Adventures of Anurag Dutta

There was Don Quixote (hope i got the spelling right :D)...n then there was Anurag Dutta

This is bout just one adventure...but then the usual usage of adventure of a person is plural...hence i am also using plural...do u have a problem...jaake apni (*#$(#* (# * (i hardly use abuse nowadays :P)

Okie...so wat was the adventure that made a very busy management consultant leave his hectic daily schedule and come to bloggerville against all common sense

It was a visit...to where...to the ladies restroom :D

Now...2 points...this wasnt my first time in a ladies washroom...
n second point....i wasnt alone in the washroom :o)

A bit of history first....when did Anurag Dutta first visit a ladies washroom...
it was final yr of engineering....
drinking...drinking...drinking...
anurag dutta knocked out....total knocked out
in engineering...anurag dutta dont black out when drunk....anurag dutta puke
n anurag dutta dont know where he is....
so after drinking....friends feel hungry....so they take anurag dutta to another hotel...currently anurag dutta forget the name of the hotel
so anurag dutta feel like puking...but anurag dutta being anurag dutta...wont puke in the open as in wont make place dirty...so anurag dutta need to go to the washroom to puke
so anurag dutta get up...n walk towards wash room...friend follow (i guess)...anurag dutta wont take support...he himself go n enter washroom....n puke
friend tries hard to take him away...but anurag dutta say...jab tum log yaha se nikal rahe hoge...mujhe bol dena...mai aa jaunga...
friend scared....this is malluland...this is conservative hotel....n anurag dutta in ladies washroom....

thankfully anurag dutta n friends leave unscathed n reach hostel....


cut 2:
Anurag dutta is a consultant....
meeting goin on
as most consultants anurag dutta in client site....
now client has multiple buildings with multiple floors
anurag dutta's card has access to just 2 or 3 floors
meeting on a floor out of anurag dutta's access rights

but bladder knows no buildings...no boundaries...no access...no cards
so anurag dutta needs to go...
but anurag dutta cant find gentleman's loo
apparently it is in an area beyond a glass door...n out of access
anurag dutta wandering...
suddenly a helpful client employee sighted...
he says...i will help u....
there is another person...from another company...who is also wandering...looking for mukti

helpful client employee take both anurag dutta n other distressed individual (male) around...searching for gentleman's place...
apparently...helpful client employee also not from this floor/building...hence unaware of the layout
finally he says...u two go to the women's loo...i will keep guard outside

after a bit of convincing...(not much since nature is calling)....both anurag dutta n other distressed individual go in
anurag dutta finally sees the interiors of a women's washroom

but right now...the only thing on his mind is...i need to leave the washroom before the other guy
i dont want to be the last person left here...n caught...n then...who knows...is pardes mein kya saza milti hai aise apradh ke liye

hence anurag dutta tries his best to finish soon n leave...
but other guy beats anurag dutta to the exit....nature was calling anurag dutta from much before

anurag dutta is scared now...he cant "hear" the other person in the washroom....he hurries up to his best...n dashes to the exit...
thankfully...other person n helpful client employee still there waiting for anurag dutta

anurag dutta get second big releif of the day (first relief was when anurag dutta relieved himself in the ladies washroom)

The End

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

I formed this League. This is the league of people who voluntarily and many a times involuntarily decided to remain single :o)
Now one must note that the voluntary enrollment was mostly an outcome of involuntary circumstances. For eg. In college, u like girl, and so does the rest of the college. Finally girl also like boy, but boy one among the rest of the college. Then wat u do...U enroll into league of extraordinary gentlemen and proclaim that u r not interested in girls.

One must at no point doubt the sexual orientation of this league. Every member is straight. Just that we live maharishis decided to let the rest of the world enjoy the fruits of love, n we pray for them (thoda zyada ho gaya but chalta hai :D)

We once had a huge membership but now with passing time, members are shying away from the guidelines of the league.
Recent escapades include long time loyal member Upmanyu Sharmah. He was the last commander i expected to lose. But he too fell in love :o)

We have in and out member Arnab Deka. Recent joinees also include Bhaskar S and Ramnish Gaikwad. However, I am suspicious about Mr. Gaikwad's dedication to the ideals of the group.

