Blowing in the wind...
Imagine the following scenarios:
1. 3 or more people in the room. Someone farts. Its a silent killer. Ur nasal hair is on the brink of incineration. What do u do? U twitch ur nose, and gasp for air. Now no one knows who has farted. So some of the other people would also imitate u, while some would act as if nothing happened (how can they do that, this is chemical warfare we are taking about here?!!!!). Anyway, finally no one knows or accepts who did it.
2. 3 or more people in the room. U fart. U thank god that its a silent one. But then they are the one's which are most hazardous environmentally n biologically (hazard for the others in the room). U wait for sometime to see if someone twitches his/her nose. U dont want to be the first one to jump at acknowledging the smell and get caught in the act. But after a considerable time (considerable here is contextual) if no one twitches, u either let it go, or play the whistleblower n gasp for air, and might even blame someone else. At the end of it, no one gets caught or accepts the blame (coz u farted n no one knows that u farted, or even if someone has his/her doubts, no one can prove anything)
3. 2 people in the room. The other person farts. U r about to die of suffocation. U make a face, look at him, give one of those smiles which has "I know wat u did last minute" written all over it. U try to stand the smell, but if its too much, u walk out. Now the walking out excuse would depend on the bonding u share with the other person. If its strong, u shout a few abuses, accuse the person of attempted homicide/manslaughter (it might have been involuntary u see, gastrointestinal muscles has their own way of acting/reacting) and walk out. If its not that strong, say u have to go to someone else's room or for a smoke (u donot say that u r going to the restroom, else the other person, even though guilty might accuse u of the sin).
4. 2 people in the room. U fart. The atmosphere has become poisonous since its one of those farts which happen after a missed shit in the morning. U avoid the other person's gaze and just hope that he is gentleman enough to not react, and his lungs are strong enough to bear the brunt of ur gaseous onslaught.
"Exam in 1 hour" disclaimers apply to this post :o)
1. 3 or more people in the room. Someone farts. Its a silent killer. Ur nasal hair is on the brink of incineration. What do u do? U twitch ur nose, and gasp for air. Now no one knows who has farted. So some of the other people would also imitate u, while some would act as if nothing happened (how can they do that, this is chemical warfare we are taking about here?!!!!). Anyway, finally no one knows or accepts who did it.
2. 3 or more people in the room. U fart. U thank god that its a silent one. But then they are the one's which are most hazardous environmentally n biologically (hazard for the others in the room). U wait for sometime to see if someone twitches his/her nose. U dont want to be the first one to jump at acknowledging the smell and get caught in the act. But after a considerable time (considerable here is contextual) if no one twitches, u either let it go, or play the whistleblower n gasp for air, and might even blame someone else. At the end of it, no one gets caught or accepts the blame (coz u farted n no one knows that u farted, or even if someone has his/her doubts, no one can prove anything)
3. 2 people in the room. The other person farts. U r about to die of suffocation. U make a face, look at him, give one of those smiles which has "I know wat u did last minute" written all over it. U try to stand the smell, but if its too much, u walk out. Now the walking out excuse would depend on the bonding u share with the other person. If its strong, u shout a few abuses, accuse the person of attempted homicide/manslaughter (it might have been involuntary u see, gastrointestinal muscles has their own way of acting/reacting) and walk out. If its not that strong, say u have to go to someone else's room or for a smoke (u donot say that u r going to the restroom, else the other person, even though guilty might accuse u of the sin).
4. 2 people in the room. U fart. The atmosphere has become poisonous since its one of those farts which happen after a missed shit in the morning. U avoid the other person's gaze and just hope that he is gentleman enough to not react, and his lungs are strong enough to bear the brunt of ur gaseous onslaught.
"Exam in 1 hour" disclaimers apply to this post :o)
Labels: A note with a smile, arbit, bakarC, Bas Yun Hi, Time-pass
posted by Anurag at
7:40 AM
18 Comments:
Master of Fart Analysis :)
@ajith
ha ha ha ha...waiting for a boring exam in the morning can make u master of many things...fart analysis is just one of them :D
And i am still wonderin ..who farted ? ;) and i have this gut feeling it was you ;D *runs away*
@xeres
well...i have an option between being truthful and being defensive...i choose to be defensive...n hence my response to ur comment it...WHAT THE HELL
your research topic eh? what about extraneous factors like the absence of sutta in the morning *shitty* session affecting the rate of farts?
What about the mutter aloo sabji you tend to have the previous night?
And more important, what about the presence/absence of the female versions of homo sapiens in the vicinity?
Don't these need to be taken in account? :-)
@talli
hmm...u a blogger too...acha hai
n yes...i would have considered all that...were this a thesis as u mentioned...it was just a "breezy" thought early in the morning before exams :D
http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/newsid_6040000/newsid_6046900/6046962.stm
If cows can do it, so can you !!
@vinay
where DO u manage to get these news items man...n that too more than a year old
@anurag - anything for you dutta, anything...
@vinay
i knew i could count on u :P
New visitor to your blog...dude.
Refreshing post...a relief from all those bland posts. (And another relief that I was not there on the occasion of the fart.)
@deepak
hey ... wat took u so long :D
n dont be relieved man...u never know when someone is killing u silently :D
saala.. 'n all the while we were blaming mr shanks for the stink in the class..
3 post abt farting ("in public" is taken for granted , i assume).. u've an fixation on farting dude.. :d
dunno if anyone has seen the "Van Wilder" movie in which Kal Penn gets blown in the face by an exotic dancer 'n the ensuing dialogue
@sanjiv
nope man...u got it wrong...my posts are ramblings of a victimized soul...not confessions of a dangerous one :D
Sanjiv, i think u got ppl mixed up... that's gondu u r refering to! ;-)
so which one happened? full of gas before the exam! ha ha ha ha!
@sanjiv
see...talli would know well bout gondu's fiery expulsions
@talli
totally agree with u :o)
@zee
u need all the gas u can get for exams...waha jaake paper mein bhi to gas hi maarna padta hai :D
"talli would know well"??? hmm i guess they were intimately close.. hopefully talli has changed his ways after a year in xlri :D
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