back...with a phone...n asks me for my contact no., in KL or in India...anywhere...he says he is goin to be back in KL in a week or so...so we could catch up for drinks...

now come on man...u dont even know me...have hardly met me...n u want to drink with me...at night...n get me drunk n do wat...
this was a big guy...pretty well built...
i said..i dont have a KL no., nor an india no.

guess he saw that i saw...so he went back to his corner...n then left in sometime...said...i am goin to the sawna...
i didnt even venture near the sauna....being half naked next to this "guy" wasnt a particularly enticing proposition...
as soon as he left...i too left...fearing he would come back...

damn...i am scared of gays...

Adventures of Anurag Dutta

2008-07-14T20:47:00.004+05:30

There was Don Quixote (hope i got the spelling right :D)...n then there was Anurag Dutta

This is bout just one adventure...but then the usual usage of adventure of a person is plural...hence i am also using plural...do u have a problem...jaake apni (*#$(#* (# * (i hardly use abuse nowadays :P)

Okie...so wat was the adventure that made a very busy management consultant leave his hectic daily schedule and come to bloggerville against all common sense

It was a visit...to where...to the ladies restroom :D

Now...2 points...this wasnt my first time in a ladies washroom...
n second point....i wasnt alone in the washroom :o)

A bit of history first....when did Anurag Dutta first visit a ladies washroom...
it was final yr of engineering....
drinking...drinking...drinking...
anurag dutta knocked out....total knocked out
in engineering...anurag dutta dont black out when drunk....anurag dutta puke
n anurag dutta dont know where he is....
so after drinking....friends feel hungry....so they take anurag dutta to another hotel...currently anurag dutta forget the name of the hotel
so anurag dutta feel like puking...but anurag dutta being anurag dutta...wont puke in the open as in wont make place dirty...so anurag dutta need to go to the washroom to puke
so anurag dutta get up...n walk towards wash room...friend follow (i guess)...anurag dutta wont take support...he himself go n enter washroom....n puke
friend tries hard to take him away...but anurag dutta say...jab tum log yaha se nikal rahe hoge...mujhe bol dena...mai aa jaunga...
friend scared....this is malluland...this is conservative hotel....n anurag dutta in ladies washroom....

thankfully anurag dutta n friends leave unscathed n reach hostel....

cut 2:
Anurag dutta is a consultant....
meeting goin on
as most consultants anurag dutta in client site....
now client has multiple buildings with multiple floors
anurag dutta's card has access to just 2 or 3 floors
meeting on a floor out of anurag dutta's access rights

but bladder knows no buildings...no boundaries...no access...no cards
so anurag dutta needs to go...
but anurag dutta cant find gentleman's loo
apparently it is in an area beyond a glass door...n out of access
anurag dutta wandering...
suddenly a helpful client employee sighted...
he says...i will help u....
there is another person...from another company...who is also wandering...looking for mukti

helpful client employee take both anurag dutta n other distressed individual (male) around...searching for gentleman's place...
apparently...helpful client employee also not from this floor/building...hence unaware of the layout
finally he says...u two go to the women's loo...i will keep guard outside

after a bit of convincing...(not much since nature is calling)....both anurag dutta n other distressed individual go in
anurag dutta finally sees the interiors of a women's washroom

but right now...the only thing on his mind is...i need to leave the washroom before the other guy
i dont want to be the last person left here...n caught...n then...who knows...is pardes mein kya saza milti hai aise apradh ke liye

hence anurag dutta tries his best to finish soon n leave...
but other guy beats anurag dutta to the exit....nature was calling anurag dutta from much before

anurag dutta is scared now...he cant "hear" the other person in the washroom....he hurries up to his best...n dashes to the exit...
thankfully...other person n helpful client employee still there waiting for anurag dutta

anurag dutta get second big releif of the day (first relief was when anurag dutta relieved himself in the ladies washroom)

The End

JAP...Just Another Post

2008-07-03T22:49:00.003+05:30

Its a beautiful life...
That is the name of my blog...in case u people didnt notice till now

Now what is the point of me starting a post with the same name as my blog? Now Indians are known to be an intelligent race, and since all of u n me am Indian, so we would also think on a similar frequency.
So wat u are thinking...n what i am implying is....my life...currently...is goin on great

1. my work is goin on good...as in the work is...(ok it seems to be...) wat i joined mba for...
as in my last post...i had written...the question...why mba...n i said...strategy...business problems...dealing with people....creating actual impact.....
i beleive the profession i am in...i am doing ALL of it...

2. i just dunked a 20 pack dunhill cig pack in the sink n threw it into the waste paper bin....
yes...i am trying to reduce to smoking....the reasons for the same...might appear later in the post....however...am very surprised...n happy with my will power....have reduced considerably

3. coming back to cigs....one of the reasons i smoked so much was...i didnt give a f***...kya jaata hai....cancer ho jayega....lungs sadh jayenge...mar jaunga...
but now i care....
i used to work out...run...thrive for a good physique....
but i never cared for my health....coz ...now this may sound filmy....i was living JUST for today...n in a way....NOT LVING for tomoro...
but today...i want to live for BOTH today...AND tomoro....coz tomoro...i am sure...is very beautiful

4. my friends seem to be doin well...as in one got engaged...one's brother got engaged n cleared his way for engagement...one got committed n is enroute to engagement....
professionally...chaddo yaar...sab khush hi honge
but one has to be happy in the heart to be really happy...right :o)

now i repeat my initial statement...its a beautiful life :o)

5. i like the life of a consultant.....till now that is :D
yesterday...dinner at the best chinese (proclaimed by the hotel's registration desk) restaurant in Kuala Lumpur
5 drinks of whiskey (had office today na..).....
1 jameson...irish whiskey....
1 singleton 12 yrs...single malt whiskey
1 jack daniels...bourbon whiskey
1 johnny walker black label...scotch
1 jimi something...again bourbon

n here...have had...chinese, vietnamese, italian, continental, spanish, etc etc cuisines....

but the best was dinner at mugen
why was that....hmmm....
btw...mugen is not in kuala lumpur.. :o)

good night guys...its 2:20 here...n have to wake up in the morning to go to the gymn...n then off to office...

btw...have lost 6 kgs since i joined consulting...have no idea how
when i left home...i was 70...
when i checked my weight in the gymn here in KL...i was 63 odd...

ab to bas abs ki fight hai :o)....

adios

The consultant diaries - Introduction

2008-06-21T11:03:00.002+05:30

Scene 1: IMS Bangalore Classes
Instructor asks class: What do u think is a consultant?
Class: blah blah blah blah

Instructor (some kandu guy with a goatee n an accented english)...which is conceited smile on his face...showing i am gonna tell u something u couldnt have ever thought of: A consultant, is a person, who is gonna take UR watch, and tell u the time .... (pause).....(pause)....(atal bihari vajpayee pause)....However, he is also gonna tell u, that u can use the watch as an alarm, as a stop clock, as..blah blah blah...

One student, like most of the others, sitting on the second bench, is quite interested, but by nightfall, loses interest :o)

Scene 2: IIM Interviews
Interviewer(s): So tell me, why do u want to do an MBA?
Interviewee: I beleive i will be better suited to solve business problems. Problems with need a strategic thinking, problems which involve dealing with people...blah blah blah blah

Scene 3: IIM Ahmedabad Finals Day 0 Consult Interviews
Interviewer: So why do u want to be a consultant
Interviewee: Oh, its strategy, its travelling, its people, its helping organizations, its variety, its seeing what u work on actually getting realized...blah blah blah blah (this answer was much more grammatically verbose but then the content was this...)

Scene 4: I am a consultant :o)

Its been just 2 weeks....actually 1 week...since the first week was training in Goa.
How has it been?
I will talk bout the project.
But first i need to tell u why, i think, i didnt like banking.
I didnt like the idea of slogging my ass off for money...
i didnt like the idea of working on formating ppts n excels
i didnt like the idea of working on raising debt or structuring deals, till i get my first heart attack n quit work
i didnt like the idea of working at te same place always
n so many things...which i myself havent been able to identify

in my first week, its been pretty cool...
on an average, around 11 to 12 hours of work a day....
n tht too i am getting up to speed, to not much load
but then, if u see just content wise, it has formatting xls, compiling xls n all that stuff
but i am loving it still
why....i have travelled thousands of miles in the first 2 weeks alone
why...i have been in client meetings right from day one of the project
why...i like the people whom i am working with
why...i like the idea of dining around at nice places n living in a 5 star hotel...n within all this lavishness, maintain my physique...(uska alag reason hai :D)
why...i like the very feeling that what i am doing is actually gonna make a significant impact

n add to that, next weekend i am flying back to india, business class :D

he he...acha hai :o)

Now i am convinced...

2008-06-18T20:17:00.002+05:30

that i dont like visiting places to see the beauty of it...as in architecture or tall towers etc etc

why.....have been staying in a hotel for 3 nights today....when the moment i open the shields of my curtain...i see the twin towers of Kuala Lumpur....lighting the night sky....
but i have opened the curtains just once...n that was coz my colleague opened them for me to see the view :o)

I guess i will stick to my idea of a holiday....a physically exhausting one....in the wilderness...like trekking....or hiking....or something else....

but then i am also quite open to a going to a sunny place .... with a lot of grass....
life mein kitna compromise karna padta hai :o(
:P

signing off now
gotto study...no work...no study....forget it...tum nahi samjhoge

adios

Me is back

2008-06-09T18:46:00.005+05:30

Hmm...so I am back. To kya hua...jaise hindi filmo mein kehte hai...kisi ke chale jaane se duniya nahi rukti babu moshai...hence my absence also hasnt made any difference. But the point is tht the absence is no more. Hence absence has been replaced by presence. Now presence makes a difference. Hence the absence of absence makes a difference. Hence absence makes a difference. So now u all see, that my absence made so much difference to blogsphere. Ok, stop sobbing dost log, now i am back and the absence is no more :D
He he. I am just pissed off that I wanted to chat with someone and the connection isnt working, just for gtalk :o( Anyway, now many of u will jump to conclusion with that wicked smile on ur faces....kaun hai batao batao...to this question my answer would be...teri bhais ki aankh

Anyway, so I have made the initial point I wanted to make, that I am back. Also the second one, that I am currently not in a "very" good mood. But am in an "ok" good mood :o)
Left home after 2 long months. One takeaway from home this time...probably would not die of boredom unless subjected to the very very very extreme form of it. 2 months at home with practically nothing to do, and i still survive. Not only survive, also stop my waist from swelling even after the repeated onslaughts of relative's invitations and Ma's wonderfully tasty dishes. So some achievement eh :o)
Then there was the regular dose of swimming, which was, i must accept, fun, but then not really enough to burn calories. Also, took up the teaching profession, mainly to get some dough for myself. Was totally broke at home, and jab se kamana shuru kiya hai, ghar se jebkharch ke liye paisa lena acha nahi lagta :o(
Neway, that was Guwahati, a nice city but not for me. So then I left Guwahati on 4th, went to another destination and then came to Gurgaon on 7th.
Gurgaon...i dont want to crib bout it...coz I myself sometimes say (but will accept that I didnt say it first in this world)...that if u crib about something, u keep hating that thing more n more. Neway, 7th ko I decided that I will travel from Gurgaon global business park...to dwarka 19th sector pocket 2 on public transport on my own...n i did...the to and fro journey took me (including around 2 hours spent with dad in dwarka) around 10 hours...so a total travel time of around 7 to 7.5 hours...of this....around 5 hours was spent walking...n the rest....asking people, on buses, on tum tum, on small private canters
the trip in the tum tum on the way back from kapas heda to gurgaon bus stand was good...i was sitting in the back of the tum tum...now do u understand...the back...as in i was on the ass of the tum tum...piche ek plank laga hota hai...uspar 4 log....adjust karke baithte hai....aur aap piche ke vehicles ko seedha aapki taraf aata hua dekh sakte hai...had never enjoyed this view of the traffic ever...so "novel" experience
btw...the word kapas heda bears significant significance...ask anyone....dwarka jaana hai...arre kapas heda jao...wahas se chale jaana...n 10 minutes later...i forget the name kapas heda...n i ask someone...bhaisahad...yeh kasepheda kaha hai...he looks at me in the typical jat style...with eyes saying a million bhanc***s per second, aisi koi jagah na hai yaha...
neway, i found n forgot my way many times that day...but thanks to that experience...today i told a delhi guy how to reach a place from gurgaon :D ha ha ha ha
btw...am going for n induction program to goa tomoro, will be back on saturday...n then off to malaysia for 3-4 months on sunday....so now u see...what one means by travelling "a lot" in consulting.... i guess its time to get duplicate sets of undies....will need them :o)

idle time...

2008-05-03T14:37:00.002+05:30

i had to write this...
today morning...zee news par...there is news that a 17 yr old boy does dushkarm (i guess that means homosexual assault) with a 8 yr old kid...
the studio presenter asks the reporter...aapko kya lagta hai iska kya kaaran ho sakta hai
first of all a very silly question to ask...the reporter is a girl
however...the reporter being a reporter n then the media being media n therefore having an opinion on the cause of everything she says...aajkal ki baccho ke paas koi zimmedaari nahi hai..itna khaali waqt hai ki yeh sab hota hai...
wat the hell???? if u have idle time then u become a homosexual maniac or wat? going by that argument , all the guys in my neighbourhood should have been repeatedly faced assaults by me (me, jiski waise hi homos se phatti hai, but mere paas idle time hai...hence i have the motive)

is desh ki media ka kya hoga?

short...very short sabattical

2008-04-11T18:56:00.002+05:30

i think i got the spelling of sabatical wrong
theek hai...chalta hai
as my last post says...mba is done...am at home now...life is good...just that it gets boring at times
dekhte hai...new developments in life life getting degree :o)

n most importantly f****d up internet at this place....so am taking a short sabatical from the blogworld...will be back soon...(i hope :o))

adios amigos n senoritas

So it ends...

2008-03-31T09:25:00.002+05:30

2 yrs. IIM Ahmedabad.
Just had my last drinking session...dont worry, am not high. In fact drank slowly, lesser and so am not at all high. Though i do have a headache due to not sleeping when I was feeling damn sleepy.

How were my 2 yrs here? Amazing.
Wat made it amazing? The people.

Was so damn lucky to have friends like Bhaskar, Randolf, Titto, Nidhi, Nisha...
Today while drinking (me, Randolf n Nidhi), was thinking, wat is it that made it click between us?

Was it the fact that all of us are in the league of extraordinary gentlemen? Well, then Titto, Nidhi n Nisha would have been out
No it wasnt that. It was something else. It was the fact that we had similar backgrounds and similar outlooks towards life.
Does it mean that people with different outlooks cant click? No.
But in a place like WIMWI, where even though u have so many people, there is little time to bond, similarities do help.

I feel proud to have friends like these. These are genuine people. Bhaskar or Titto or Randolf or any of the others, I beleive we havent really faked emotions amongst ourselves. Kisi ki g***d mein aag lagi hai to chehre par dikhta hai...dikhna bhi chahiye...

Another piece of bonding (for the guys in the gang) was the kind of girls we found attractive. Now attractiveness is of two types. One is qualitative, another is the "other" type :P
And we have a very similar attractiveness criteria for the other sex. Another point that shows similarities :D

I can chalk out numerous other reasons of why we all clicked.
I can chalk out so many things that I will miss about this place.
I can chalk out a hundred things that I wont be able to do once student life ends (I have no intentions of studying further)
I can chalk out a hundred things I can chalk out further

But the point is...today, on 1st of april, on april fool's day, my journey in this wonderful place with these wonderful people ends...
Its not that I wont be meeting these people again, or that i wont be coming to this place again...
But this phase of life as a student in the most coveted business school in the country is ending now...

Am I senti yet...I dunno...maybe...maybe not
I will know over the day...so let me wait...

Cold

2008-03-31T09:24:00.002+05:30

Am i a cold person? Am i a VERY cold person?
I dunno, but I guess at most times for most people I do come across as that.

Inside, I am sea of emotions. If I like someone, I would ignore that person's shortcomings and support that person come wat may. If I dislike a person, its very difficult for me to be objective bout that person. I have come a long way in being non judgemental but being objective is something I still have to work on.

But somehow, I feel "indifferent" to many supposingly "moving" situations, moments. I get my degree, everyone around is so so happy, I am also smiling n all, but then I dont feel the "joy" which the others seem to be feeling.
My friends leave the insti, they and the others seem so senti, but I dont feel...anything. I am being blunt, but right now I am not feeling anything.

An e-friend talks bout all kinds of life problems, and I cant even place them in my mind for a minute. A friend tells me another friend had a near death experience, and the incident registers in my mind for moment n then leaves. Its just not there anymore.

But I am also the same person, who would take pains of "making" cards for people he wants to gift a smile on their bdays. I am also the same person, who no matter how aloof he seems, would take some very very very hard decisions, seemingly unnecessary, n very painful, for the happiness of those people whom he loves the most.

Who am I? Dont worry, if u know me, u dont have to worry of how u would find me when me meet me on two different occasions. I would be quite similar on both, smiling, jovial etc. But wat lies beneath...
During one of our courses called ERI ie Explorations in Roles n Identity, one facilitator said, we should not wear any masks in our life because there comes a point, when the mask becomes us n we the masks, and one cant differentiate between the two...
Have i reached such a point...is it good or is it bad or is it just wat was meant to be...I dont know..

Adventure ride...