The primary ideal of the group is that one has to be a Randwa. Now the word as such sounds very impolite. But a great saint from the village of dead peepal explained the meaning of Randwa to me. A Randwa is basically a guy in love. But the speciality here is...he is not in love with anyone specific. So he is just in love with love or rather the concept of love or watever. But he is in love without anyone to love :o)

Now two of the very old members of the league.
Sam Dadda. I cannot doubt his loyalty at any point of time. He was one of the founding members of the league and we still have spirited discussions on the future of the league.

Debdeep Nath. ANother loyal commander. He did try to move out of the league. But his story goes like this...
Nath baba n another guy sharing a smoke outside the office. Suddenly pretty girl walks out. Nath baba feels he is in love with this girl for sometime now. So he confides in his ciggy buddy....sahi hai na yaar...mujhe bahut achi lagti hai ... Ciggy buddy says...haan..sahi hai...meri girlfriend hai woh. ...Nath baba's story ended there...
Since then I am pretty confident Nath baba has been in the league. THough he has tried to venture out, but some people are just meant to be there for the betterment of the other league members :o)

And finally me :o)
I too ventured out of the league and was foolish enough to think i wont have to return :o)
However, now am back. And would be around for sometime.
Like Upam says, have to find the right reason to quit this extraordinary league of Randwas :o)

Blowing in the wind...

Imagine the following scenarios:

1. 3 or more people in the room. Someone farts. Its a silent killer. Ur nasal hair is on the brink of incineration. What do u do? U twitch ur nose, and gasp for air. Now no one knows who has farted. So some of the other people would also imitate u, while some would act as if nothing happened (how can they do that, this is chemical warfare we are taking about here?!!!!). Anyway, finally no one knows or accepts who did it.

2. 3 or more people in the room. U fart. U thank god that its a silent one. But then they are the one's which are most hazardous environmentally n biologically (hazard for the others in the room). U wait for sometime to see if someone twitches his/her nose. U dont want to be the first one to jump at acknowledging the smell and get caught in the act. But after a considerable time (considerable here is contextual) if no one twitches, u either let it go, or play the whistleblower n gasp for air, and might even blame someone else. At the end of it, no one gets caught or accepts the blame (coz u farted n no one knows that u farted, or even if someone has his/her doubts, no one can prove anything)

3. 2 people in the room. The other person farts. U r about to die of suffocation. U make a face, look at him, give one of those smiles which has "I know wat u did last minute" written all over it. U try to stand the smell, but if its too much, u walk out. Now the walking out excuse would depend on the bonding u share with the other person. If its strong, u shout a few abuses, accuse the person of attempted homicide/manslaughter (it might have been involuntary u see, gastrointestinal muscles has their own way of acting/reacting) and walk out. If its not that strong, say u have to go to someone else's room or for a smoke (u donot say that u r going to the restroom, else the other person, even though guilty might accuse u of the sin).

4. 2 people in the room. U fart. The atmosphere has become poisonous since its one of those farts which happen after a missed shit in the morning. U avoid the other person's gaze and just hope that he is gentleman enough to not react, and his lungs are strong enough to bear the brunt of ur gaseous onslaught.


"Exam in 1 hour" disclaimers apply to this post :o)

Course on book selection n table of contents

When u go to a book shop, u look at the shelves. Ur eyes are searching for books (isnt it obvious...its a book shop). Then u note a book. Not the front side, but the "side" side (if its on a shelf, then obviously u ll notice the side side). U try n read the name (colour of the cover is definitely not a criterion for me :D). u notice the name of the author (sometimes), u pull out the book (predictable), u turn it around, read the back cover page, look at the reviews and the bit of story of the book given (tell me something new), then u turn it around n turn the front cover, look at the table of contents. Finally u decide to buy it or not...

This was taught to us in a Law class (yes we have that too :D) N u might think that i was laughing, but my face made no attempt to hide the boredom that i was going thru. Happens to me in every class of this subject. Most of the days i dont fall asleep coz i have just slept n hour in the previous class (4 PM is no time for a class, n that too for me, not at all). N when u dont fall asleep, n ur mind flatly rejects to open up even one small door to the incoming "information", the result is total total total frustration n boredom.

