Active Listening
U must have heard of this term isn’t it? Be it in the induction into a company (IT mainly) or preps for mgmt, or in a mgmt school, or for preps of GDs etc for placements…somewhere or the other we all of have usually heard of this term.
The other day, I was reading (made to read basically coz we have to some readings to complete for each day) on the topic of listening and some barriers to listening. There it was written (as I remember) that active listening involves listening to the other person in a non-evaluative way, and trying to look at the other person’s point of view i.e. empathize with the person.
This is when I realized I hardly do that. Asked myself why? The evaluative thingy comes into the picture. We tend to evaluate or infer the meaning of what the other person is saying i.e. we try to read between the lines. But then another reason is that we also consciously or unconsciously are scared of being changed.
Now some of us may argue how can listening to someone change u. It can. I am a case in point. There are very few people who have been able to bring about changes in me due to what they are or what values they stand for. Most of the times, I feel I need to change, and then in someone I see that this is what I would want to be in terms of this value and work towards it. But then me seeing a value or a characteristic in someone and then thinking that I would be a better person if I too were like that is very unusual.
But then I have changed like that to a large extent over the last one year. And I guess active listening is one of the main reasons of that. When you really want to listen, not infer, just listen, not evaluate, just listen, not sympathize, but respect the person for what he/she is, then you would ask yourself, why is it that you listen to this person so intently, why do u respect this person so intently.
That is when you realize that you see in the other person aspects, traits, which would like to see in yourself. U see or feel that you want to be a better person, just by listening to or being with that person. I believe that is one of the best things that can happen, and u should cherish the friendship of such a person for all your life.
But don’t forget, without active listening, it wouldn’t have been possible :o)
The other day, I was reading (made to read basically coz we have to some readings to complete for each day) on the topic of listening and some barriers to listening. There it was written (as I remember) that active listening involves listening to the other person in a non-evaluative way, and trying to look at the other person’s point of view i.e. empathize with the person.
This is when I realized I hardly do that. Asked myself why? The evaluative thingy comes into the picture. We tend to evaluate or infer the meaning of what the other person is saying i.e. we try to read between the lines. But then another reason is that we also consciously or unconsciously are scared of being changed.
Now some of us may argue how can listening to someone change u. It can. I am a case in point. There are very few people who have been able to bring about changes in me due to what they are or what values they stand for. Most of the times, I feel I need to change, and then in someone I see that this is what I would want to be in terms of this value and work towards it. But then me seeing a value or a characteristic in someone and then thinking that I would be a better person if I too were like that is very unusual.
But then I have changed like that to a large extent over the last one year. And I guess active listening is one of the main reasons of that. When you really want to listen, not infer, just listen, not evaluate, just listen, not sympathize, but respect the person for what he/she is, then you would ask yourself, why is it that you listen to this person so intently, why do u respect this person so intently.
That is when you realize that you see in the other person aspects, traits, which would like to see in yourself. U see or feel that you want to be a better person, just by listening to or being with that person. I believe that is one of the best things that can happen, and u should cherish the friendship of such a person for all your life.
But don’t forget, without active listening, it wouldn’t have been possible :o)
Labels: me n myself
posted by Anurag at
6:02 PM
3 Comments:
yeah.. try doing that in first year chem class!
well..well ...well.. Good news that u r listening and not sleeping :) Btw, I've tagged you this time..check my latest post.
@sanjiv
yaar the post was on one to one conversations...who ever talked bout classes :o) 1st yr chem..or 2nd yr hardware classes ... ha ha
@ajith
thanks man....wil write bout my fav books :o) n the not sleeping part was for one to one conversations...some classes i cant keep my eyes open :o)
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