2008-03-28T07:49:00.004+05:30

Was a ten day vacation i was on. But am not really going to go into details. Why? I myself find travelogues very boring. Kisi aur ne apne vacation mein kya kiya, mai kya karu padh ke :o)

So this post is about one of those many days. This day, we spent only travelling. But it wasnt any usual travel. It was travel during Holi. It was travel in Uttaranchal n UP during Holi.

So we decided we will leave Rishikesh for Amritsar via Delhi on 22nd. Theek hai. As always, the morning schedule was pushed by an hour. I went for breakfast to a near by dhaba, n things seems peaceful.

Hum nikle phir. Went to the bus stop in Vikram. No. I didnt use wrong grammar. We went IN vikram. Vikram is a large shared bhatbhati ie auto. Beech mein kisi badtameez ladke ne paani maara tha auto mein...lekin nahi laga...kaise lagta...kisi ki majaal ki anurag dutta par bina unki ijazat ke rang daale

So we reached the bus stop. One bus was moving and shouting Dilli dilli...
Titto said, we are lucky. So we sat. Soon 3-4 more people came. Apne saath vikram mein ek cute firang bhi thi, who also wanted to go to dilli. Humne socha...ab dilli door nahi :o)

Do kanyaye aayi. The most horrendous sense of dressing. Aur bhasha bhi JAT types.

Neway, the driver wsnt moving. So we asked, chalo bhaiya. Sahabji said, wont move till we get 20 passengers. We reasoned with him, offering him to buy two tickets each...saala JAT dimaag...kept saying some crap.
Next we started playing the role of getting passengers to the bus. Asked a few people here n there, convinced a few sadhus to take that bus upto haridwar, stopped a passenger from leaving the bus terminal n going
lekin saala jat dimaag driver came up with all crappy reasons to not go.

Then we asked a nearby taxi. The two horrendously dressed females also came along. We got a taxi. Then suddenly one of us (not me) thought we will take a vikram. Would be cheaper. We moved towards a vikram. Suddenly the whole taxi union was there. They chased the vikram away. On our way back to the original taxi, a private vehicle turned up which offered a ride cheaper. We put our luggage there. N then it happened. SPLASH. kisi harami bacche ne upar se vaar kiya. As the others were getting inside, SPLASH again. Doosra vaar. Teesra vaar.

Now suddenly taxi union leader comes again n takes keys of the private vehicle owner. He tells us, he will get us another taxi, but we cant take this one. So he gets us another one. A smiling, drenched driver of an ambassabor.
As we shifted our luggage, we were assaulted by holi colours again n again, always from the top. Finally we managed to move to the new vehicle. Me n bubba were in the front. Titto, coke n the two girls at the back. Now, first taxi (initially jisse baat huyi) returns n blocks our vhicle and shouts, mai nahi jaane doonga, madar c**d, mai nahi jaane doonga
He is pacified (maybe) and we take patli gali

We are happy and releived. But should we be? Of course not. Abhi to roller coaster ride baaki thi.
Our dear taxi driver was happily drunk, very drunk.
When did we know this? While driving, we suddenly turns to me, and says, Aap log student hai, jawaan hai, zindagi mein kisi se darne ka nahi..
He gives us his undivided attention as he says this, of course he means it. But then isnt he supposed to be lookin at the road n driving? But how could he do that, he has to give us the gyaan.

Car swerves. We say, bhaiya aage dekho. He says, ghabrieye mat, mai 27 saal se chala raha hoon gaadi.
Now n then, temple comes, he closes eyes n bows n prays. But car shouldnt stop. The show must go on. Now n then, he lights a beedi, using both hands to light it, looking down at the flame. But car should not stop. Show must go on.
Next piece of gyaan.
Aap padhe likhe log hai, lekin mai anpadh, lekin jab kabhi ladaii hoti hai, anpadh hi jeet ta, kyunki hum pet phaad ke maans nikaal lete hai , ha ha ha ha
Car swerves some more.
Another piece of insight into driver's life...hum bhagwaan ko nahi maante, bas mata pita ki pooja karte hai....later in the ride there is a Shiv ki moorti...he bows n says out aloud...shiv ji hamare pita hai...we come to bridge over ganga...he folds hands and says...ganga hamari mata hai...

In between, the girls behind are having some conversation saying, woh baaki sabhi taxi wale to poore piye huye the
Our man says, ismein kya hai, mai bhi piya hua hoon and he pulls out a 3/4th empty country liquor bottle from near the accelerator, and says, subah se pi raha hoon, ha ha ha ha. And suddenly says, ab mujhe nasha aa raha hai...as he says this, car swerves and hits a cycle...pata nahi cycle ka kya hua
The way he was driving, bubba shouted, bhaiya dheere chalao, and he suddenly reduced speed to 20, only to go back to around 80 in no time. mere to gote mooh mein aa gaye the.

After some more time of g**nd phat ride, we reached haridwar. Took a bus. Another highly uncomfortable ride, but chalta hai. I am totally fine with discomfort. koi khaas farak nahi padta.

From delhi, train to amritsar n the trip went on.
But that morning was a TOTAAAAL adventure (in hindsight of course :o))

New Blog

2008-03-26T11:34:00.002+05:30

Thought I will make a new blog for my short stories :o)
Coz have plans of writing a few. A few of them now. A few of them later. A few from the past. A few from the present. And definitely a few in the future :o)

The new blog is : http://mittikerang.blogspot.com/

The name is Mitti ke rang. Do u remember the serial mitti ke rang? I loved it. And why i named my blog this?
Because this serial was also of short stories, it was one of my favs, n somehow like this serial, my stories also come out pretty sad :D

Right now, only 2 of my old stories are there. Will be writing a couple more over the next couple of days.
How do i know? Coz my stories are reflections of what I see, feel, observe in my life. So have observed, felt 2 stories during my vacation (will write bout it soon), n so will jot it down :o)

As of now, this post is an invitation to all to visit my new blog site :D

another drunk post...

2008-03-14T04:12:00.006+05:30

dont worry people...this is gonna end soon...is it (my blog my rulz disclaimers :D)

u know why...coz school (read b school) is gonna end soon...am i senti...i dunno
should i be...i get senti for a number of reasons...i donot get senti for many seemingly senti reasons

friends close to me leave college...i dont get senti
i sit on my system...i visit that one orkut profle....i get senti
someone tells me...u willl get a beautiful girl as a girlfriend....its make no difference...why...beauty is not what makes a difference....that person has to be as strong as the two previous ladies in my life...both of whom were epitomes of strenght....she has to be as engaging in conversation as those two ladies...she has to be as interesting as those two ladies...she has to be as effervescent yet them...yet as ....kya word hai yaar...pata nahi...opposite of effervescent....as them

one of my good friends asked me...why havent u been able to get over ur past...why do u still say u r TRYIN to get over it
its because of benchmarking...
that...I guess...is not the right word...but the fact remains the women in my life have been so strong...so independent...so different...that i havent been able to find equivalents
n when i say...time holds not heals...it...to a large extent means...to get in terms with ur past...u look for equivalents...if not betterments...
n beleive me....I dont know if i was lucky or was it something i deserved...but i HAVE NOT been able to find equivalents....

yaar sach bol raha hoon....such strong women....how...
sometimes i think....me n them...kaise....they showed me what women are....they taught me to respect women for their strength....they showed me women are no worse if not better than men....they made me see the other side of the society....they showed me what India is....both of them...one thru a book...one thru her work...they sensitized me about india....

i can go on n on...i dont want to
when someone tells me...anurag...u will get a great girl in ur life....2 things...wat does "get" a great girl mean....n second....would that person match up to what i have lost....or rather what i have experienced....
havent found anyone matching up to that yet...
n that is where the problem lies :o)....there is always a comparison involved...when u r dying of heartburn (that is the word they use isnt it)...u r dying of potential lung cancer due to cigarettes u smoke...u r lying of liver damage because of the volumes of rum u consume...

i know its time i ended this post...its running pretty long...but i dont want to....its coz i am writing something i am grappling with....i cant sleep at nights...i think of 13th of july 2007...friday the 13th...scary day...such a beautiful day...i think of my last few days in blore....n i cant sleep...i just shut my eyes...n wait...rather hope...sleep plz oblige me
saala woh gaandu jisko bhagwaan bulate hai woh bhi help nahi karta
i am not an aetheist...but i am not a beleiver too...i dunno what i am...right now i am just drunk

kya mazak hai yaar....i am listening to songs now...they are blaring on my ears....its a circle...people call me n i "choose" to respond or not...i mail that one person...who always chooses not to respond...why...because of a difference in opinion on how it should end...
i dunot understand her point of view...she does not beleive my stand...what is the end result...those extra cigs which reduce the life span by those extra mins...those extra pegs which reduce the sensitiveness that much

friends say...saala dont treat ur body as a machine...ghanta bhan chod....i live in the company of such talented women....but no one...matches...them....no one....its not a comparison in any way...its just that....wat i value most...is not there....so will i find it...i dunno
they are one of a kind....n i guess me being the arsehole i am...am one of a kind...so would a match exist...i dunno...very difficult....so not hoping...not thinking...just getting numb....ma ka bhos**a

ghanta saala....band karo...i dont even know why i started writing this post....band kar chutiye...band kar

anjuli wala tag...

2008-03-13T14:16:00.003+05:30

poocha gaya tha...ki write 7 random things bout urself

this is difficult...random ka kya matlab hai...

1. i am an ice cream rakshas. I have gone to a buffet dinner and finally the waiter had to come and tell me, sir, please, no more ice cream...or my manager will kill me

2. i cannot read...now dont take it literally...i am literate...its that I am a VERY bad reader. I have tried SO many times to get into the reading habit...but havent succeeded YET...maybe once i start living alone during my job, maybe then

3. i am good at judging emotions, but the point is not my own most of the times...in terms of my own emotions, i am kinda confused

4. i dont like college fests. why....i havent given it much thought. but i just dont like them.

5. kids...i am fine with them till they are looking chubby, smiling n all. but then moment they start being a nuisance, i want to take them to a khopcha...n de dana dan de dana dan

6. i can be really romantic, but, I THINK, in very subtle ways. like making a card on someone's bday...writing a letter as compared to an e-mail...i find it romantic :o) going forward, i might think of more things....but first have to find a reason to be romantic again :D

7. i am bad at keeping in touch...i would think of people, i would know i should stay in touch, but i am bad at doing it....need to improve

ufff....bahut sochna pada :o(

and as always, I DONOT pass along the tag :o)

i am drunk...

2008-03-10T05:19:00.002+05:30

n still i am posting....coz what i thought was...this is the right time to post
does it make sense...doesnt make sense to me....but i am still doing it ...so if it does not make sense to u...u can go f**k urself...n then try to make sense out of it...its my blog n i decide when to post

last few days....todally differnet...placemens happened...that day....6th of march....i was f***ed sideways....aundhe karke maari meri un compny walo ne...uar mai marwata raha...good thing i got an offer....at kearney...jaisi kearney waisi bharni...jaisei kearney waisi bharni....
nahi to i would have been devastated....
but i would hve resurfaced next day...
in fact one of the intervieweers asked me.....what if we dont mak u n offer....n i said...i will be sad...but i will recover by 9 in the evening...n i would have...neway got n offer

consultants bahut bade madar c**d hote hai...n i am gonnna be one of them....n i am gonna do the same madar c***di which i faced this yr...but woh bahut bade wale hote hai

i wanted to be a consultant....never got a shortlist in summers...did an i bnking summers....hated it.....now am a consultant....with one of the top 5 firms in the world....

today had a dorm daaru party...people gave me feedbck.....i am fighter...am i? i dont know....

just now called a dear friend of mine....why did i call her...why did i wake her up at this time of te night....it needs a lot of trust to kow the oter person wouldnt mind...n i knew that she wouldnt ...hopeshe didnt....bt m still wondering...why did i call her....

bloody...life ias to advance.....i have to advance....
bloody i donte even know i fam gonna rememger wha i typed in the monring.....but wanted to type it as it is....

am i gonna miss this place... dont know....vu i am g

p.s. This post was typed when i was drunk last night...so i am not changing anything n just posting as it is.... :o)

Clouds wala tag...

2008-02-27T16:09:00.002+05:30

The kid tagged me...samajh mein nahi aata log kya karenge mere baare mein jaan ke :D

anyway...likhna padega...jaise purane zamane mein ghar aaye mehmaan ko aadar karte the...suna hai waise hi tags ka bhi aadar karna chahiye

here it goes:

Life 10 yrs ago:
I was 15 (so now u people know my age :D)
So at 15 i was in 10th std. I was studious too. Also, this is was one very nice phase in my life because i had no crushes no infatuations nothing. Had come out of one by the end of 7th or early 8th std. And the next started in mid 11th std. So this was 3 yrs of pure bliss.

Life 5 yrs ago:
That would be when I was 20
So on the personal front, I would be breaking up with someone I thought i was in love but later realized it was a hurried infatuation. Add to it miscommunication n misunderstanding etc etc.
So that was that

On the professional front, was still a student in 3rd yr in engineering in Malluland. So that was nice. Hostel life IS THE BEST THING that can happen to anyone (personal opinion disclaimers :o))

Life 1 yr ago:
Actually I changed A LOT from after engineering to today. And a lot of change happened between the 5 yr n the 1 yr period.
However, in the last 1 yr ie 2nd yr at IIMA,
Went thru many ups n downs
On the personal front, i dont want to start again. one of my previous posts which was more of a drunk person's emotional outburst would testify that :D
on a professional front, took some bold decisions and risks. Gave up a coveted international investment banking offer. Before that went to hong kong for summer internship for 2 months. Heard "grunts" of pleasure from the room right next to me, while I sat n cursed myself for being in the wrong room at the wrong time :o)
Drank a lot, still am doing.
Tried to reduce smoking coz was looking at some long term goals/dreams. Once they broke, smoking has taken a new high...And so has my jogging :D
Lost 13 kgs in 2 months...now have gained 3 of those 13 again..but am in good shape right now :o)
The roots of my hair have been taking permanant leave over the last one yr :o)
And many other things...yaad bhi nahi aa raha

Life tomoro
No idea. Want to be a consultant. Will know if that clicks later next week when placements start. Baaki, on the personal front, no plans or expectations. If something happens it will. Not taking any proactive steps. But willl surely accept that have become pretty wary of relationships now :o)

5 snacks i enjoy
gajar ka halwa, bhel puri, paani puri....cant think of anything else...anything tasty i like it :D

5 locations i will run away to
no idea...no idea at all

5 bad habits i have
I smoke
I dont trust people easily
I am a BIG introvert whom people generally mistake to be an extrovert
I drink so much that i get blacked out...but the good thing is while i am in that state i am still in control of my actions...just that next morning i dont remember ANYTHING
I swear A LOT...a LOT...

5 things i love to do
Dream
Smoke
Work out
Watch movies
Sleep

5 things i will never wear
A sari
A frock
A salwar kameez
A mini skirt
A pink T shirt

5 biggest joys of my life
1. CAT
2. Love
3. Hostel Life
4. Friends
5. The biggest joy of all is my family...but i am one of those arseholes who takes the most imp people in his life (in this case my family) for granted...am trying to work towards not doing that

5 things i dont like
Hypocrisy
Liars
Show offs
People with made up accents
Girls who talk as if they are talking to a small puppy...the "cho chweet" kind

Something to achieve next yr
Get over it :o)

Something that impacted me last yr
The relationship

What i will miss about 2007
2nd yr @ IIMA

5 things i wanna do before i die
Get my dad a Tata Safari
Keep smoking (not sure of this though)
...cant think of anything else

And me being the person i am, i DONOT pass along the tag :o)

Random Incidents

2008-02-21T04:08:00.005+05:30

I told her, for your sake, I am willing to move to any part of the world...U wanna go to London, I will take a job in London. U wanna go to New York, I will take a job there...

*************************************************************************************

I will never be able to enjoy such a great time in my life. After marriage, I will never be able to have so much...

*************************************************************************************

Bhan c***, bas 2 aur hafte yaar...(sitting in LKP...morning 7:30 AM...4 guys...semi drunk...)...bhan c***, bas 2 aur hafte yaar...bas 2 aur hafte...

*************************************************************************************

A bunch of 42 guys and girls going out to meet the delegates of a company which has shortlisted them for an interview...and I am thinking...kya karenge yaar waha jaake...yahi college mein kar lete...

*************************************************************************************

Bataas u r an extrovert...u r always smiling...always so jolly...I smile again...my big toothy smile for which i am known well...n i remember what Paddy had said during ERI....we all wear our masks....

*************************************************************************************

Aur peeyo...aur peeyo...abhi to 3 hi peg hua hai...aur peeyo :D

*************************************************************************************

3:30 AM at night...feeling totally insomniac...feel a need to vent out feelings...get up...write out an e-mail...asking...why why...
feel better...go to sleep
wake up in the morning...smile...u know u wont get a reply anyway... :D
u brush, lock ur room, n walk to get a sutta

*************************************************************************************

u feel insecure about the way u look...
wat the f***...
u dont even know me n are passing judgements on what U THINK i feel...damn!

*************************************************************************************

valentine's day...12 pm...n he is missing...where is he...he is chatting...with whom...with her...who pinged...she did...but then he says aisa kuch nahi hai yaar...sab lasun lasun hai
the others believe him...after all he is also part of the league...n destiny is against the gentlemen in the league :D
so they laugh...shout out a few abuses among themselves...n discuss when they will drink next

*************************************************************************************

he loves her...but never gathered the courage to tell her...she gave him all the signs...did he understand...the others dont know...but he never told her...
finally she send him her marriage card...