After the book selection guideline, we were given a discourse on Table of Contents.
U open the page, n u see the table of contents. It has the contents of the whole book. The page numbers are given so that u can turn to the required page. The table of contents comprise of parts..n what does each part comprise of?....silence...someone say...chapters. yes very correct chapters. very good. each chapter comprises of sections, n each section of paragraphs, n paragraphs of sentences, n sentences further comprise of words .... i was waiting please go on to the alphabets n then the phoenetics of alphabets...but i was disappointed.

Before i end, another god level question that was put forward to the budding managers of tomoro in the class.

What does each report that with?
someone answers...table of contents.
that's right...but what else.
silence
one person is specifically supposed to answer...its his turn to answer.
the guy sitting next to him whispers...conclusion
the person on the hot seat says...Sir..Introduction.

That's correct. Introduction. So we see that each report starts with an introduction. In the same way, each book starts with the table of contents...

God, gimme the strength to sit thru the rest of these classes...Amen

WAC no more

WAC is over. Khatam ho gaya saala. N we were the first group (this wac was a group wac) to submit our report :o).

WAC no more. WAC no more. Kutta mar gaya (dharmendra style).

Why is everyone happy? Why am I happy? Coz right from first term, I haven’t been able to understand or appreciate the grading of the subject. And invariably I end up screwing every wac assign. N finally, it leads to nightouts where I have to actually work (right now I am doing a night out blogging, but then that is fine :o))

Kuch bhi ho, khatam ho gaya saala.

p.s: This post has been composed on an earlier day. Date of posting n date of wat is described in the post are not related

ZZZZZ - Incident from IIMK Backwaters 2007 (again...haha hahahahaha)

The presentations for Whiteknight were going on. Ours was the last. Also, as soon as I reached Kozhikode, I realized my leg wound was bleeding. So I had to get a dressing. Hence I was waiting for a vehicle. Bhaskar was there in the audi. He told me this incident.

One of the guys (from IIMK), who was part of the team organizing Whiteknight fell asleep during the presentatios. Totally acceptable. Most of the presentations are OHTs (over head transmissions). But what is not acceptable is snoring.

So this guy started snoring. The first snore came. People first thought it was some problem with the mike. Then came the second one. All eyes turned to this guy.

I guess someone from the audience woke him up :o

Kinki :o) - Incident from return journey from IIMK Backwaters 2007

During my journey from Kozhikode to Baroda, the family in the next coup were playing word power :o) A father, a mother and a son. The son, a/c my approximation, would be something like 10-14 years (the interval estimate is very large here since my experience in evaluating the estimate of a child’s age is nil).

Coming back to the word game. Now, the child here seems to be real muggu. Bole to ekdum padhai karne wala balak. The whole afternoon, when everyone (including his parents) were snoring, he was laughing reading tinkle (I am sure he would be reading the Uncle Anu part, which I invariably skipped in every tinkle I read).

Neway, now I am really coming back to the word game. The game was goin on. Suddenly me n bhaskar heard the word “Kinki”. The source of the word was the kid. We were both laughing, and we couldn’t really make out the reactions of the parents.

Desh aur desh ka youth bahut hi fast pace par tarakki kar raha hai :o)

Mission Smoke

Time: 0300 hours, in the middle of my holidays

Venue: The large bedroom in our house

Occupants: Me, me n myself (papa had gone to numaligarh, hence ma and bro were sleeping the other room because my incessant tv watching n comp game playing is a big deterrant to sleep :o))

Mission: To smoke for the first time at home (not out of adventure but out of desperation)

Weapons: Wills Navy Cut, Matchbox, Room freshener, Mortein Mosquito coil, Polo

Place of execution of mission: The bathroom

Nuisance: Mosquitoes

Execution:

- Switch off light of bedroom so that if by chance Ma comes this way, she thinks I am asleep n so goes back.

- Get a polo from the fridge. Have it. This is to avoid any traces of cig smoke in the breath when I wake up in the morning.

- Go to the bathroom. Spray some freshener.

- Light the cig. Drop the match in the toilet.

- Switch off the light immediately.

- Open the window.

- Smoke in peace, watching the dark outside and lighted end of the cig the only light

- Make sure to exhaust as much of the smoke as possible outside the window

- After finishing the smoke, drop the cig in the toilet. One can always drop it outside and blame the kirayedaar staying upstairs of smoking, but then why take a chance

- Spray some more room freshener

- Flush the toilet.

