Monday, August 14, 2006

first impressions......

i have always (for the last few months :o)) wanted to write something on first impressions and their impact and what i think bout them and bout my experiences with them
when i was in school i usually always paired up with the kind of people whom somewhere down the line i used to think i shldnt have grouped up with. it was based on first impressions. they were pretty impressive people in the sense that i felt comfortable with them but then gradually with time invariably the comfort level used to go down
happened even with my crushes. it was all based on first impressions. am not going to malign anyone out here coz one cannot say whose fault it was or rather how much each of the two parties are at fault in a breakup. what i am saying is that invariably in school and in college too i kinda initially liked the kind of people whom over time i grew uncomfortable with
the discomfort was in terms of psychology. i beleive i am a very strange person who acts pretty strangely on many occasions. maybe that is the reason that i could not gel with these individuals
but then the fact remains that on the basis of first impression i have usually made mistakes in identifying people
as far as crushes are concerned they stopped in 3-4th yr in college. i beleive at the age of 20-21 one should be mature enough to be able to take decisions which are beyond just crushes and at a more higher level. hence the next plunge i have taken has been after months of contemplation and thinking over n over n over n over it again n again n again n again
but then that is a totally different story, again a strange one. somehow the word strange refuses to part with me :o)
so we will leave that apart for more than one reasons
what i am saying is that with time i have learned to defer judgements, defer the impact of impressions to a later time when i actually can observe and decide wat a person is really like
happened again at wimwi. there is this guy whom initially came across as a realy arrogant and self centered and obnoxious kinda person (i think the words are too strong but then to visualize the person just use somewat weaker versions of the above adjectives n u can form the mental picture of the person). but then this time over i defered my judgement. and now i beleive (not think not feel but beleive) tht he is a good person and a nice friend.
i cant define how this change in "impression" came over. i cant define what his actions were to bring about this change of one's mental image. but then over time and interaction the above mentioned did change to present a really nice person
so what i am trying to drive at is many a time we make mistakes in judging people by the first impression
many a time we make mistakes by holding against people what they were at a previous period or point of time
i agree that it is not easy to undo what someone has done. it definitely is not. if someone screws my happiness then i am gonna make it a point to try n find some point in life where i screw his
but then the fact that someone had a wrong notion of me or i had a very different notion of someone at a point in the past, should not stop me from trying to identify and more importantly accept that maybe i wasnt right about that notion, maybe i did make an error, or if i didnt then maybe the person in quesiton has changed
i takes time to trust people, especially after a bad first impression
but then its not impossible, rather it should not be impossible. coz its we who make things possible or impossible
n personaly i feel that if i did make first impressions reign my feelings n decisions, then i beleive i would have been deprived of something...a feeling.... really beautiful in this life
n also some really good friends
if there is someone sitting up there watching.....thanks :o)

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7 Comments:

Blogger csy0182 said...

crushes stopped by 3-4th year in college???

dude , where was the 'maal' for crushes in college? ;)

7:54 AM  
Blogger Anurag said...

@chaos
who ever told u that i had crushes IN college :o)

2:42 PM  
Blogger Hitchhiker said...

Okie, a lil digression first, Sam and I were discussing bout education as a social mask, and how at the crunch moment, when things go wrong, its never education that decides your action, but rather what you innately are.
Its the same case, I think, with first impression. At later instants of time, when things go wrong,people tend to fall back on their first impressions for support. Its irrational, but I have seen lots of people doing it. Its good you can get over it :)
And one more point :), there's this study which says that first impressions guide your talks only during the first 7 meetings or so. After which you tend to form a rational opinion ;) So guess u have met that guy in wimwi more than 7 times ? :)

3:14 PM  
Blogger Anurag said...

i could not gather the context at all....it was all those books u have read speking.... :o)
but then as i said.....after some time......n like u also said...the rational approach starts taking precedence.....n u start thinking rationally :o)

3:18 PM  
Blogger csy0182 said...

:o :o omg! dude @ iima and aspiring iimite lady.. u people intent on taking psychology???

9:53 AM  
Blogger Anurag said...

@chaos
psychology is so interesting isnt it :o)

8:45 AM  
Blogger Hitchhiker said...

@chaos : Not psychology dude, its cognitive science...funde de rahi hun ;)

1:53 PM  

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