*************************************************************************************

coffee is all over her...she has burnt herself...all of them are drunk...she says...I am dying...i am dying...n they are thinking of the omlette that just fell on the ground...

*************************************************************************************

He perfected the art of sleeping in class...but what went missing wat the poise or rather the art of not being caught...his head would wobble from one side to the other...or it would move down all the way to the table...n suddenly he would start snoring...

*************************************************************************************

D2/D1/D11 ka tempo high hai...D7 ko de do...chup chaap chup chaap :D

*************************************************************************************

lau*a lasun ho gaya...saala sab lasun lasun ho gaya...(in english...di*k become garlic...bloody everything become garlic garlic)

khao khao...aur khao...arre khao...

ma ki kirkiri...ma ki kirkiri...

*************************************************************************************

The above are random incidents over the last 2 yrs i have been here in IIMA...some in my life...some in lives of people close to me...i aint gonna say which ones are mine which ones are not...
but then these are wat make up my life....experiences...close friends...lost love...drunk nights...laughing out loud...sometimes out of happiness...sometimes out of helplessness

More of such incidents would come...they have to...its 2 yrs yaar...

Books wala tag

2008-02-16T16:44:00.003+05:30

I donot read books. Actually I have tried many times to get the reading habit, but somehow I find orkuting much more interesting that reading books. In orkutting, what do i do? Followup profiles (female ones) n check to see if there are snaps that r not locked :o)
Yes...that is the level of vellapanti that I have many a time. But I am not looking for comments on the first paragraph :P...
This post is about a tag arpz passed on to me...She wanted to see what an IIMA guy reads...chose the wrong person to form an opinion on this institute's reading habits :o(

But I will still write bout whatever little reading I have done...so please bear with me

Book that made u laugh

cant think of any yaar...maybe some joke book...haan but i did laugh out loud when i read jeevan ke 30 sach in a mail...

Book that made u cry

ALMOST cried reading Kite Runner...also Godan n Family Matters
but then tears dont oblige me generally...

Book that scared you
was scared after reading the Ram Rahim comics when i was a child

Book that disgusted u
a child called it...it wasnt the book...it was the content of the book...the book was about violence on a child...it was very very disturbing...yes disturbing is the right word

Book u loved in elementary school
yaad nahi hai

book u loved in middle school or hgh school
famous five books, nancy drew, hardy boys, three investigators etc etc

book u loved in college
frederick forsyth books :o) the best i liked was the one in which iraq mades a huge gun...forgot the name...kya naam tha...ruk...haaan...the fist of god

the book that changed ur identity
everybody loves a good drought...

fav science fiction book
i HATE science fiction...technology se phat ti hai meri...n i am a computer science engineer...who was among the top 5 in class...n who does not know how to format his computer :o(

fav fantasy
sharam nahi aati tum logo ko yeh sab padte huye...meri fantasies jaanke tum kya karoge...jao jaake kitaab padho

fav mystery
would be one of the three investigators books...dont remember in specific

fav biography
aaj tak nahi padha koi...tried reading mein kampf...thrice...never crossed the first 20 pages (now u see what i mean when i say i dont really read)

fav classic
bachpan mein woh photo wale kitabe milti thi...classics ki...wahi padhi hai maine...in that...i loved The last of the mohicans....kaafi action tha na usmein

fav romance book
have read 2 only...only u n love story by erich segal...of those two...i liked love story more...so that makes it my favourite :D

haan...n even though the categories are over...i will not end without saying that I loved the following three books (this can also be seen as an attempt to show that I have read at least a few books :D)
- Atlas Shrugged
- The other Ayn Rand book whose name i JUST NOW FORGOT...haan...fountainhead
- The Monk WHo Sold His Ferrari

Haan...aur suno...abhi yaad aa raha hai
- The Alchemist bhi :D

bas...ab ho gaya...n i am not really sure of how tagging works...do i need to pass along this tag...?

Why India?

2008-02-13T00:04:00.000+05:30

Now this is a very serious post. Can u sense the seriousness of the first statement itself.

This post is my response to whoever asks me, why dont u take a job abroad? why did u give up ur foreign job offer? kyu? why?

Here is why:

- When I wake up in the morning, I like walking up to the nearest chai ka thela n having a hot cup of chai (at least I do that here in IIMA)

- All my dreams, fantasies is about Indian girls. Indian women are the most beautiful in the world (in that assamese girls are the prettiest :D :D)

- I donot want to walk into a restaurant, ask the waiter/tress for the menu, stare at the various menu items for half n hour, donot understand shit about what the food items are, order something that seems palatable and i think its gonna be filling, n then sparkling white plate with a tiny centre occupied by some strangely cooked chicken, some cauliflower n a potato...n then chuck out 250 HongKong Dollars (250 * 5.5 Rs) for this crap (True story...though I was the one eating...pay kisi aur ne kiya :D)

- I love walking into cheap ice cream parlours and have 3,4,5 scoops of ice creams of diff flavours

- I love eating with my hands

- I love wiping my nose with the back of my arm when I am jogging n my nose is flowing...i dont have to care of what people think...coz on my way to the jogging park, i see 3 other people doing the same thing :o)

- i plan to own a bike as soon as i pass out. i dont wnt to be in a place where owning a bike is eqvt to being a hippy

- on a serious note, i want to parallelly contribute to the developmental sector through active work

- on MOST IMPORTANTLY, i cannot..n when i say i cnnot, i REAALLLLLY REALLLLY mean i CANNOT live without WASHING my arse with WATER after crapping...TOILET PAPER DOWN DOWN

A question of salted water

2008-02-12T05:34:00.000+05:30

They call it tears.
I have had a problem with this form of H20 since the very beginning. I wish i hadnt.

When they ought to come, they dont. And they sometimes come when they ought to. (please excuse me, its 5:40 in the morning n i am kinda drunk)

I screwed up an interview, i screwed up a job, one of my dream jobs, but I still dont feel the need to release my emotions in the form of tears.
But I have lost someone so dear, to I dont know whose fault it was, I do wish to cry out loud.
But these fucking tears would come out for a movie like taare zameen par but they wont oblige me when I think of her.

I send her a message, I send her a mail, I visit her orkut profile but I dont leave a scrap. Why should I? I would anyway not get a reply :o)
Have u seen Mera Naam Joker? How Raj Kapoor smiles when he is in pain?

My friends tell me...Bataas story bata yaar...I sometimes think Let me tell them wat happened...but what do I tell them...I will break down...Maybe I want to break down...Then why dont I tell them...Coz I am scared that I wont break down

Fuck...Like is complicated. N wat is even more complicated is emotions...feelings...coz they arent objective. There is no logic behind them. Logically thinking, she should not occupy even a millimetre of my mind or heart or whatever.
But logic does not rule here...

I am drunk...so i speak the truth...

In Company of Women :o)

2008-02-02T14:16:00.000+05:30

Anurag Dutta was standing. He was enjoying what was going on a few storeys below. At the back of his mind, was the Dahi Wada and the Butter Scotch ice cream in the mess. He loved the Friday mess food.

Suddenly a group of pretty young girls came running his way. He hardly noticed them. This was but bound to happen. They had dreamy eyes and were dying to get to him first. They surrounded him, fell over him. He didnt give them much attention. This was but bound to happen.

They had smiles on their faces. Soon more of them came. Anurag was getting a bit uneasy now since he was getting cramped for space. But how could he leave?

It was his place to watch the Dance show going on on the stage 2 storeys below. There was no nice place in the lawn so he had come up.
The girls were leaning over and around him to catch a good glimpse of the show going on below.
But Anurag Dutta wasnt complaining :o)

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

2008-01-24T15:09:00.001+05:30

I formed this League. This is the league of people who voluntarily and many a times involuntarily decided to remain single :o)
Now one must note that the voluntary enrollment was mostly an outcome of involuntary circumstances. For eg. In college, u like girl, and so does the rest of the college. Finally girl also like boy, but boy one among the rest of the college. Then wat u do...U enroll into league of extraordinary gentlemen and proclaim that u r not interested in girls.

One must at no point doubt the sexual orientation of this league. Every member is straight. Just that we live maharishis decided to let the rest of the world enjoy the fruits of love, n we pray for them (thoda zyada ho gaya but chalta hai :D)

We once had a huge membership but now with passing time, members are shying away from the guidelines of the league.
Recent escapades include long time loyal member Upmanyu Sharmah. He was the last commander i expected to lose. But he too fell in love :o)

We have in and out member Arnab Deka. Recent joinees also include Bhaskar S and Ramnish Gaikwad. However, I am suspicious about Mr. Gaikwad's dedication to the ideals of the group.

The primary ideal of the group is that one has to be a Randwa. Now the word as such sounds very impolite. But a great saint from the village of dead peepal explained the meaning of Randwa to me. A Randwa is basically a guy in love. But the speciality here is...he is not in love with anyone specific. So he is just in love with love or rather the concept of love or watever. But he is in love without anyone to love :o)

Now two of the very old members of the league.
Sam Dadda. I cannot doubt his loyalty at any point of time. He was one of the founding members of the league and we still have spirited discussions on the future of the league.

Debdeep Nath. ANother loyal commander. He did try to move out of the league. But his story goes like this...
Nath baba n another guy sharing a smoke outside the office. Suddenly pretty girl walks out. Nath baba feels he is in love with this girl for sometime now. So he confides in his ciggy buddy....sahi hai na yaar...mujhe bahut achi lagti hai ... Ciggy buddy says...haan..sahi hai...meri girlfriend hai woh. ...Nath baba's story ended there...
Since then I am pretty confident Nath baba has been in the league. THough he has tried to venture out, but some people are just meant to be there for the betterment of the other league members :o)

And finally me :o)
I too ventured out of the league and was foolish enough to think i wont have to return :o)
However, now am back. And would be around for sometime.
Like Upam says, have to find the right reason to quit this extraordinary league of Randwas :o)

Casteism...what casteism...?!

2008-01-19T20:17:00.000+05:30

I remember when I was in college ie NIT Calicut, I was having this conversation with a friend of mine in Guwahati. The topic moved to eligible bachelors etc etc. Then she mentioned, she will definitely marry an upper caste Hindu. These scheduled castes and scheduled tribes dont have any brains or merit...

My late grandmother used to tell me...Baba, kayasta e biya korbi de...beleg jaati r suwali nanibi (Son, marry within the Kayastha caste only, dont bring a girl from another caste)

I myself am not clean. I remember discussions I had with my friends on how someone I knew got through IIT JEE after attempting just 29 marks...just because he was an ST (Hills).

One of my friends here in WIMWI once told me...Bataas...tujhe pata hai xxxxx SC hai

I am against reservations in their current form and more importantly there form of implementation. Earlier I used to be against reservations in general, but over the past 3-4 yrs, I have come to beleive that there is a need for reservations. But its not reaching the right people.

But then this post is not about reservations. Its about something much more profound...something too far more heinous...casteism

Was shown this documentary in class today...on casteism...untouchability
People...learned people...supporting it...
There was this person who was on the cover of Time Magazine and was the Physics prof of some univ...he is openly supporting it
Then some of the Hindu "learned" gurus making statements like...
Shudra pair hai...brahmin sar...khastriya haath...ab pair ko chot lagegi to haath uski madat ke liye jayega hi na...(Shudras are like legs...brahmins are the head...kshatriyas are the hands...if the leg gets hurt the hands would definitely go to its help)
He also went on to say that...trying to get over the caste system is like asking one to walk on one's head

Then there were these Rajputs in some part of Rajastan...who openly proclaimed that they made sure that the lower caste people were "taught a lesson" whenever they defied the maryada of the society. An 80 yr old harijan would have to address a 10 yr old Rajput as master...else that old dalit would be "taught a lesson".
They...the upper caste people...said...Its important to maintain the fear in the hearts of the Dalits...else they forget their maryada.

And this is not just in Hindus. In Muslims, there are an equal number of castes and there is discrimination based on those. The upper caste Syeds, Pathans and Khans discriminate against the lower castes. Same for Sikhs. The Jats look down upon the Dalit sikhs like Mazhabi Sikhs.
In Christians, its the same.

We are branding people for something they have no say in. Was it that child's fault that he was born in a Dalit household?
In the faint hope of equality, so many of the Hindu dalits converted to Chirstianity and Islam. But even there, the dream of equality eludes them.

Every religion...has in its roots equality as one of the pillars...but with time...people "add" strata to the society which passes down generations and generations...
Manu, better known as "Maharishi" Manu came out with his set of "Laws" which have become Shastras for us Hindus. It was in these shastras that casteism found its first mention.
Here are few of his "Laws"

Let (the first part of) a Brahmana's name (denote something) auspicious, a Kshatriya's be connected with power, and a Vaisya's with wealth, but a Sudra's (express something) contemptible.

A Brahmana who takes a Sudra wife to his bed, will (after death) sink into hell; if he begets a child by her, he will lose the rank of a Brahmana.

For he who explains the sacred law (to a Sudra) or dictates to him a penance, will sink together with that (man) into the hell (called) Asamvrita.

I have nothing to say...nothing at all

Gandhiji's Talisman

2008-01-07T21:54:00.000+05:30

Its written in the beginning of every NCERT book, it was written in the beginning of another book i opened today. It in essence says, whenever u are in doubt of whether to do something or not, think, of how ur actions are going to affect the poorest person u hae ever met. Then u will see ur doubts melting away...

We had this session on Good governance and People Living in Poverty today. Its a subject which I have taken in this term. The faculty is an ex IAS officer, Harsh Mandar, who resigned after the Godhra carnage because of the state's complicity in the whole matter.

It was the first time in months that i went thru 2 sessions without looking at the wallclock a single time.
Almost everything he said was insightful. But then would write about just a couple of them.

The question of the need for taking tough decisions came up. When the govt takes decisions like building of the Narmada dam for the benefit of the people. Some of us have to sacrifice for the greater good of the society. But then, who is it that is sacrificing? The Narmada dam is going to displace thousands of tribals with their miniscule plots and their ecosystems. At the same time, there are hundreds of projects which would "benefit the society as a whole" but the one's sacrificing would be the rich farmers.
Since independence, NEVER has such a project been conceived.
So we are asking those people to sacrifice who donot have anything to give. Is this equality?

All of what i write, i draw upon from the class today. None of it is mine.

Harsh Mandar also narrated an anecdote. There was this father who was apprehended trying to drown his daughter. His 7 yr old daughter. The child survived. She was traumatized on why her
loving n caring father was trying to kill her...
the man had 6 other children. the daughter he was trying to kill was suffering from a chronic kidney ailment which needed about a lakh rupees per yr to keep her alive. He put in all his earnings (he was a labourer) to keep her alive for a yr since her ailment. Now he had to make a choice. He either saves her, or his other children. So he made the choice.
A father having to make a choice of drowning his daughter...
And we are a country which is growing at over 8% per yr and we are going to hit double digits soon.
All major brands want to come to India because the "middle" class is eager to spend.
India is shining.

THE FUCK INDIA IS SHINING.
60 yrs since independence, a father has to drown his daughter to save his other children, 60 yrs since independence, over 300 million of us are illiterate, 60 yrs since independence, 50000 children sleep on the streets every night in Delhi alone, 60 yrs down the line, 50 men molest 2 women on new yrs eve, 60 yrs down the line, we havent been able to provide drinking water to more than half of the nation, what have we been able to do...
the fuck india is shining...

Mumbai...Love u...hate u...

2008-01-06T16:10:00.000+05:30

The flight landed. This was one of his many trips to the city of dreams, the city of slums, the city of the infamous mafia, the city of the famous dabbawalas...the city of mumbai.

He abhored the city...till the last time he came here. It brought back painful memories.
But this time something had changed. This time, as he passed through the city in the morning in a taxi, he felt a change.

As he saw the slums, houses (if one can call them that), one on top of another, where there wasnt place for even one. People going about their lives, a definite method in the chaos of the city, he felt attracted towards the city. This city represented perseverence to him, this city represented determination, this city represented optimism.

Then he passed in front of the Hyatt. The grand hotel, surrounded by slums. He felt heavy in his heart, he felt choked. But it wasnt the miserable condition of the slum dwellers which made him gasp for breath. No. He had never been so socialistic in nature. It was memories which came back in a flurry. The road, the conversations...
promise me...
i wont let go...
he had to shake his head to flush them out, those memories.

This was a city which had given and taken from him...something so precious...

He loved Mumbai...he hated mumbai

n in his mind, as he writes this post, he hums
Aye dil hai mushkil jeena yaha, zara hat ke zara bach ke yeh hai bombay meri jaan

what to post...

2008-01-01T23:01:00.000+05:30

For many days, i have been thinking of posting. Its when these things strike me, and i think this should be a blog post. And then i think i shld note down this thought or i will forget it. But then again i think, nahi yaar...i wont forget.

N then i forget.

So basically this is just me wanting to post with nothing to post but still posting...

Drinking has gone up these days. And I dont puke after drinking these days. Yesterday drinking was a must since it was new yrs. So drank, n was merry. Morning i wake up, I have a bruise on my lower lip. Now there is no other mark anywhere on my body or face. Just the lower lip. Hence I beleive some pretty girl kissed me, and in the passion of the hour bit my lower lip :D :D
N since morning, with a firm belief in this hypothesis, i am trying to think who can it be (i will not think logically...coz if i do, then i will have to give up this hypothesis n think where did i fall down to hurt myself :D)

Haan...called up friends yesterday before 12 and abused them to full of my satisfaction...bahut maza aaya.