- Open the window so that the cig smell escapes (smokers would know that cig smell tends to stick in closed rooms for long long long durations)

- Get out of the bathroom and close the door (this is to avoid being slaughtered by mosquitoes)

Mission accomplished.

And if u people are thinking wat was the mosquito coil for, well it was an alibi. It was kept in the bedroom while I was in the bathroom smoking. So if any smell does reach the other room, it would be the smell of the coil.

Muwahahahahahahahaha.

Sadism :o)

I just wrote this blog. And it just disappeared. SO writing it again.

This place makes a sadist out of u.
Why am i saying this?
Whenever someone is coldcalled to solve a quant problem on the board, there is a round of applause.
THis applause is not for the person going to solve the problem, its becuase kisi aur ki lag gayi aur apun abhi ke liye bach gaya :o)

jeering

We had our inter section badminton matched the other day. We won.
Didnt get a change to play, coz there are better players in the section. But was actively involved in cheering.
Now the cheering did deviate a bit to jeering the opponents from time to time.
Lekin kya kare yaar, sab engineers hi hai. Engineering college pracitices die hard.
Jeers like gadda hai gadda hai go here also. But then thats bout it. Nothing more.
After all, we all are "supposed" to behave like mature individuals out here (please not the word supposed to is in quote. If u want to disprove me, all u have to do is come to one of our group meetings ;o))

Cribs

This is the name given to any request for revision of marks awarded in a quiz or exam.
Now in Quant, we have this funda of genuine cribs. If one submits a crib and its found to be not genuine, then he/she stands to lose 2 marks if its a quiz crib, or 5 marks, if its a exam crib.
Hence its very important to know that ur crib is genuine before u actually crib.
So i got my quant mid term paper. Much below wat i had expected. I wasnt sure bout one of the corrections. Hence i wanted to submit a crib.
So i contacted the TA ie teaching associate, and asked him "Sir, can u please define a genuine crib, and how would u classify a crib as genuine or not?"
He then gave me a dissertation on wat they expect out of a genuine crib, at the end of which i was even more confused.

Finally in the end my marks didnt improve, but i did gather the knowledge not to ask for a definition or differentiation of crib as genuine or non-genuine :o)

Nod ur head...

No. I am not going to write the lyrics of Will Smith's song now.
Was in my finance lecture the other day. Our prof is a God in markets. We, as mature individuals are expected to read the chapter and from there, the prof takes it forward.
But many a time, extra curricular activities like sleep, badminton etc negate the possibility of one being prepared for the class.
It was one of those days. The chapter was on exchange rates.
I am usually attentive (note the word usually, it can be really ambiguous ;o)) in the finance lectures. Also, usually (again ;o)) donot sleep in classes nowadays. So the prof was teaching, and i wasnt understanding anything, just jotting down watever he was writing on the board on the my notebook.
And he kept looking at me from time to time. And I had to nod my head in an intellectual thoughtful manner, conveying the impression that, yes, its complicated sir, but i do understand.
This went on for the whole lecture.
He taught. Looked at me. I nodded.

A genuine case of overhead transmission.

Sleepy Hollow

Coming back from the library just now.
We have these cubes in our library where u can sit in peace (legs table par utha ke) and study or sleep.

I was feeling very sleepy in my room. So went to the lib to study.
Ek cube dhoonda. Baith gaya. Economics khola. Shuru ho gaya.

It had hardly been ten minutes. I could hear sounds (now dont worry...I aint gonna say next that i could see dead people :o)). Wat kind of sounds, one may ask. Hmmm....sounds which go

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Yes. I could hear snoring. I smiled to myself. Wasnt new to me. I myself always slept in the library in college. Here too, I have slept many times (we have a couch also where its really comfortable sleeping :o))

Neway, the person kept snoring n snoring. Also the goonj (reverberation) of the snoring was distracting me. So i decided to just check who this person is. It seemed like it was someone pretty far away. The goonj was coming from pretty far. So i walked ahead and checked.

No one. THen i went in the other direction ie backwards. Turns out that the person in the cube right behind mine has his head in his book (actually forehead, like when u pray to god in the temple) and is snoring away to glory.

I had no intention to wake him up. So i let him be.

He continued snoring. In a few minutes, i also fell asleep (just to be waken up in a couple of minutes by my drool falling on my hands :o)).

