Adventure ride...

Was a ten day vacation i was on. But am not really going to go into details. Why? I myself find travelogues very boring. Kisi aur ne apne vacation mein kya kiya, mai kya karu padh ke :o)

So this post is about one of those many days. This day, we spent only travelling. But it wasnt any usual travel. It was travel during Holi. It was travel in Uttaranchal n UP during Holi.

So we decided we will leave Rishikesh for Amritsar via Delhi on 22nd. Theek hai. As always, the morning schedule was pushed by an hour. I went for breakfast to a near by dhaba, n things seems peaceful.

Hum nikle phir. Went to the bus stop in Vikram. No. I didnt use wrong grammar. We went IN vikram. Vikram is a large shared bhatbhati ie auto. Beech mein kisi badtameez ladke ne paani maara tha auto mein...lekin nahi laga...kaise lagta...kisi ki majaal ki anurag dutta par bina unki ijazat ke rang daale

So we reached the bus stop. One bus was moving and shouting Dilli dilli...
Titto said, we are lucky. So we sat. Soon 3-4 more people came. Apne saath vikram mein ek cute firang bhi thi, who also wanted to go to dilli. Humne socha...ab dilli door nahi :o)

Do kanyaye aayi. The most horrendous sense of dressing. Aur bhasha bhi JAT types.

Neway, the driver wsnt moving. So we asked, chalo bhaiya. Sahabji said, wont move till we get 20 passengers. We reasoned with him, offering him to buy two tickets each...saala JAT dimaag...kept saying some crap.
Next we started playing the role of getting passengers to the bus. Asked a few people here n there, convinced a few sadhus to take that bus upto haridwar, stopped a passenger from leaving the bus terminal n going
lekin saala jat dimaag driver came up with all crappy reasons to not go.

Then we asked a nearby taxi. The two horrendously dressed females also came along. We got a taxi. Then suddenly one of us (not me) thought we will take a vikram. Would be cheaper. We moved towards a vikram. Suddenly the whole taxi union was there. They chased the vikram away. On our way back to the original taxi, a private vehicle turned up which offered a ride cheaper. We put our luggage there. N then it happened. SPLASH. kisi harami bacche ne upar se vaar kiya. As the others were getting inside, SPLASH again. Doosra vaar. Teesra vaar.

Now suddenly taxi union leader comes again n takes keys of the private vehicle owner. He tells us, he will get us another taxi, but we cant take this one. So he gets us another one. A smiling, drenched driver of an ambassabor.
As we shifted our luggage, we were assaulted by holi colours again n again, always from the top. Finally we managed to move to the new vehicle. Me n bubba were in the front. Titto, coke n the two girls at the back. Now, first taxi (initially jisse baat huyi) returns n blocks our vhicle and shouts, mai nahi jaane doonga, madar c**d, mai nahi jaane doonga
He is pacified (maybe) and we take patli gali

We are happy and releived. But should we be? Of course not. Abhi to roller coaster ride baaki thi.
Our dear taxi driver was happily drunk, very drunk.
When did we know this? While driving, we suddenly turns to me, and says, Aap log student hai, jawaan hai, zindagi mein kisi se darne ka nahi..
He gives us his undivided attention as he says this, of course he means it. But then isnt he supposed to be lookin at the road n driving? But how could he do that, he has to give us the gyaan.

Car swerves. We say, bhaiya aage dekho. He says, ghabrieye mat, mai 27 saal se chala raha hoon gaadi.
Now n then, temple comes, he closes eyes n bows n prays. But car shouldnt stop. The show must go on. Now n then, he lights a beedi, using both hands to light it, looking down at the flame. But car should not stop. Show must go on.
Next piece of gyaan.
Aap padhe likhe log hai, lekin mai anpadh, lekin jab kabhi ladaii hoti hai, anpadh hi jeet ta, kyunki hum pet phaad ke maans nikaal lete hai , ha ha ha ha
Car swerves some more.
Another piece of insight into driver's life...hum bhagwaan ko nahi maante, bas mata pita ki pooja karte hai....later in the ride there is a Shiv ki moorti...he bows n says out aloud...shiv ji hamare pita hai...we come to bridge over ganga...he folds hands and says...ganga hamari mata hai...

In between, the girls behind are having some conversation saying, woh baaki sabhi taxi wale to poore piye huye the
Our man says, ismein kya hai, mai bhi piya hua hoon and he pulls out a 3/4th empty country liquor bottle from near the accelerator, and says, subah se pi raha hoon, ha ha ha ha. And suddenly says, ab mujhe nasha aa raha hai...as he says this, car swerves and hits a cycle...pata nahi cycle ka kya hua
The way he was driving, bubba shouted, bhaiya dheere chalao, and he suddenly reduced speed to 20, only to go back to around 80 in no time. mere to gote mooh mein aa gaye the.

After some more time of g**nd phat ride, we reached haridwar. Took a bus. Another highly uncomfortable ride, but chalta hai. I am totally fine with discomfort. koi khaas farak nahi padta.

From delhi, train to amritsar n the trip went on.
But that morning was a TOTAAAAL adventure (in hindsight of course :o))