Other than that, cant remember anything.
Was reading a fellow blogger's post. Resolutions ke baare mein likha tha.
I hardly made "new yr" resolutions anymore. Made a general resolution sometime back, wahi nahi kar pa raha hoon. But then i dont think i want to :o)

Chalo have a great yr ahead people. And wish the same for me :D

Reach Out...

2007-12-27T09:36:00.000+05:30

We had this course called ERI which is the acronymn for Explorations in Roles and Identity. From the feedback we received from our tucchas, it was a course where one cries n gets good grades, but on the serious side, one comes to know oneself better.

ERI is set in a desert resort, at a place called Zainabad. Its 3-4 hours from Ahmedabad. The purpose of setting the course there, where there is no internet, and till last yr very weak mobile signal too :o). So basically u r taken to an enviornment which is OUTSIDE ur normal world, so that u can SEE urself.
Neway, i had gone there with a set of expecations. But then in the process, i realized that I know myself pretty well. So its just a matter of coming to terms of being myself, acknowledging and ACCEPTING my feelings for wat they are, and if i beleive something needs to change, then work towards it.

The course as such, other than this particular takeaway, wasnt much useful. Did come to see some facets of human emotion in others, but then I knew bout or rather have experienced most of these at some point of time or other. So I could see where they are coming from :o) (few of the readers of this post would laugh at this stt for different reasons ;o)...try enacting "I see where u r coming from" in sign language...try all possible actions :D...n u will see what i am trying to say :D)

One important thing however which I realized was the importance of reaching out. Many a time when we are narrating/sharing a feeling/issue/problem/emotion, we arent looking for solutions, we are just looking to vent ourselves out. Realizing that, being a empathetic listener, n reaching out to them is very important....it feels really good when u can reach out to someone

Anyway, ERI is done, but many of us still are in ERI language mode...
When one sees people returning from the toilet...one says...I see where u r coming from :D

Blowing in the wind...

2007-11-28T07:40:00.000+05:30

Imagine the following scenarios:

1. 3 or more people in the room. Someone farts. Its a silent killer. Ur nasal hair is on the brink of incineration. What do u do? U twitch ur nose, and gasp for air. Now no one knows who has farted. So some of the other people would also imitate u, while some would act as if nothing happened (how can they do that, this is chemical warfare we are taking about here?!!!!). Anyway, finally no one knows or accepts who did it.

2. 3 or more people in the room. U fart. U thank god that its a silent one. But then they are the one's which are most hazardous environmentally n biologically (hazard for the others in the room). U wait for sometime to see if someone twitches his/her nose. U dont want to be the first one to jump at acknowledging the smell and get caught in the act. But after a considerable time (considerable here is contextual) if no one twitches, u either let it go, or play the whistleblower n gasp for air, and might even blame someone else. At the end of it, no one gets caught or accepts the blame (coz u farted n no one knows that u farted, or even if someone has his/her doubts, no one can prove anything)

3. 2 people in the room. The other person farts. U r about to die of suffocation. U make a face, look at him, give one of those smiles which has "I know wat u did last minute" written all over it. U try to stand the smell, but if its too much, u walk out. Now the walking out excuse would depend on the bonding u share with the other person. If its strong, u shout a few abuses, accuse the person of attempted homicide/manslaughter (it might have been involuntary u see, gastrointestinal muscles has their own way of acting/reacting) and walk out. If its not that strong, say u have to go to someone else's room or for a smoke (u donot say that u r going to the restroom, else the other person, even though guilty might accuse u of the sin).

4. 2 people in the room. U fart. The atmosphere has become poisonous since its one of those farts which happen after a missed shit in the morning. U avoid the other person's gaze and just hope that he is gentleman enough to not react, and his lungs are strong enough to bear the brunt of ur gaseous onslaught.

"Exam in 1 hour" disclaimers apply to this post :o)

Baggage

2007-11-23T17:45:00.000+05:30

When its 3:30 AM in the morning, and u arent feeling like doing anything.
U arent feeling sleepy. U arent feeling like watching a movie.
U arent feeling like reading the newspaper.
U arent feeling like smiling on thinking bout the frivolous teasing that ur friends shower on u. Infact u hardly feel like smiling on that, since it touches that one area in ur life which u wouldnt really be able to change.

And the worst part is, u arent feeling like cleaning up ur mind once a flurry of thoughts come in, thoughts that on any other day u would dismiss on the excuse of work, or having other things to do, thoughts that a few months ago elicited a physical response wherein u had to shake ur head to push them out, thoughts that nowadays hardly come by, coz u seem to have gotten over them and moved on.

People do move on, from experiences, from people, from thoughts, from life lived...
But as they move on, do they leave everything behind...
I guess not...there is some baggage which all of us carry with us...our fears, our happiness, our beleifs, our insecurities, happy memories...sad ones, goals acheived, targets missed

But then, doesnt some of this baggage feel too heavy on u sometimes...so heavy, that u feel you could shout out loud and let it flow out of ur system, but u wont, coz shouting wont come naturally to u
...So heavy, that u feel that ok...let me sit down n clean it out of my system, in whatever way, tears, alcohols, cigarettes, running like hell, whatever way possible
but then u r a person who just doesnt cry, alcohol does not have its affect, the best friends of ur life whom u might have shared something with are far away, cigs just burn ur lungs, n running just tires u out...

but the baggage still remains...heavy as always...

A simple question...

2007-11-13T06:02:00.001+05:30

How would you feel if u had plans of sleeping till 10 in the morning and were at the best of ur sleep, and then suddenly the phone rings, u curse, pick up the receiver, only to find that the phone is for the person in the next room.
Wait...there is even more, its a wake up call for that person, whom u can already hear is awake.

What do u do?

U say "hello, ok...who...no...his room number is so n so", keep the phone down, curse, n try n fall back to sleep.

If u r thinking i went thru this, well not exactly, i was not the victim, but the perpetrator of the crime :D

N for those of u who wish to do what i did, token of advice, dont introduce urself over the phone :D

Adios

Cleanliness Drive

2007-11-10T20:58:00.000+05:30

Woke up today morning (afternoon actually). Yesterday was Diwali. The whole day was in the room. Didnt want to celebrate. So consciously decided not to. Didnt even take a bath :D. However did have 3-4 pegs at night. Achi daru kisi bhi din chalti hai yaar, diwali or no diwali.

Neway, today morning, woke up and decided, room needs to be cleaned. Have got many pointers from inside (ie from myself) and from outside that room needs to be cleaned. Lemme just point out the outside pointers (just a couple of them):
1. Ashok sir comes to room, and starts coughing. I said what happened. He said, kuch nahi yaar, dust allergy hai. I wasnt smoking, so there was no smoke in the room. Looked around, and could see a clear beautiful layer of dust on my tables n laptop etc etc

2. Supriya and Khetan came to room for Amaethon speakers cell meet. Me being the gentleman i am, offered the chair to Supriya (since the other chair had clothes piled up, n the bed also was full of clothes n stuff). She sat and typed something on the laptop, n said, Nalayak, yeh kya ganda hai tera laptop. Typing on my lappie led to dust on her fingers :D

Neway, external pointers hardly matter in my decisions most of the time. So today afternoon, i felt its time to clean up the room. Also, was symbolic of my cleaning up some more of my memories of the past :o)
So it took me around 2 hours to clean up and realign the room (shifted the bed to the other side from one side, n the the stuff which was on the other side, to the side which was the bed side :o))
Finally, i felt very happy, proud and satisfied that the room was clean.
Went a step further, decided to get a haircut also. But the bloody festival season ensured that the barber shop was closed. Neway, shaved off my stubble (ok it wasnt a stubble, one week without shaving gets me more than a stubble, almost a beard) and went to the gymn after a long time. Had been running on most days, but the gymn had stopped.
So gymned, ran, played badi, took a bath, went out in search of cigs, found a couple, bought them, came back, n now am in my room :o)
Nice day.

Oh btw, am on fast today. Not for any religious reason, just that had eaten a lot over the last few days, and hadnt exercised also, so actally not feeling hungry today :o)
Tomorrow also, have put a condition for myself, that i have to wake up in the morning n run n then have breakfast.
Paagal hoon mai :D
But i dont mind :o)

Bored...Very Bored

2007-11-09T13:58:00.000+05:30

Its Diwali today...n i am fatally bored. Woke up late, actually woke up just now n have no idea of what to do over the next couple of days. Have lots of constructive stuff to do actually if i want to, lekin kambakth mann nahi kar raha.
The trip to Pondicherry would have been good. Actually was talking to Hitch the other day. Felt that should have gone to Pondicheery. However, staying back did accomplish significant work. But at the end of the day, the trip i had longed for since i came back from home didnt happen. Which is a tragedy.
NEEDED that trip.

Neway, now, cant think of much to do here on campus. As Randolf or Titto would define, I am an anti social person. So living up to those expectations, not really into festival celebrations. Bore hota hai. So thinking of what to do. One of things i could think of was crib n that is why typing this post :D

Hope u people have a better diwali.
Adios

A Trip too far...

2007-11-05T13:22:00.000+05:30

One trip I had planned for rediscovery, and I couldnt make it :o(
But I will go, somewhere, sometime soon...
Till then...

Do u wanna partner :o)

2007-11-02T10:25:00.000+05:30

I sit there waiting for my presentation…she comes really close…her face is right next to mine…I can feel her breath…if I turn n just move my head, my lips will touch her face
She tells me something I already know…she tells me something that she knows I already know….

I think…sahi hai yaar :D
She is pretty…she is smart…
Then when I am leaving…n some of us are exchanging visiting cards…she comes n gives me her card…I obviously reciprocate
Later on when I am sitting outside n smoking n she is leaving that way…she says…to me in specific n to the others in general…u should come for the celebrations we have tonight :o)

I gently refuse :o)

Am I looking out for someone…nahi miya…once bitten twice shy :o)

Sometimes I envy and feel jealous of all the beautiful happy couples I see…I feel…may there be a thunderstorm n the lightening fall right on them…:o)…bitterness does make u a bit of a sadist doesn’t it

but then I guess with the charm that I radiate…its going to be a tough thing remaining single :D :D… but then wat the hell…am known for my determination…so single I will be :o)

Again...

2007-10-26T06:23:00.000+05:30

Why does the past have to keep coming back in bits n pieces again n again n again?

The Fart Files

2007-10-24T20:13:00.000+05:30

Never have I been subjected to so much fart in such a short period of time :o)I boarded the train from Ahmedabad to Mumbai (my travels n stays in mumbai somehow can never be without experiences :o))

Boarded the lokshakti express. There was this gentleman in my coup. He was arranging his luggage. His butt was turned towards me. Thankfully there was some breeze (at least I think so :o)). Suddenly there was this Poooooooo sound. I thought its probably someone’s shoe or luggage crank.
Then after sometime, I was generally looking into thin air (this is my first journey to Mumbai after my last journey). The gentleman shifted his weight, lifted his butt cheek (don’t ask me which one, I didn’t notice) n again…poooooooooooooooooooooooo
Have never really seen anyone taking so much liberty in asserting one’s right to fart. Do respect this man for that :D

Neway, the amusement started to wane gradually as the farts started coming in a flurry. One, two, three….i lost count. How many in the one hour that I was awake. Everytime, shift of weight, butt cheek rise, a slight pressurized sound from the gut…n then the wind escapes with a subdued yet distinctive sound.
I congratulate myself at looking totally indifferent. It was partly because of the fact that my mind was occupied with the past visit to Bombay, and also because I didn’t want to take this man off ease.

Another phenomenon, one girl was in our coup. Some college student, who could not stop chattering on her phone. Our dear gentleman made it a point (or rather tried his best) to avoid the “breeze” when she was around. There was this one instant when he seemed to be quite at unease, as if holding back emotions, feelings…..wind :D
Then the young lady went to the restroom (maybe…I didn’t follow her). And then came the long Sidewinder…. poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…ppooooo…pooooooooooo
Seemed to go on for ever
I went up to my berth after some time n listened to a few more windy expulsions before I fell asleep.

Woke up in the morning, got down from my berth.And was welcomed by a …..Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mumbai Airport…the beginning of the end

2007-10-21T23:20:00.000+05:30

The end began here, in the airport. No details revealed.

Was told once of something called trauma therapy. When u go thru a trauma, to get over it, u must try n relive the experience. Helps u get over it.

Though I CANT relive the whole experience, coming to the airport surely seems like trauma therapy. Coz the trauma is coming back in bits n pieces.

Hope the therapy happens soon

Pondicherry…have great hopes from u

Hot Seat

2007-10-18T12:05:00.000+05:30

Throughout college I always thought...Why did my parents have to name me 'A'nurag? The A ensures that every practical exam has me writing it on the first day...bali ka bakra types.
Thought wouldnt disagree to the fact that some of the practical exams were easier on the initial days...lekin mere jaise kisi bande ke liye jiski exams se phat ti hai...thoda load hai na :o(

Neway, yesterday, again was in the hot seat. Now most probs this was not due to my name, because there was another person with a name starting with N in the hot seat too. But somehow I cant get this out of my head, that its because of the A.

Now u have to see our lecture halls to understand the gravity of the situation i am going to narrate. Our lecture halls are of the typical well shpe. There is a well in the middle, and there are rows of chairs surrounding it. The prof's desk is at the head of the well, and the well is visible from everywhere. That is the idea for it being a well :D

Now, have never seen a seating arrangement where there are two seats right IN the well. And guess who was one of the lucky guys...ME. And more so coz my chair was right in FRONT of the evaluator's desk. A photo would help explain the situation.
So its like anyone is getting bored in the exam, he/she can look at me scrathing my balding head and relax for a moment. If i get an itch 'down there' there is no way i can relieve myself. I cant sit in my typical village style with lets on the chair, since there are people asking me to sit properly :D (not that that is going to make a difference :D)

Neway, once the exam started, didnt have much time to look around, though the itch part, i think i did have to control myself once :D

P.S: Anurag means love.....f*****n irony :D

Talab

2007-10-16T08:28:00.000+05:30

Was introduced to this word by Haddi (Ritesh tewary) in college (or maybe in Infosys, how does it matter). Its an Urdu word (at least i think so) and its English translation would be "Yearning" (again...i think so :o))
Now the context I, or Sam Dadda or Haddi uses it in (I still do, the other two might have stopped using the word :o)) is SMOKING :D
Jab ciggi ki talab lagti hai to duniya hil jaati hai
Yesterday the same thing happened. Finished writing a paper for a competition. Then ordered my second meal in the day at midnight. That is when talab jaagi (talab woke up). And I had the ammo read cigs, but i didnt have a way to ignite the fire (read matchbox :D).
Searched here n there, the facchas who are the sources of matchbox, or patwari, were missing.
Shouted out to another smoker in the adjacent dorm. No matchbox.

Then i remembered. The guards guarding the ladies dormitories usually light incense sticks. Upar wale ke bhakt hai woh log...acha hai.
So i walked up to the ladies dorm. Asked the guard, u have agarbatti? He said yes. Then i said, if u have agarbatti, then u would have matchstick too (u see logical interpretation). He didnt have it, but another guard in another ladies dorm did. So we walked to that dorm, n got the cig lighted.

And finally the Talab was satisfied.
Peace :o)

Heights of Procrastination

2007-10-14T21:46:00.000+05:30

Another competition down the drain...why...was too lazy to start off...n ended up a frustrated soul on the last day :o(

The Stare Game

2007-10-12T00:09:00.001+05:30

Me in this Gujju restaurant Govardhan. All banter goin on. Me never good at it (n am sure wont really get good at it either...wat the hell :D)
N here a pretty gujju female enters with whole family. She is pretty in black.
Sits far across the room. For me, her profile is right in front of me (but for her mom n my friend who keep blocking the view from time to time). For her, she has to move her head a bit sideways to catch my glance.
She catches me glancing at her. On any other day, i would have looked in the other direction. Not today. I continue looking.
She also does not move her gaze.
Eyes locked. No smiles. But eyes locked. Not in the angry lock. But eyes locked.
The stare breaks from time to time when i get scared her mom is looking at me, or she gets scared her mom is looking at her, or the many environmental obstacles block our intimate stare.
Then the eyes meet again...And we look at each other...

N Then...

The bill is paid, we get up, I get up and leave, without even a goodbye glance :D

Kaagaz ke sher hai hum miya...lekin aaj pehla kadam tha...ab aage dekhte hai kadam kaha le jaate hai :D inshallah

Of stories and communication

2007-10-11T12:05:00.000+05:30

Has been a nice day. In the managerial commnications class, today Katlee and Benjy told two nice stories, the moral of both of which were similar. Which is, life throws obstacles n flowers at u. u cant take one n neglect the other. but then how u feel n maintain ur mood is totally on u.
remember that saying which a girl had put up in our classroom in 8th std (we were supposed to get nice quotes to put up on the classroom walls)...I cried because i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet.

Neway, bout communication, i beleive its the most important aspect of most relationships. i am bad at it. atleast with my family, i am really bad. but then even otherwise, i have been bad.
but then i made one genuine attempt and i beleive i was good in that. i tried my best to communicate, but then still things didnt work out.
but then ... shit happens :o)

So u add the first and the second para, u get the moral of this post. Which is...Communication is important, but then i am not good at it, will try to improve but cant promise, n even when i have been good, shit has happened...but then...what the hell...life moves on...n people find my smile very nice...so i might very well move on with my smile on my face n a tune on my lips :D

mai zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya...har phikr ko dhuye mein udata chala gaya :D

Course on book selection n table of contents

2007-10-10T02:49:00.000+05:30

When u go to a book shop, u look at the shelves. Ur eyes are searching for books (isnt it obvious...its a book shop). Then u note a book. Not the front side, but the "side" side (if its on a shelf, then obviously u ll notice the side side). U try n read the name (colour of the cover is definitely not a criterion for me :D). u notice the name of the author (sometimes), u pull out the book (predictable), u turn it around, read the back cover page, look at the reviews and the bit of story of the book given (tell me something new), then u turn it around n turn the front cover, look at the table of contents. Finally u decide to buy it or not...

This was taught to us in a Law class (yes we have that too :D) N u might think that i was laughing, but my face made no attempt to hide the boredom that i was going thru. Happens to me in every class of this subject. Most of the days i dont fall asleep coz i have just slept n hour in the previous class (4 PM is no time for a class, n that too for me, not at all). N when u dont fall asleep, n ur mind flatly rejects to open up even one small door to the incoming "information", the result is total total total frustration n boredom.

After the book selection guideline, we were given a discourse on Table of Contents.
U open the page, n u see the table of contents. It has the contents of the whole book. The page numbers are given so that u can turn to the required page. The table of contents comprise of parts..n what does each part comprise of?....silence...someone say...chapters. yes very correct chapters. very good. each chapter comprises of sections, n each section of paragraphs, n paragraphs of sentences, n sentences further comprise of words .... i was waiting please go on to the alphabets n then the phoenetics of alphabets...but i was disappointed.

Before i end, another god level question that was put forward to the budding managers of tomoro in the class.

What does each report that with?
someone answers...table of contents.
that's right...but what else.
silence
one person is specifically supposed to answer...its his turn to answer.
the guy sitting next to him whispers...conclusion
the person on the hot seat says...Sir..Introduction.

That's correct. Introduction. So we see that each report starts with an introduction. In the same way, each book starts with the table of contents...

God, gimme the strength to sit thru the rest of these classes...Amen

Are u GAY?

2007-10-07T17:39:00.000+05:30

Have been asked this question twice. Once was over chat. Wont go into the details of that.
Yesterday was the second time.

We were having this roof top party in the dorm. And few exchange students turned up. Once of them is Chinese. We are in the same project group for one subject. So we all were drinking n being merry. So then he asked "Where are the girls?" I said, what girls?
He said, u having a party without girls. I said, yes, we always have parties like this. Its not tht girls are not allowed or anything, but then that is how we have parties. At a dorm party especially for a guy's dorm, obviously no girls.
Then he said that he cant imagine a party without girls. So i went on to explain to him that in India, for bachelors, the general norm is to have parties without girls. daru, sutta, expletives, music (my idea of a great party :D).
So the discussion meandered around to me. My future plans, especially about girls (again :D)
So i said, I am not sure. But most probs i will would be single.

Then he asked, is that the norm here. I said NO. How do u think our country has so many people (population re :D). Then i told him that usually people get married but there can be cases when one chooses not to take the plunge. So as of now, I have chosen the latter.

He thought for a moment, n then with a smile asked "Are u GAY?"
I also smiled.

And felt good after smiling actually. To be able to smile at something u r totally against is good isnt it :D
I know homosexuality is just another sexual orientation etc etc blah blah, but then its something i have never been able to look at without prejudice (negative that too). n when i write the previous sentence, i am drastically mellowing down my feelings for gayism (this being a public forum :D) dont want to be targeted by pro-gay activists.

but then now i would present my chauvinistic side to u :D
I LOVE LESBIANISM.
see, i am a chauvinist in a way. but only this way. ekdum promise :D

Eye of the Beholder :o)

2007-10-05T05:47:00.000+05:30

Had seen a movie by this name. Saw Ashley Judd for the first time...fell in love with her (and have fallen in love with her again n again over n over as i see many of the "clips" of her movies :D)

Neway, this post is not about pornographic movie clips. Though i would make a point bout pornography too. But then this post is about eye contact.

Did i mention in one of my previous posts that we are having this course in communication. The prof is good. So he was saying something bout eye contact. And then gave interesting tit bits. He said, that when u first meet someone, ur eyes meet, as in a hello, n then they move away, moving over the face, as u try n absorb the person in ur mind. The eyes dont meet for very long. Coz those long engaging gazes are usually for two reasons. One is something me n sam dadda used to discuss in bangalore which is when eyes express unexpressable emotions for eg. Madar c***, bhan ke L**** mai tera khoon bhi piyunga aur teri ma bhi c*** doonga :D.
And coincidentally, the other is also when ur eyes express emotions, but these are emotions of the finer sense. Havent u seen two lovers just look into each others' eyes n say nothing. In case u havent u need to go n see some hindi movies or just go to some lover's park in some city n watch all the love birds.

So basically looking long long enough into another person's eyes (not staring or glaring) expresses a comfort level which most people dont share. So if u (guys) try looking into a girl's eyes long enough, u might be accused of acting "fresh" (never understoond why the term came up...acting fresh...as if we guys dont brush or something).
But then it might be exciting to try it out sometime. I tried it out the other day in class with an exchange student, n her pupils enlarged.

Now that is a good sign. Coz when u see something that u like seeing, then ur pupils enlarge to let more light n more of the image in (now do u remember pornography...yes...guys...when u watch porn...ur pupils enlarge ie open up more).
Now if any of u sick minds try to draw an analogy between the pupils of the exchange student enlarging n pornography, i should be coming down to ur place n giving u "one tight slap" (as in mtv or channel v).
N on any other day, i would have been overjoyed noticing the enlarged pupils :o)...but then right now...naaaaaaahhh
i wont say i like being alone....but then i dont like any other person invading my loneliness :o) isliye parakrami anurag dutta fight nahi marenge...aur baaki sabhi fighters ko sampoorna samarthan denge...gusshow gusshow full support full support

n me...have to wait another hour to burn my lungs... :o)

3 days of Life

2007-09-30T10:11:00.000+05:30

He lay down on the bed. He wasnt feeling sleepy, inspite of the fact that it had been a tiresome day. But he just wasnt feeling sleepy.
"You know sometimes when you are really tired but then u still dont fall asleep...."
He twisted and turned on his bed. He didnt like not being able to fall asleep.
"Promise me..."
He closed his eyes shut tightly, remembered what a yoga teacher had told him once...empty your mind, and look at yourself as if you are another person, and then feel the person looking at you that is you urself, is rising high, to the ceiling of your room, to the roof of your house, to the top of the building, to up into the sky, to next to the stars...RELAX...n feel yourself falling asleep".
"I wont lose interest..."
He turned again. The relax method wasnt working. Then he tried flooding his mind with other thoughts. Plans, rather, of what he would do tomorrow. Read frontline, call on friends, try n reduce smoking...
"I am falling..."
He opened his eyes. It had been half and hour since he lay down on bed. 3 hours back, he was feeling like sleeping like a log, but now, sleep just wouldnt oblige.
"I dont want to let you go..."

He got up. Walked up to this laptop. Orkut was something he was always logged into. So he started browsing profiles, all the while avoiding the "Search" tab. Willingly and unwillingly, he used that tab everyday, going to the same profile, and then coming back without entering it.
He held himself back this time. After some directionless profile browsing, he cursed himself for not stocking cigarettes.
"I will miss you..."
He shook his head. Trying to force out these images, these voices. He said out loud "aaaaaaaaa...come on...think something else". It seemed to work. He was thinking of the work lying ahead in the coming week. There was a lot to do. He was trying to get all the work he could get his hands on. Try n keep myself busy, was what he said to anyone who would ask.
"Can I hold your hand?"

He smiled. Went back to bed. He knew he wont fall asleep. But then insomnia was now something he had started to live with.

The 3 days of life, the 3 happiest days, would keep coming back. And deep down inside, he didnt want to let them go...those 3 days...

P.S: This is a short story, and has not resemblance to anyone dead or alive :o)

AEP: Threat to Indian Culture

2007-09-29T03:34:00.000+05:30

F****g hypocrites we are. Once in a while there are initiatives like Adolescence Education Program, which aims to just provide knowledge to adolescents about themselves, about stuff which they might find difficult to ask at home, stuff they need to know.
And what happens. Governments of 8 (or maybe more) states ban the program (education is under the state govt.) calling it "Sex Education" and one chief minister even goes on to say that rather than this, we shld teach our children about our culture, yoga etc.

What culture are we so proud of yaar? Wat is our culture? If we say Sex is not part of our culture, then first of all go and destroy the Temples of Khajuraho. Kamasutra was written in India. And try explaining the dozens of sons the kings had. I am sure they didnt have Test Tube baby technology back then.
What other stuff? Yoga. Yes. This is something good. But other than the government making a hue n cry about teaching it, how many of them actually implement it.

Culture they say is respect women. F**k man. We are living in a country where in the capital its unsafe for women to venture out alone after sun down. We are living in a country where to punish a family, the womenfolk are paraded naked. This is our RESPECT to women.

Culture is respect to GOD. Now i dont want to view my views on this. But in the name of god, we witness riots, we witness casteism coz one caste is more favourite of the gods.

at 4 in the morning, i cant really think of what else to include in this post. But thn now i understand something. have a friend in the development sector. she told me that working in the sector sometimes can leave u really depressed. now i know why.
u know the system is rotting. u take a broom and get down into the crap to clean it. once clean, the benefit would accrue to the whole society. there wont be anyone who is hurt.
but u wont be allowed to do it. u wont be allowed to help others with ur own sweat n hardwork.

F**K CULTURE

Bataas ki Mama se Mutbhed :o)

2007-09-27T03:12:00.000+05:30

In Assam, we call the police Mama (something like Munna bhai ka Mamu :D)
Today, took Zhavada's (dorm name for a faccha) bike to Riverside School (different post different day). On the way back, there was this place called Dilli Darwaza where there was a lot of rush. Ahmedabad traffic anyway is one of the most unruly ones. There are junctions with only a yellow light blinking and vehicles coming from all directions. The only way is slow down as u approach the junction, see if the other vehicles from other directions have slowed down, if yes, u move on, else, let them move on, else be a hero and then let fate decide :D
Neway, at Dilli Darwaza, we (me n Jhaad) rode, another f****r biker came from the side out of nowhere, I had to brake. Mama saw us, pulled us aside. Zhavada's bike is Maharashtra registered (somehow Maharashtra does not click with me, though many of my good friends are ghatis). Asked for license, some docs etc. Finally gave me a slip coz I didnt have a helmet :o)
All this time I have been driving (hasnt been long actually :D) have never been caught by police for anything, n today, finally Bataas met Mama.
In hindsight, was a "new" experience though.
Today has been a day of new experiences. But would put them across one by one in different posts. Shayad isi bahane readership thodi badh jaye :D

Arbit addition: Waiting for 13th October, would be 3 months :o) I am incorrigible (learnt this word from Gaji...I mean Gazi, Safiul that is :o) ) But that is the way i am.

Writer's Block

2007-09-24T14:40:00.000+05:30

So I am not the only one afflicted by this issue :o)
Today in our communications class, the prof said its a very general phenomenon. Now what exactly is Writer's block. Its when one has a big time problem starting off writing. Once one starts, then the rest of it (read fart :o)) starts flowing automatically :D
Now Qwicky told me today, u dont have a writer's block. I asked Why do u say so? He said, because of ur blogs.
Now my blogs are more of a conversation arent they? U people decide :D
But then writing reports or papers or bloody WAC assignments is totally different. That is where the Writer in me gets blocked :D

Are u in the same league as me?

The Memory Remains...

2007-09-19T23:17:00.000+05:30

Shouldnt have watched "When Harry Met Sally" today :o)
He he...woh kahawat hai na...mulle ki daud masjid ki aur :o)
Neway, thought of watching flags of our fathers. Then decided against it. Thought wud watch a feel good movie. Watched Harry Met Sally. Was a nice romantic movie. I told u guys before right. Have started watching feel good romantic movies again :o) Earlier used to watch just action flicks.

Ended up being sulky whole evening, smoking over 15 cigs n then finally 3 hours of badminton cured me :o) Oh missed gymn also n hogged like a dog. But then kal vrat par chala jaunga :o)

Gotto sign off. Should be writing this stuff. Or even the night is gonna get screwed :o)
Good night amigos n senoritas

Going going gone

2007-09-14T23:09:00.000+05:30

Ah...the King of the Jungle is here. Warren Buffet, its time for u to retire. Bataas has finally entered the infamous yet scintillating world of shares ....muwahahahahahahaha

Bought my first shares today. If u want to know which ones, please send across 10 dollars (or the equivalent in Indian rupees, but the exchange rate would be the one prevailing 5 yrs back :D) to my account first. Coz telling u which shares I am investing in would be equivalent to giving u stock advice :D And nothing comes for free my friend.

Now this would put u in another dilemma, the question of information asymmetry. How would u know that the advice I am giving is true :D Also it might be a case of lemon's problem. Wherein I am hooked up with some f****d up shares, and I want to dispose them, so I give u the advice, and then u come to the market, and I am waiting there for u to sell them to u since I am the only seller :D (I can explain why if u call me, but beware, never question the logic of how this would operate in a free market, any doubts u have would have to be taken to ur grave coz no one questions me :D muwahahahahaha)

But its fun. I bought the shares between 3 and 3:30 PM, when the market closes. And the prices began to fall a bit. So I decreased my bid, and kept waiting for the prices to fall further. Then they didnt, i increased, they fell, i decreased. Finally bid n offer met for me at 5 paise above the lowest offer price of the day. Fair enough for first day :D

Now I understand wat fun gambling must have. I am already planning to getting more funds to invest over the next few days. But would stop after my next set of investments. Coz right now, am investing in companies which most people would not invest. But then didnt I say, u can see similarities between me n warren buffet, but then, he still has to work hard to reach my level :D

Adios amigos n senoritas

What is wrong...

2007-09-13T20:34:00.001+05:30

with accepting the fact what someone might be in love with u while u just want to be friends?
In the end, since friendship is both sided, n love is one sided, both the people would still be friends only na?
Something I havent understood till now. And surely am giving up trying :o)

Had visited a psychologist a few days back. Always wanted to do that. I find psychology very interesting, and am not boasting, but am kinda good at it myself too. Was the agony uncle for many of my friends in college, and i beleive i gave some really good advice. However, about the visit, I was disappointd. Found her very similar to a consultant :D
When I was in IMS, one English Faculty (from IIMB) told us "A consultant is a person who would take ur watch and tell u the time". Draw the corresponding analogy here too.

But then for me, right now, I am just letting things be :o)
Acknowledging my feelings, not trying to change them, recognizing the constants in life, n keeping myself busy. And planning a trip to some place alone. Have to try n be happy with myself. Everytime i go home, i get irritated at having nothing to do. So will now make conscious efforts to be happy with myself. And its going to be necessary also. Jab dost logo ki shaadi ho jayegi tab aur kisko ghinaunga :D
Waise we have a league of extraordinary gentlemen. Hopefully that league would be there to give the members company :o)
Currently there are 3 members i know, myself, Upam and Deka. But with life, u never know, when Upam n Deka give me the slip :D
Lekin mai yeh league akela hone se bhi chalaunga :D

Right now, working on a paper on CSR. Have to finish it by tomoro. Sutta maaro, movie dekho, kaam karo, busy rehne ki koshish karo, remember the good times, remember nimokh tel bhaat with nemu tenga, enjoy tomotoes in the mess...
Good life :o)

Today is Sept da 13th...

2007-09-13T19:50:00.000+05:30

3 months from Friday the 13th July 2007 :o)
Feeling Nostalgic :o)
And Smiling :o)

Signatures

2007-09-10T03:07:00.000+05:30

of emails. Not actual signatures. Now many of u might know i am a dabbler in handwriting analysis, but then dont worry wont bore u with that.

I have been thinking...should put a joke for my signature. Acha rahega nahi. When people are done reading my mail, then they would at least laugh at the joke :D
But the problem remains, all the jokes i know are non veg ones :o) Actually used to know many good (n bad) jokes, but forgot most. Now to just remember Jeevan ke kuch satya which are again not very decent :o) NIT Guys would know what i mean :D

So not putting the joke also in signature. Also, many a times u dont want to sign off in a mail. Coz the way u want to sign off, may not be appropriate under given circumstances. Like if i am writing a mail to my boss in my previous company, i would like to end saying...Hope u rot in hell arsehole and the devil mates with ur wife regularly in front of u, but then i wont be able to do that right...its not appropriate :D
Also, on a more serious note, the ending signature in a mail is supposed to show one's emotions. That again is a problem many a time.

So i have decided to drop signatures from some specific mails. Now if u get a mail from me without a signature, u have a puzzle to solve. Is there a hidden meaning behind the absence of it, or is it just that i didnt sign it off :D

Adios (See here i am signing off :D)

Kandy, Laina, Murthy, Upam...

2007-09-09T10:54:00.001+05:30

I love u guys.
Now, no one (including these 3 people) please raise ur eyebrows. Its just that when u r going thru a bad phase, n u get mails, many a time unsolicited from friends, offering not to help, just telling u that they are there with u, as friends, its something else.
And in my case, with the strange n absurd kind of person i am, it also helps coming to terms, which i guess the morning mails today helped me do to a large extent already.
Get up in the morning, open ur mailbox (still havent brushed my teeth or crapped u see :o)) n see beautiful mails from friends...this is heaven :o)

N these are also times, when there is some small bit of introspection happening. As to why the fuck do i have to be such an assholic introvert? Hmmm....will have to work on that.

Also, since this might sound like one of those thank u speeches of oscars, might as well take this opportunity to thank upam. Saale... thanks. That chat was really really helpful man :o)

Ah, now i have to clarify something here. Kandy, Murthy, Upam, I know u guys are straight, but bout my loving u part, please dont get any ideas yaar :D U see, I am scared of gays. Had one pretty bad experience in school. College to was a mally dhoti clad gay region :D
N in pune, one night after drinking, one of my friends (wont take names), in his dreams, thought he was with a girl n got hold of me instead. If only he had slept facing the other direction, he would have found Sohum n probably more "happiness" :D
Neway, I woke up Deka, who was also drunk, and then made him shift a bit, make some place for me, n slept (have never had doubts about deka's or dadda's sexual orientations :D)
So guys, please dont get any ideas :D

But then this blog post, was a thank u note to u four people.
Thanks dosto. Thanks a lot.
Love u all (like they say in the oscars :D)
Adios

Coming to terms...

2007-09-08T14:35:00.000+05:30

That is my new orkut profile name :o)

What am I coming to terms with? Life :o) As my previous posts would indicate, a lot has changed in life. And I was told that rather than trying to get over stuff, try and live through it, without trying to really "get over it". Hmmmm...sounded pretty strange to me.

The other day, Kandy mailed. Was great to get his mail. And he said, like he always does, time would change things. Guess he is right. Though it wont change everything.

Neway, right now, I resolve to come to terms with life as it is, and as I want it to be. And it shall be.
Full Stop :o)

TimeTable

2007-09-08T14:27:00.000+05:30

I used to love “studying” the time table. It was a favourite past time. Me and Titto used to spend over an hour sometimes making plans of what subjects to take n wat not to take, which subject would be load free, etc etc.

Last term, before bidding, the time table was something very imp for me since I had to select subjects which fell only in the first half of the week. Got them.

Then when I was going home this time, it was a Thursday. Had plans of studying the time table and planning stuff for the 5^th term. It was in the front pocket of my bag.

Remained there. Never opened it.

Now I don’t enjoy studying the time table any more.

Chalo koi nahi. There are many things that have changed.

I don’t enjoy watching the television anymore. I don’t like making plans for the future, coz they invariably fail. My choice of movies has also changed to some extent from pure action to non action also. Have made some very arbit n crazy decisions, but I will stick to them. Coz determination on some fronts has increased :o)

So the wheel of time moves on. I move along. And we move together on the path of life (me and time re…wat else :o))

Friday the 13th

2007-09-06T20:10:00.000+05:30

They say its a very bad day. Jason kills innocent teenagers on Friday the 13th.
This july 13th was a friday. But is was a beautiful day. And will always remain so.

Of Constants and Variables

2007-09-05T23:55:00.001+05:30

One's life has constants and variables.
As the name suggests, constants dont change (just like in Physics n Chemistry etc etc).
Ur parents, ur relatives are constants.

Then there are variables. Acquaintances, infatuations, crushes etc etc.

Many a time variables becomes constants. Such constants include friends, love etc.

Now constants, almost always, u love them a lot. Be it ur parents, or generally ur relatives.
Ur friends, that special someone.

But then there are times when constants change. Which is against the universal law, which here is ur conscience, ur expectations, ur dreams, ur feelings.
The change may be from one constant to another, or from a constant to a variable.

N its not easy to variabalize a constant. Or change the categories of constants. Its a very painful process.
But then like i said in my previous post, u come to certain crossroads in ur life when u have to make a choice, both the options would finally mean that ur happiness n feelings are fucked.
N when the choice involves variabalization of a constant, then u r anyway fucked to the maxim (was deka's profile name for sometime on orkut)

But then after trying continuously, very hard, every possible way, i guess one (i at least) have come to the conclusion that i cant really change certain constants and the emotions involved. But then accepting this also involves living with some bitter truths in life, which u want to neglect at all possible costs, but then its a truth, that stares u right at the face, so u cant ignore it.

I choose to let constants be constants, n live with the bitter truth. That might mean many things, many actions, many changes, except for one thing, which is the constant. N i guess that would remain constant.

Crossroads

2007-08-30T17:30:00.000+05:30

Life teaches u a lot.
And one thing I learnt yesterday is that life is a lot about choices.
U come to a crossroad, n u have to make a choice. And u know both the options u have in the end would end up in u being not happy, rather sad.
But then u make a choice. Everyone has to.

Who the fuck says life is beautiful. Just remembered Titto's blog name.
No one dies a virgin. Life fucks everyone.
So apt.

Dhuan

2007-08-29T04:30:00.000+05:30

My parents knew that I smoke. But then I haven’t really “openly” smoked at home. Now this time, I have pledged to try n reduce smoking. And my supposed target is 2 per day. Damn. I myself know consciously n unconsciously that I wont be able to cap it at that. But then, let me try my best at whatever is possible.
Neway, now I atleast have the liberty to smoke in my backyard :o) Hence smoking is official now. Just that the cap thingy stays :o)
Talking bout smoke, have u ever seen smoke coming out of ne part of ur body other than the nostrils or the mouth (thru cigs) ? Now maybe some of u fart poisonous gases (have known a few instances wherein the respite of one individual has known to almost burn other people’s nasal hair…keyur gondalia are u listening :D
Neway, right after my arrival here, in less than 24 hours, I could see smoke coming out of my legs. It was actually a coterization session for the corns in my leg. Before each “electrical” burning, I was given a local anesthesia, n DAMN…that is the most painful part. Coz the needle is pushed in, n its moved around once its deep inside, so anaesthesize the area. And when we are talking bout the leg, its more difficult to push in the needle. Also the anaesthesia fluid is quite heavy. Neway, what I am trying to tell is that is VERY painful. I am quite used to taking normal injections. During engineering once, I was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome, wherein whatever I ate, left the body in a span of a couple of hours. So the doc in baby memorial gave me a dosage of 2 injections per day for 2 weeks or so. So every afternoon, I would go to the medical centre, n the get the injections. They said it would be less painful in the butt, but u tell an engineering student to take injections in the butt, its hardly plausible that he would oblige. Hence my arms (alternate ones on alternate days) would take the brunt.
Neway, so what I was saying was, on Saturday, after each injection, I could see myself being burnt :o) Hmm…n I didn’t actually dislike the smell.
Neway, right now am resting at home. And the one thing I dislike, rather hate, is having nothing to do. When u have nothing to do by choice, then u still can find things to do like read etc. But when its by force like not being able to move around, then u wont even feel like reading etc. The biggest manifestation of this (n probably other influences, especially some people :o)) is that I donot even feel like watching TV :o)
Neway, it’s the usual me getting bored at home in 2-3 days syndrome. So now counting days to get back to the normalcy of college n work :o)

A beautiful day :o)

2007-08-21T07:44:00.000+05:30

Start the day knowing that there still exists goodness in this earth full of vice (4 alarms rang n i didnt wake up. Finally a pious soul Kacchi from the nearby room came n woke me up :D), then think u will sleep again, but get a beautiful wakeup alarm :o) (PRICELESS :D), then watch urself in the mirror n reiterate "I dont look like a monkey", speculate about the weather and go out to find its raining, but still limp ur way outside the campus to get cigs and chai. Get the cigs, get chai, have a rain drenched cig and rainwater mixed chai, water on ur shoulders and not many people around (or kids to accuse u of being a monkey :D), limp back to your room, light another fag and blog...

good morning amigos n senoritas
ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY :o)

do i...

2007-08-21T02:09:00.000+05:30

look like a monkey?
today morning, woke up early since had slept early. went to buy sutta. while coming back, a toddler who had probably learnt to speak a few words, was being walked around by her aaya. i was approaching them from behind. The toddler turns around, looks at me, smiles, points towards me and says "Monkey", "Monkey".
I just smiled, genuinely i smiled :o)

Prayers

2007-08-17T23:50:00.000+05:30

I hardly pray.
When I was in college, before every exam I used to pray. I used to say "God, be with me, help me succeed in my endeavours so that I can live up to the standards I have set for myself" and some other crap. I still judge (or rather try to judge) myself on the standards I have set for myself.
Anyway, early in 4th yr, I lost faith. I thought I had become an aetheist. But then gradually, that changed to a point now wherein I acknowledge the presence of someone up there. But also the fact that if something is to be done with my life, I have to do it. "HE" (god is always referred to as male, another thing i would write about in a while) wouldnt have nething to do with it. He may, but I wouldnt call upon HIM to help me out. I have to help myself out.
Even now, sometimes I do call upon HIM for myself, but very rarely. The prayer hasnt really changed. Its more or less the same, wherein I want to be successful by the standards I have set for myself.
Coming to the point of God being called "HE", why not "SHE". Few of the strongest people I have met in my life of 24 yrs n 8 months and probably 24 days now, have been women. And not extraordinary in the sense that everyone knows them or they are idols or something. Its just the simple indian woman. My Ma, who has always been strong throughout her life, raising me and babi in places like Delhi, Andhra and Assam; a friend who changed my perspective a lot on many issues and I would always be thankful to her for that, and now, the person whom I love.
She has displayed amazing strength in such adverse conditions, and is still standing strong. And apart from all this, she has to put up with someone like me, which in itself is strength. But jokes apart, I have always beleived love inherently has respect imbibed in it, and I respect her immensely. I can only dream of being as strong as her.

Now coming back to the issue of praying, there are these times when I still sometimes feel like praying. When I go to temples (when I am taken to temples), I pray for my family, which isnt going through very good times right now. Not financially, but in some other sense. And today I have found another reason to pray.

So god, if u r there somewhere, listening, then listen to me, listen to my prayers. When I pray for the people I love, I am praying for myself, so I am being selfish.
But god listen to me, please...

Khelo WIMWI Khelo...

2007-08-13T04:11:00.000+05:30

We at WIMWI (Well known Institute of Management in Western India a.k.a IIMA) play this game 3 times a yr starting term 3, then in term 4 and then term 5. Have played two innings already. N damn, is it exciting :D
The bidding timings are announced. Its all managed by the student's academic council n they have the toughest time during bidding. N they do a great job always.
But the fun lies in the process.
There are several courses up for bids. But usually some of them are sought after the most. So for the first 1.5 hours of the 1 hr 45 minutes, the bids move by a point or so. Its basically people sensing the market and trying to find out how much interest others have in teh course. Also we have fixed number of bidding points that we can use (oh forgot to mention everything is online, software hai).
But then the last 5 minutes are pure pure panic :D
Points go sky high. People are left with no point n the bidding keeps rising. One has to remove points from one subject n put in another if he/she chooses that the other subject is what they want. Then u cant remove points from a subject u r winning, till u start losing it ie u have been outbid. So if u put too many points on a subject, then u would be at a loss for points in another.
Then if u uncheck a subject without removing the points first, then u lose the points along with it.
And the best (i find it worst) part is the funda of X. The bidding is for 1 hr 45 minutes + X minutes, where X is a random number generated by the system. This is ensure that people dont hoard points till the last moment and outbid serious bidders who have been helping to determine the market prices for the subjects.
Now X can stop any moment coz no one knows what X is. So during X, bidding, or removing points n putting it on another subject etc are dangerous, but people do do it.

Last term, during X i lost a subject i was bidding for from the beggining, and picked up two which are the biggest pains in my arse this term.
This bidding, I picked up two subjects i wanted by putting enough number of point over the minimum bid. BUt then during X, there was another subject I wanted, and had points also, but didnt have the gurda to bid for it, just in case someone outbid me in the other two subjects and then i dont have points to bid higher for them. Coz i seriously wanted these two subjcts, since then my week gets over in 3 days :D muwahahahaa
so next term i have classes only 3 days a week :D n baaki 4 din, karenge kuch. kaafi plan hai. there are many big cities near ahmedabad :D

So right now, me already waiting for the next bidding to happen in next term

P.S. : Did i mention that myself and Titto have a common hobby. Discussing the time table, studying it and "analysing" which possible subjects to take in the next term. So that would start in 5th term again. Right now, exams just round the corner, and also many projects up my arse. So finally having to work in tucchadom. But chalta hai. Only 2 weeks na :o)

The Return of Bataas...

2007-08-04T19:06:00.000+05:30

If they can make a movie on The Return of the King (LOTR) then why cant they make one on my return into the world of blogging again?
Hmmmm...good thought. Will have to brainstorm over it :o)

Hey dost log.
Have been away for a long long time. But then Laina put it correctly in her comment. Life has been a dream lately and am still not out of it and hopefully would never come out. Its a dream one sees with open eyes. But then that would be another post :o)

Right now, rather till now, have been thoroughly enjoying second yr ie tucchadom. Its a phenomenon that exists only in IIM Ahmedabad (so Kandy dont be happy and earnestly wait for 2nd yr, wont help :D).

When life is both slow n fast at the same time, when u have so much time that u dont know wat to do with it, and then suddenly there is no time at the same time, then u know that u r a tuccha.

Understood? No? Dont worry. Its like watching gunda :D Try not to make sense out of it n then everything just falls into its right place :D

So me has been thoroughly enjoying this life now. Gymn regularly but then not to built aolle sholle but rather to lose some weight. When i left WIMWI for summers, i was 75, the Hong Kong food made sure i come back to Ahmedabad at 73.5 kgs (that is actually strange because "most" people including ones in Hong Kong put on significant amounts of weight in summers. I guess i should thank the regular 20 pack of cigs for this :o) Thanks o my dear cancer stick. U r the one for me) Then after coming here, was hovering around the same weight. Tried out GM diet ie General Motors diet. Its a sick form of food to lose weight by starving urself. It was started by those sick Americans. Neway, could go thru it for one evening only. That was the first day, and only water melon n musk melon was being served. There are about 6 meals a day in GM diet. I ended up having only 3. N that night, had to wake up late (in tucchadom one wakes up late for no particular reason). So at around 3:30 AM, could not stand the pangs of hunger any longer, went to the night canteen and had chicken soup. Next day morning, gorged 2 gobi parathas. GM diet gaya g***d marane.

Then turned to the gymn (had been going before also) to lighten up the path to weight loss. And over the last one month, have come down from 74 odd to 69. That is good.
The mess food is also to thank for that. When one is on a weight loss regime, he would try to avoid excessively oily food. And our mess makes sure that such a criteria leaves with with only one choice of food on most days: daal, chawal, roti and raita. So I am not the only one to take credit for losing the 5 kgs in a month.

Also, had had a target of getting into a jeans which i bought from roadside n since day one, which would not even slip up my arse (in 3rd term). Now can easily slip into them :o)

Muwahahahahahahahaahahah. Bataas khush hua.

Actually that has been most of what I am doing. And as I mentioned bout the beautiful dream which has I am living right now and would live for the rest of my life, that I would tell u guys some other day.

For now, this is my return post. So keep watching this blogspace for more posts in the near future.

Adios.

sapne...

2007-06-25T21:08:00.000+05:30

During CAT prep i should have given more attention to Reading Comprehension. Am repenting now.
How, u would ask ( poocho poocho...nahi poochte to mai khud hi bata deta hoon)
One of our profs speaks pretty long n intricate sentences. If written down, they would span over 2 lines (at least i think so) and would be full of commas, semicolons, exclamation marks, question marks and all other forms of punctuation Wren n Martin could think of.
And the subject is anyway highly theoretical, n there are times when even without sleeping for a single minute in the class, at the end of it, i am left thinking....kis baare mein padha ke gaya

but then such moments are hard to come by. coz usually 15-20 minutes into the class, i doze off. now dozing off in class in the first row generally leads to sleeping and waking up in short intervals. so it can be described as spurts of awakedness between an hour of sleep.
now during these spurts of awakedness, the mind and the other senses tend to grasp whatever few words emanate from the prof's mouth and watever diagrams are there on the board. this data is fed to the unconscious mind, and then manifests itself in the form of dreams. i managed to remember 2 of these the other day, and am writing them down here:

awakedness spurt: prof is teaching something about optimizing electrical transmission through stacking the transmission in slots, n consuming it. or maybe it was distribution.....zzzz
sleep
dream: i am married and am getting late for office. but i cant leave without my necessary morning chore. i get out four pairs of shoes. i stack them one over the other. wear the topmost in the pile and leave. come back during lunch. wear the other pair. leave. come back in afternoon. wear the third pair. leave. come back during evening. wear the last pair. leave. n my better half (dont ask me who, i myself dont know, the face was blurred i guess :o)) does the same thing. and we look at each other, smile and repeat this throuout the day.

awakedness: prof is teaching something about transmission n distribution again. i dont understand. suddenly remember the vampire cartoon hellsing i was watching in the morning...
sleep
dream: i am a human. one cute girl in our batch is vampire. she has cut her arm. blood is dripping. if i drink that blood, then i too become and immortal vampire with unsurmountable powers. a day walker. i am lookin at the dripping blood.
she pours the blood in a tea cup, mixes some sugar (or maybe salt) and stirs it like tea. and offers it to me. there is a housemaid standing behind her. he places the cup on a tray and brings it to me. i look at the cup, at her, at the cup again, at the contents.
i wake up again.

lookin forward to the next session. phir se ajeeb sapne aayenge :o)

the rain dance

2007-06-21T10:25:00.000+05:30

bachpan mein ek angrezi doha padha tha (read rhyme), Rain rain go away come back again some other day.
pichle kuch dino mein agar yaha par koi aisa bolta to wahi gala ghot deta mai uska
the heat in ahmedabad was terrible since i came back. it was hitting 42-43 everyday, and add to that high humidity n almost no breeze. the bottomline is all of us tuchas in campus were roasted.
the symtoms of the heat were something like they portray in hindi movies when someone is in love ie na raaton ko neend aati thi na din mein chain.....kuch bhi karne ka mann nahi karta tha....bas leta rehta tha.....aankhen band bhi ho to bas tumhari (baarish ki) yaad aati thi
see wat i mean
so yesterday, when the rain goddess finally blessed us, there was no end for the joy.
it started off with me n patwari deciding to play badi. maclo, masho n sigma joined us. by that time, it had started raining quite well. but who was gonna miss the first rain of monsoon. we played a game. then me, maclo n masho went on to play frisbee in lkp (louis kahn plaza)
i could not run, but kya farak padta tha.....we played for an hour or more, some of us diving n splashing in the rain, some others were playing football, some were just taking a walk

so o dear rain goddess, stay here as long as u like. u r most welcome :o)

jhoom barabar jhoom

2007-06-16T11:08:00.000+05:30

second yr has started with a bang. but then to describe the finer aspects of tuchadom, i would post a different post. today i would devote my undivided attention n praise to Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

Wat a movie yaar, wat a movie. At the end of the movie, we (the gang ie me, titto, randolf, bhaskar and nisha) we begging for more. i could not beleive that the movie was over. just before the end, there is a scene where amitabh is thinking and fixing up the loose ends of the movie, and he starts laughing. its so amazing (not his laughing) because u feel like he is right there with u, sitting beside u and laughing......at u.....no no....why would he laugh at the audience?

we will come to the laughing part again in the end. now before i begin, i strongly recommend all of u to go and watch the movie. and if for some unholy reason, u r planning not to do so, then read on, or else, some of the fun of the movie wll be lost. but then jbj (jhoom barabar jhoom) is one of those movies where u wont loose the fun and the masti even if u have read a book on the storyline beforehand.

the film starts in a england railway station. abhishek bachan is a punjab ka munda who makes his living in UK doing dunno wat, maybe getting sardars to london. he bumps into preity zinta (oh she is so hot, especially with her new (un)dressing sense :o)) so after some initial hiccups they begin to chat, wahi par kisi food corner mein. then they tell each other their love stories. abhishek loves anaida (lara dutta) who is french pakistani and from paris. lara dutta is hot man, seriously. when she is one screen, at least we four guys are generally silent (giving her our undivided attention). in one scene, she is wearing a nice low cut dress (dunno wat it is caled). titto ne mast bola, ek side assets hai ek side liabilities, dono side balanced n healthy, in fact very healthy :o) neway, so he falls in love after trying to run away from the ritz without paying where she is a manager. they fall in love finally.

preity's love story ka karta dharta hai superman she is visiting madam tussad's where a superman ka putla is about to fall on her, and bobby deol, who is richer than prince charles, saves her. he is a lawyer, and they together sue madam tussad's and win n fall in love (this happens with him carrying her in his arms home, he giving her a ride in his stretch hummer , yes hummer n not limo home, and he massaging her leg on the way, and she making "those" noises on the way...those bole to "oh yeah....give it to me baby...oh yeah...deeper....oh yeah" kind of noises. they were of course grunts of pleasure...er....got from the releif of the sprain pain..u dirty minds...think straight...pretiy zinta hai yaar....thwadi bhabi hai woh )

anyway, so the train arrives, but no it doesnt, and they its late by another hour, so they (abhishek n preity) run around teh station lookin for each other (like in kumbh ka mela). they find each other. then they play a couple of games. preity shows abhishek her butterfly tatto on the upper part of her bosom (oh yeah baby) and gets one done for abhishek also.

then finally the train arrives. they go their ways. exchange numbers. and then receive the people they were waiting for. who are not their fiance`s. so it turns out they both are not engaged, but fall in love with each other.

now preity calls her gay friend for help, and abhishek seeks help from his godfather habib bhai (habib bhai keeps giving some great dialogues....like "god made man, tailor made gentleman" and also "paris se mere liye perfume la, mai khusbu maarta hoon") anyway, after some reels, preity and abhishek decide to turn up in jharokha nights with their fiance`s. jharokha night is a punjabi dance competition with sardars all around. now preity gets bobby deol, who works in her gay friend's optical store to come as her boyfriend (she convinces him by jumpin on his lap and shouting rape rape and recording that one security camera) abhishek brings lara dutta, who is a prostitute named layla.

now the first prize in the dance competition is a trip for two to hollywood. both the couples dance for 15 minutes on the same songs in different musics (see, this is a romantic musical of types...but very different from the hollywood types, much more sleeker). finally abhishek wins, then next day bobby and lara, after "doing it" fall in love, and abhishek goes n proposes to preity, and they kiss on the road.

now the movie is over, but it cant be over without me describing amit ji's role. he has an epic role, never before performed by anyone in the history of indian film industry. his costume, i cant describe. and he is like the sootradhar of the movie, without a single dialogue, but keeps coming from time to time singing the jhoom barabar jhoom. and in the end, as i mentioned he laughs when fixing up the loose ends.

after 3 odd hours of jhoom barabar jhoom, u actually do realize the amitabh is laughing at u, for spending 150 bucks on a friday night to come n see the movie (beech mein mai smokin room jaane ke liye utha tha, lekin saalo ne woh bhi band kar diya)

lekin its the same funda. jab continuously koi peeche se bamboo karega, tab pehle to dard hoga, phir dard hi khatam nahi hoga, par halka halka maja bhi aayega. hence i strongly recommend u go n watch this movie in a hall. its like my college (engg) ka 1st yr mess. it had a deadly combination. mallu food in coconut (read cecenut) oil, and with the occasional worms to add to the delight. uske baad i could eat anywhere in india (china is an expection). sae for this movie. yeh movie hall mein dekh lo, kabhi crib nahi maroge phir kisi movie ke baare mein :o)

a typical day in hong kong

2007-05-29T19:48:00.000+05:30

morning 7:30 AM. alarm rings.

now i havent taken a mobile connection here. and i am thanking myself for that. just yesterday one of my many bosses asked me for my mobile number. n there shone a smile on my face. had to hide it quickly to a sad expression, one showing, i understand u need to call me for work man, but want can i do, go f**k urself :o)

ok. so the alarm rings on the laptop. so i wake up after 15 mins ie 7:45, n shut down lappie.
now in 15 mins, i have a choice of brushing teeth, wearing the same pant i have been wearing for 3 weeks now, and one of the 4 shirts i have been rotating and wearin for 4 odd weeks now :o), wash my head, smoke a cig and limp my way to office (the revenge of the corn :o( )
OR
sit down at the pot and ask the chicken curry to leave my rectum alone

i usually chose the former since i have to reach office by 8:30 for a conf call. shit can wait (and in hong kong shit does wait :o))
so i reach office by 8:30. attend the call, act as if i am attentively jotting down something, leave, go down 42 floors for a fag, build pressure, come back n crap (ah wat a releif).
one more reason i donot like this place, how can people live without washing their arses after crapping. i use up almost a quarter of a toilet paper bundle wiping my ass, and still it feels yuck (ek secret batata hoon, room par to shower se dho leta hoon...muwahahaaahaha)

haan, after these nitya kram comes the "work" part. format ppts, copy stuff from ppts to word and vice versa, make market updates, work on the summer project. the day moves on.
its interspersed by cig breaks. oh, the everyday lunch happens at mc donald's. wapas aake ....
she holds me down. i fight back up. she titilates me. shows me beautiful "things", i try to resist, but finally give in. after all i am a mere mortal. i also have desires and "needs"

The need to sleep is one of the primary needs of mortals like u n me, wouldnt u agree?

haan, the battle rages on, and finally the cig comes to the rescue. again the trip down the storeys and back up.

shaam hote hi dimaag kaam karna kam kar deta. coz i start waiting for night, where i can go back to my room, and wait for another day to get over :o)
now usually work comes in the evenings also (have been having work for the last two days actually)
but then again its a battle. whether it can beat me, or can i beat it. i keep lookin at the direction of all the bosses who usually give me work. are they coming my way?
if they are, is there that sarcastic smile in their eyes which say, yeh le bhos****ke, ab ch**wa apni shaam, muwahahahahahahaha
or are they just coming to kill time with the boss sitting next to me
or are they walking too busy to talk
or have they forgotten about the work they were to give me
or are they goin to the loo or to a meeting or something

now if the last two scenarios arise, i hv a choice
to wait or to escape from alcatraz

have chosen both many times :o)
for eg, one of my bosses takes a small pouch with him whenever he goes to shit. so when i see him taking that pouch, n if he was the one who was supposed to give me work (both conditions must hold, coz his shtting in the evening wont help me unless he is supposed to give me some work, which i can escape thanks to mother nature), then i again i have 3 choices

1. go and jam the toilet door so that he does not come back for half n hour n then i leave without feeling guilty
2. escape the moment he leaves (can be sure a person in the i banking sector, going to the loo wont come back in 4-5 mins)
3. wait for mother nature to be done with him, n then let him do me

have never tried the first alternative (would like to try it sometime...would have been so much easier had the doors had bolts both ways....lekih yaha to toilet me bhi security access lagta hai)

have definitely tried option 2 & 3 :o)

now if i choose to wait, sometimes i get work immediately, or i wait for nothing for an hour or two, no work, boss leaves, n then i curse myself for not choosing alternative 3 or much better alternative 1
on other days, get work, work till 9 or 10 odd, brain dies completely due to the "challenging" nature of the work, and usually beat it by 10:30 or 11

in room, come back, take a bath once in 2-3 days :o), switch on the tv, eat chicken curry n rice, n then sit down on the internet :o) (just like now)

now its anybody's guess which kind of day was today :o)

adios

Let it go

2007-05-27T16:30:00.000+05:30

She stood there, listening to him. He was shouting at the top of his voice, right in the middle of the road. People were turning around and watching them, no one stopping, but many of them with a smirk on their faces, getting satisfaction of the fact that here is a more screwed up couple than we are.

She had known John for 5 years now. They used to study together in college. Soon they became more than just friends. They used to enjoy each other’s company. He was very intelligent and usually topped the class. She was an average student, but always on the forefront of co-curricular activities. They made a sweet couple.

After college, they joined a small firm. It was campus recruitment and they had celebrated on getting into the same firm. It would help them stay close and gradually, she thought, decide on when they want to settle down. They used to meet for lunch, discuss their bosses, their work, the compliments they received, everything. She didn’t really enjoy the work, but then his company kinda compensated for boring hours in office.

In a couple of months, her performance at work began to fall. If you donot like the work, how can u excel in it. So she decided to join another firm working in the field of her interest. She quit her job. During those few days, where she didn’t have a job, John supported her. But his attitude became a bit patronizing. She tried not to notice it, but it always kept pinching her at the back of her mind.

After running in and out of interviews for a month or so, she got 3 final offers with great pay packages. Of the 3, she chose the one with the most interesting job profile. The pay wasn’t the best of the 3, but then after her experience in the last job, she knew wat she wanted.

Her new job was amazing. It involved long hours, but then the work was so interesting that she never thought bout the continuous hours of intense work. But while, she worked so hard, she always found time to spend with John.

Soon, powered by her motivation to work, great performance, and good people skills, she rose up the corporate ladder fast. She represented her firm in a few television interviews too. It became more and more difficult to find time to spend with John, but she didn’t want to lose something so beautiful. She still found time.

John, in the meanwhile, had stagnated in his job. He hadn’t moved, nor had he tried to advance in his job. Apart from the one single promotion, which the firm had to give him due to the number of years he spent there, he had no achievement to his credit. When he went out on dinner with her, he always insisted that he pay. He could not take it that she pay for him. After all, he thought, he had been the one who saw her through her tough times. Had it not been for him, she would not have survived. So he could not stand the fact that in their circle, in office, he began to be known as the guy who hangs around with Mary Le Anne. What? Mary Le Anne, the pretty high-powered executive of Power Enterprises! Boy, is he lucky.

Every couple fights, but their fights began to get nastier now. He would accuse her of adultery, picking up incidents when someone dropped her home from an official party. She tried her best to not lose her calm, but occasionally her composure too gave way. But she believed that things would work out fine. After all, she thought, love would see them through these hard times. And she loved John.

Time passed, and John grew bitter. He always used to come back home early from office, since there no on really gave him any work. He sat in front of the tv, till she was back, and then picked up a quarrel with her. She started spending more and more time in office, even on weekends, just to avoid another quarrel with John.

That day, they decided to go out for a movie. She had thought, ok, lets start all over again, let me try my best. After all, its John. I love him. After some initial grumping, John agreed. They went out. After the movie, when they were walking out, she met a few colleagues. She introduced them to John. He didn’t want to talk to them. So he went aside for a smoke. While he smoked, she and her colleagues were laughing. He heard his name being mentioned somewhere. He could take it no more. He walked up to her, grabbed her arm, pulled her away, and started shouting at her. He accused her of making fun of him in front of her colleagues. He called her names and accused her of adultery, right there, in the middle of the road, in front of everyone.

She stood there, listening to him, as he shouted. His words just bounced back from her ears. After sometime, when he stopped shouting, somewhat pacified by her silence, she walked up to him, looked him in the eye, and walked away. That same day, she moved out to her friend’s place.

John called many times, but she never picked up the phone. She didn’t want to listen to him. She knew it was her mistake. Her mistake that she was the one who always tried to make up after the quarrel; that she was the one who juggled between office and work to find time for her and John; that she was the one who didn’t know when it was enough and to let go.

She wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. She had decided to let go.

Gunda : See it, find God

2007-05-23T20:22:00.000+05:30

I was lost. I was wandering in the maze of life, not really knowing wat is it that I want. I was just living my life away, having no idea what the supreme truth is. Till the moment of truth came. There was a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, and I saw God.

Yes. God himself had appeared on earth, to end all evil and make this world a better place to live in. And then the stars started to shine. My towels out here hardly dry. I have tried all kinds of cigs here. Sasti daru nahi peeni chahiye. Placements are just around the corner in NIT calicut. Gtalk is great.

Confused? Feel lost? Feel like cursing? Watch Mithun Da's epic movie Gunda. Its wat everyone needs. Everyone should watch it. In fact everyone must watch it. There are no two ways about it. U JUST HAVE TO WATCH IT. Like they say, neki kar aur kuye mein daal, wiase hi gunda dekh, ho jaa malamaal. Wah, I too started talking in rhymes (though it does not make sense)

Gunda is India's answer to Shakespeare's MacBeth. 2 hours of two liners, poetry at its best. And that too all embedded in an epic movie.

Without further adieu, lemme do wat God wanted me to do. Tell u about this movie. Enlighten u.

Gunda is about powerful characters with even more powerful introductions.

The bad guys:

Lambu Aata: Mera naam hai lambu aata, deunga usko maut ka chaata
Bulla: Mera naam hai bulla, rakhta hoon hamesha khulllaaaaa (bulla always ends his speech with a stretch to the last word)
Chutiya (Its not chutiya as in chutiya, its chutiya as in a ponytail which is vertical on the top of the head): Mera naam hai chutiya, acche acche ki khada karta hoon khatiya
Pote: Mera naam hai pote, jo apne baap ke bhi nahi hote
Ibu Hatela (this is the best): Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela, maa meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitaan ka chela. Kyu? (Pointing down there) Khayega Kela?

There is a gang war going on. Lambu aata and Bulla. Brothers are killed. Sisters are raped (In this movie, every woman is raped, right from villain's sister to hero's sister. But heroine is not raped, she is just stabbed to death).
Haan, have to tell u the dialogue which Bulla "recites" when his sister is raped and killed:
Munni? Meri behan munni?
Accha toh tu mar gayi?
Lambu ne tujhe lambaa kar diya?
Maachis ki teeli ko khambaa kar diya ??
Arre maine toh tere liye kitne ladke dekhe the ..
Jo tujhe accha lagta wahin tera pati banta ..
Magar tu toh katailaa gurdaa .. yaani ki .. murda ho gayi .. ??

Oh! forgot to mention. Pote did give an awesome dialogue on the beginning of the gang war.
Zalzala jaag utha hai. Ab laashein aise girengi jaise chote bachein ki nunni se peshaab"

Coming back to the epic blockbuster, to take revenge, Bulla and his gang corner Lambu. He offers his "sexual" services to Bulla, and also offers to become a eunuch and dance for Bulla for his life. But Bulla, simmering with anger, kills him, not because he killed his sister, but because he "raped" and killed her (He says that he understands in his business, ma n behan do get killed all the time)

Then Bulla's man Shetty kills the minister. The minister is with around 20 police officers. Shetty walks in with a knife, puts the knife on minister's neck. police go back. he stabs minister. police shocked. shetty picks up lungi and runs. police run after him. shetty runs to helicopter.

DHISHUM.
God enters. Mithun da. and delivers his gawd level dialogue.
Mai hoon jurm se nafrat karne wala. gareebo ke liye chiraag. gundon ke liye jwala.

police apprehend shetty. n this is where bad blood starts between bulla and shankar (mithun da).
Oh btw, mithun da is a coolie. no not a railway coolie. a coolie dressed as a railway coolie, who is omnipresent in the airport and also in the ship yard (anybody's guess what he tows...oh god..forgive me..i didnt mean to make fun of the great great mithun da...forgive me...thank u)

neway, now mithun da's hawaldar dad is beaten up. bulla sends a charming guy and after one song, she is married away to him, who in turn is a pimp who supplies girls (he works for another bigger pimp Lucky Chikna).
So now the napunsak Chutiya eats a super strong viagra and rapes mithun da's sister to death. mithun da sees him dispose the laash. So he vows revenge on Bulla and gang. After his father is also killed, he fixes Bulla and gang's date of death over the next 10 days with this legendary dialogue : Ek, do, chaar, che, dus. BUS.

Then Mithun da goes on a killing spree. Killings happen in diverse locations, ranging from graveyard to shipyard to public toilet n so on. I would like to mention Ibu hatela was driven into a grave with 2 shots to the head by mithun da. He just went into the ground like a nail into soft wood. n then mithun da chopped off is head :o) (its wasnt gory, it wasnt gory, it was justice)

in between, mithun da also kills lucky chikna, the big pimp, who has a brothel of beds suspended from nowhere with ropes, and everyone is "doing it" openly on those beds. So Mithun da is just executing God's will by destroying Lucky Chikna.

Oh in between, mithun da finds an infant on the road, who is "haseena ka paseena", and is Bulla's illegitimate son (Bulla killed Haseena when he knew she was pregnant...please dont ask any questions....u would be questioning mithun da)

Also, Mithun da's heroine is killed (not raped for god's sake. she is the heroine). Bulla and chutiya stab her on the road.

Then Mithun da cuts off chutiya's "organ". And chutiya dies.

In the last scene, bulla comes with an army of auto rickshaws. guns. rocket launchers. etc. But justice prevails. Bulla is terminated by God Mithun da. And then mithun da says the dialogue:
Tera naam hai bulla. Marne ke baad bhi reh jayega tera mooh khulaaa.

So justice prevails. God's tenth avtaar, Kalki avtaar, is none other than Mithun da in the form of shankar.

For God's sake (literally), u have to watch this movie.

Cup-o-Noodles

2007-05-19T21:21:00.000+05:30

Ok. My first shot at short stories. Here it goes :o)

He sat back in his small boat and sipped on his beer. It was a beautiful night. The sky was filled with stars and the breeze was gently blowing across his face.

Today was the anniversary. 7 years back, he had started his small shop in Stanley market, selling paintings. Paintings, imitations, all kinds of stuff, from all Chinese artists and painters, contemporary and medieval. His shop wasnt one of those which rustled with customers all the time, but he sold enough to make a good living. He had married 4 yrs back and had a beautiful loving wife. He planned to buy a small house far away from the city, but that would have to wait.

But today, sitting alone on his boat, he wasnt thinking of his shop.

12 years earlier:
The boy completed his art school with flying colours. He stood first in almost every painting competition. But it wasnt about winning or money that made him paint. When he stood in front of the canvas, felt the texture with his fingers, he could visualize wat was going to be in his mind. He lost count of time, hunger, everything.
Painting was his first love.

He set up a small studio in his rented room. From his savings from working part time in Mc Donald's, he bought canvases and colours. He had decided. He will paint for himself, and sell only to people who admired his art. He got himself a small roadside stall in Stanley market. The idea of selling his art on the roadside stall wasnt appealing, but he was sure in a few years, he would be able to afford a nice shop. He didnt use water colours. He despised it. He used oil colours on a canvas of different kind. It was much more difficult and more expensive than water painting. But it was his passion he was investing in. His love. And soon, he wouldnt have to think about money since his paitings would fetch the right price.

He sold his first painting. It was was small piece of art, showing a chinese girl, lonely in her garden. It was richly coloured and the expression in the eyes of the girl was what showed her loneliness. It was beautiful, and he felt it was one of his better creations. The buyers were an English couple. They bargained with him for almost half and hour. And finally bought the painting for half the price he had quoted. He would have never sold it. But they were the 4th set of customers and the others were not even willing to pay half the price. The landlady had asked for rent almost 3 times and the look on her face told him that there wont be a 4th time.
When he got the money, there was a mixed feeling. One of happiness and sorrow. Happiness, because this was his first income from living his passion. Sorrow, because he didnt appreciate people bargaining for his paintings. Didnt he put in hours of sleepless nights and hungry days to create these beautiful creations? But he knew times would change.

After paying the rent, he had just enough money to buy his regular food for weeks now. Cup-o-noodles. He didnt even recognize the taste anymore. But then, all this would change. He knew it.

Days went by. Weeks. Years. Everytime he sold his paintings for a price lesser than they deserved, he felt he had betrayed himself. He felt these people are not here to appreciate the art. They just wanted something to hang up on the walls of their living rooms. He felt deceived. But times would change.

It had been 5 yrs. He still lived in the same room. After paying for the rent, and for the canvas and colours, he had just enough to survive. No patron had ever come his way who really appreciated his art. This wasnt something they taught in art school. All those prizes he had won. All the applause, the appreciation...was that a lie? He sat in his small stall thinking.
That night he closed his stall, and walked back to his room. It was a very silent night. He had heard the shopkeeper of the next stall saying there is going to be a storm. It was a long walk back to his room. He reached the store where we bought his groceries from. He knew his way well inside the shop. He always walked the same way to the cup-o-noodles rack. But today wasnt like always. He walked around the shop. Not really looking at anything. He didnt want to go to the cup-o-noodles rack.

He walked out of the shop. He walked to the ferry piers. The wind was strong. It was beating against his face. There was a restaurant just across the street. The aroma of delicious dim shum filled the air. He made a decision. He ran to his room. Folded up the canvas, put the brushes and paints in a bag. It was enough. He had had enough. He walked back, fast, determined, to the ferry pier. One last look at his love. And without a word, he threw it, with all his might, far into the sea.

He stopped painting. He got the imitations of other paintings, paintings that would look beautiful in the living room. He quoted high prices, and then brought them down to make a nice margin. Soon he moved into a new shop.

Today, 7 yrs later, he sat thinking about that day when he had given up his passion. He had let the world take away from him his first love. He had compromised.

He wanted to take a walk. He walked along the ferry piers. He didnt know where to. He just wanted to walk. He came across his regular grocery store. He didnt have to buy anything. But still he went in. He wandered around the store. He stopped in front of a rack. He stood there for a minute or two, picked up a cup-o-noodles, paid and left.

vellagiri at its best...

2007-05-17T07:20:00.000+05:30

Haan.
So this is a historic post. Coz I am writing it from office, where I regularly experience the “hectic I banking life” :o)
There is a lot to write. Let me just write it as curious incident(s) during the day time, and night time, and weekdays, and weekends :o)

Ok. Last week, on Tuesday I had no work the whole day. So I thought, I will leave at 6:45. I was watching the time on my system. At 6:43, there was a smile on my face. I was getting ready to leave. At 6:44, there was work on my desk :o(
Ek minute saala aadmi ki g***d maar leta hai :o)
Next day i took no chances. Left at 6:30 :o)

Last week was a very vella week. Neway, Saturday had the alum meet. Was nice. Met wimwian’s my batch who are in hong kong, and also ex wimwians who are in hong kong. Wat a coincidence. The bad part was whiskey wasn’t unlimited. The good part was sparkling wine was. Hence 8 glass ke aas paas chada li aur phir…..tera tera tera suroooooooor :o)

Sunday ko mai aur GD Stanley gaye. It’s a pretty beautiful place. Shopped in the flea market. Utilized GD’s 10x optical zoom camera to the fullest on the beach. Kleevo missed the trip. For reasons, ask him why :o)

Stanley market is the oldest market in Hong Kong. Flea market hai. I bought a sword (souvenier :o)), a small glass enclosed “flour” doll, some hand bags for mom, and also a painting. The painting shopping was interesting. GD was thinking of buying it. Then I also pitched in. The shopkeeper was a painter himself, who had quit painting or rather selling his paintings 7 yrs back. He said it was because he could not bargain with customers for his own work. And since he could not, therefore his sales was pretty less. He said, could not eat cup-o-noodles for too long (trivia: we survived on cup-o-noodles for almost 2 weeks after coming here, till we discovered chicken curry n rice @ 7 eleven, which is a convenience store). He also showed us an album with his creations and awards etc. And after all this, I bargained with him for 20 dollars :o)

Stanley beach was beautiful. Here all the beaches are beaches for bays I guess. Therefore not the India kind of beaches with waves and all. But rather like lakes. GD’s high zoom camera was aptly used to capture the beauty of a few jal paris :o). Also on the way from the bus, we could see Repulse bay with windsurfers painting the sea :o) acha tha :o)

This week, well Monday, as usual was busy with all the market updates. Tuesday also relatively busy. I had seriously important work, like making sure the formatting and alignment of text in ppts was correct to the third decimal. And also copying text from word to powerpoint. Kaafi challenging kaam hai. Seriously yaar. When I am given such work, in which I am not at all good (ask my groupies in college I never work on beautification or alignment of ppts n stuff), performance and efficiency goes down the drain.

Tuesday was also patched up on a conference call on some deals. Dopahar ka time tha. Just khaana khe ke aaya tha. 1 hour long call. I was awake for 30 mins. Was woken up by my buddy sitting next to me, also on the call, at 45 minutes, fell asleep again at 50 min :o)

Neway, yesterday ie Wednesday was totally vella. I slept 2 courses. Once in the afternoon. And once in the evening, from 4:30 odd to 6. And when I sleep, my head oscillates. And people notice.
Jo bhi notice karta hai uske m********* (the number of stars may be less than the abuses)

Before I end, I must tell u that sound can move across corners and also through creeps etc. how do I know? I can hear “grunts” of pleasure coming from one of the rooms (above, below, right or left) almost every other night. And the moment I hear them, I reduce the volume of the tv, and enjoy “vicariously” :o)
Also the other day, I could hear a couple fighting, and then the girl started crying. Actually it was nice (ok I am becoming a sadist) to hear all the abuses, and I am not sure, but the whole issue was some “intellectual” discussion (not joking). Damn!

Signing out. So now u have read a historic post. Feel free to post ur comments :o)
Adios

the week(end) that was :o)

2007-05-06T15:28:00.000+05:30

i would write bout the whole week, but then the 1st 5 days ie monday to friday would hardly take ne space. coz they went like, morning, conf call, whole day, jobless, evening got work, left late at around 11 from office.
just one difference, had a presentation workshop. was awesome. learnt some new things. hope i can put that into practice :o)

ok, coming to the weekend. saturday morning i volunteered in a english speaking or rather facilitating workshop for chinese children, being organized by an organization n my company. it was nice. then in the afternoon, was very very bored. then in the evening, went out and had indian dinner with sagar and dastak. nice food. also came to know of an alumni meet which is coming up in a week. shld be nice.
then today we went to lan tau island. first we took the metro to tung chung (i guess that is how they spell it). then a long queue to the cable car. then the cable car. the 20-25 minute ride was awesome. the island (lan tau) is the largest island in hong kong and the most sparsely populated. its full of hills. from the cable car, we could see people trekking through the hills. it was awesome. i hope i get to go back to india n go out some treks. i like the physical exertion, were the body says no more, and the mind says, thats it man, keep going. its just exilerating.
neway, we reached nong ping village. its a nice place. some magic show was going on, but in chinese. hence dropped it. neway, we moved to the large buddha statue. its a short walk of stairs up to the statue. on the way, it was the usual "bird watching" going on. pammi introduced me to the usage of army language to communicate. gyarah baje dekh ie at 11'o clock. that is the direction. n here in hong kong one can speak aloud in hindi and no one would understnd. just that if an indian family happens to pass by, they would get shocked :o)
neway, we went to the Buddha. the statue was awesome. the view was better. far away we could see the sea with small islands, covered with forests. it was just "gawd level" :o)
then we took a bus to the ferry, which was also reall near the "beach". it was really beautiful. but the beach was like a beach for the bay, so no real waves. n not many people. but the whole area was so beautiful. totally different from mainland hongkong. there are these houses just beside the beach, beautiful place, benches on the beach. then there is a trail which goes up the hills right beside the beach. the trail takes u different small small beaches. then at one place, there is a restaurant which as a small beach of its own. between the jungles, there are houses. i was on my way to discover bay, which i guess is a bit far from the beach we went. oh, forgot to mention, the others ie kleevo, pammi n tomi left. so i went out alone on my trek. walking for 15-20 mins, i reached a small beach. there, i sat and enjoyed a smoke in solitude. then i thought lets go to discover bay. but then the next in the next 5 minutes one of my biggest beliefs in life was about to broken. that dog is man's best friend. i walked. came across one of those friday the 13th kind of shacks. i thought i will just walk past. then i hear two barks. two big dogs come out, growling at me (can u beleive it, me innocent guy) n they started walking towards me. i quietly turned around and walked (bachpan mein suna tha ki kutta bhauke to bhaagne ka nahi). aisi life mein bahut kam baar phati hai. dum kutte ki hoti hai.....lekin daba ke mai bhaaga. hajmola ho gaya tha yaar poora.
neway, was damn thirsty. so thought will come back and have a cola in mc d's. but came to know the ferry to central was leaving. so i boarded it. fell asleep. but till i was awake, the view was good. the waters were calm, surrounded by hills. it was nice. reached central. then finally back to room.

nice weekend. just that tomoro again the week starts :o(
but then that would be one more week passed to return to india :o)

bataas in hong kong - part 2

2007-05-01T17:52:00.000+05:30

so here i am posting again. again the topic is hong kong (anyone surprised). ok its not really hong kong. its my experiences here :o)

neway, my work now involves making market updates. these are.....updates :o) that is the only way i can describe them :o) the other day i made 5+ updates. one of my objectives for summer training is "understanding and gaining proficiency" in making market updates. i sure am on the right path :o)

also went to oceanpark the other day. its a...park....like essel world less the water theme park. the rides are really short. there is something called a raging river. its around1-2 minutes long. and the raging part is.....2 seconds. coz the rest of the time, the boat (the vessel) just moves along peacefully on a path, just to reach a last point of 2 seconds where we just fall down a small incline. that is good. but then the worst part is u have to stand in a queue for around 30 mins for those 2 seconds :o) (china's population is the largest in the world -- bataas fact file)
so in ocean park we spend around 6.5 hours, of which 4+ hrs were in queues :o)
hence i am dropping the plan to go to disneyland, coz i like the rides n stuff, but standing in a queue for more than 2/3rd of the time is not my cup of tea.
also they have these cameras which are placed at points where they can capture the adrenalin rush (eg. for raging river its placed just when the fall starts). then u can buy each photo for 80 HK Dollars (that is 80*5.5 rs...plz do the calculation urself, i cant find my calculator right now)
neway, there was a cable car journey which was awesome (45 minutes waiting time). u can see the south china sea from there. awesome view. great ride.
there are also dolphins which never jumped out of water. there was a nice bird show. things like that.
but essel world was awesome. i went with deka, munch and lakshmi karat. it was good yaar. all the rides were empty. no rush. and water park was just great. oh i just got nostalgic. i also remember our comp sci trip to athirapalli and then to some park in kerela (water park). it was good yaar. we were the only guys who were in trunks. all the other guys were in pant n shirt (mallus ;o)) n we all ran in a queue across the park. everyone was staring at us. and when we entered the queue for dashing cars, many ladies left the queue (we did nothing to cause that...promise). chesty did not open his baniyan. so wasnt allowed in the dashing cars lest his wet baniyan led to a electric shock :o)

he he...neway...coming back to hongkong, i had a chinese lunch, called dim shum ( i think that is wat its called). its had with chop sticks. but i had it with a soup spoon and a chop stick and a fork and a spoon. khaana aisa ki zinda aadmi mar jaye. aur yeh mai keh raha hoon jo ki kuch bhi kha leta hai (NIT Calicut guys, remember A mess ka khaana :o)). yaar yeh chini log aisi ajeeb ajeeb cheeze khaate hai.....ki badboo se hi aadmi mar jaye. i had bought a tin of "grass jelly". i thought its a delicacy. its actually grass, in the sense green grass. ek chamach khaya, next moment, phek diya :o) neway, that is that. yesterday bought a box of frozen rice, pork n fish. microwave mein daala, aisi badboo ki stop karke machli phekna pada

neway, that is that. othr than that, aur kya. haan, wished papa happy birthday yesterday. today went to an indian/pakistani shopping area (pretty shady place) and got mtr veg pulao (37 rs pulao costs 90 INR here)

haan, the other wanted to go out for dinner, could not find anyone :o( kya zindagi hai :o(
haan, had drinks the other day. there was this company get together. waha jaake 5 glass wine piya. mast maza aaya. phir bahar aake college ke dost mile. unke saath phir ek do peg chadaya. acha tha. since then havent drank. i go to this supermarket everyday, see the drinks bottles and then come back. why dont i buy them, coz then i will start drinking in my room, which may lead to an excessive liking for drinks and then like cigs, which will anyway kill me at the rate i smoke, i will have another nemesis in the form of alcohol :o)

so that is that. nothing more actually. 40 odd days more here (less than that actually). so just waiting for them to get over soon and returning to india.

a highly exciting day

2007-04-25T22:27:00.000+05:30

reached office at 8:30 (Just in time)
Attended mandatory attendance presentation from 8:30 to 9:40....some funda on structured prods....understood nothing
9:50 to 3:15 in afternoon: read news, slept, ate, asked people for work to be refused, read news, pretended to read mag, slept.......
3:15 to 3:25: did work
3:25 to 5:30 odd: again did nothing....waiting for time to get over
5:30 to 5:40: did work
5:50 : escaped from office

n from then till now, am watching tv and browsing

great day i must say :o)