My dear sleeping colleague woke up in another 10-15 minutes (he must have slept a solid 45 mins-1hr) and left.

I studied for some more time and have come back now.

The library is a really nice place to sleep :o)

Coldcall Part II

Thursday the 23rd
Life is cruising along fine. Slept in the second hour finance lecture. Quant lecture going on fine.
Sir is teaching joint prob distribution n stuff.

Suddenly he throws open a question to the class n asks for volunteers.
Now i wouldnt even dream of volunteering in proving theorems n stuff. Some people did raise their hands, but then they were the studs of quant. So sir said, they would be needed in subsequent proofs.

Now a piece of advice. To avoid being coldcalled, 2 things must be done (or rather not done). Dont look at the prof. Look down, or look east or west but dont look at him (n if by some teeny weeny chance u do look at him, look totally disinterested n totally lost). The 2nd thing is dont discuss nething with ur neighbours, not even the answer. Be totally silent.

I broke the second sacrosanct law of avoiding coldcall. I talked to randolf on my left. I was asking him "abbey saale kya karna hai ismein". Before he would reply, i heard "Anurag, would u like to do it on the board?"

Now dont be mistaken. This stt was not a question where one can answer yes or no.

So i slipped on slippers (i usually open my floaters in class), and collected my notebook and pen and walked towards the board. Sir said i wont need the notebook. So i left it somewhere on the way. And then wit big foolish grin on my face, reached the board, collected a chalk piece (we use yellow chalk in class usually for the benefit of the back benchers).....n i didnt know wat to do next.

But our prof is really nice. He helped me out with the problem and finally i did fine.

So that was my 2nd coldcall of the term.

The dream that screwed my jogging

Scene: Today morning

The alarms( mobile, phone n clock) were set for 6:00, 6:15 and 6:30 (not in the same order)
When i switched off the last of the alarms, only then did i realize its time to wake up, since i had planned to read the newspaper and then go for jogging

now why is reading the newspaper imp?

Since my last CAT interview, i havent read the newspaper (that is something like 9 months). And i am keeping a newspaper in my room for the last 1 month. So its high time i start reading it again.

Neway, coming back to today morning, the last alarm clock rang. I decided to wake up at 7. It was completely feasible since i was semi sleeping and had a fair idea of the time.

Between 6:30 n 7 i had this terrible morning mare (nightmare's morning cousin). it was a pretty electronic dream. my mobile rings. an sms has arrived.
its from an unknown number. it reads

SHORT MANAC-II QUIZ AT 9 AM IN UR RESPECTIVE CLASSROOMS
REGARDS
MANAC INSTRUCTORS

meri neend mein hi neend udh gayi

So i decided i have to make a choice. Either i jog and i get my quiz screwed. Or i donot jog n still get my quiz screwed.
I chose the latter. So i started revising (all this happened while sleeping). I was feeling like i am rememberin manac fundae. Many a time i thought i shld wake up and read from the book. But then i kept reading the message in my mobile in my dream n i decided not to (illogical thing :o))

Neway I finally thought at 8:15, have to get out of bed now or will miss the quiz.
Got up. Started brushing.



Turned slowly towards the mobile. Walked towards it. Checked the last message. It wasnt from MANAC instructors.

#($&#($*(#*(

Now MANAC is screwing up my health also (in ways other than increasing my smoke intake)

Coldcall :o)

Had my first cold call of the term today.
Slept late at night. Rather slept early in the morning. Bole to 7 baje. Till then i was thinking of my life's short n long term goals (yeh ek lambi dukh bhari daastaan hai...kabhi phursat se sunaunga yaaro :o))
Eco class was interesting. So managed to keep awake. Mkting class is usually very interesting. But today most of it was overhead transmission. So dozed off. Gawali was sitting next to me. He kept waking me up. On any other day, I would have been grateful. But today, I wanted to sleep :o)
But could not manage much sleep in that class eihther.
In accounting (oh yes accounting, my perennial source of nightmares) the class was important so i managed to stay awake. But my eyes were red (so i was told). But i didnt sleep. Our prof is a very good teacher. But cold call karte hai. Cold call is something like u are called to answer a question ( n i beleieve it also includes a clause tht one is least expecting to be called when he/she is called....only then is the call a cold call, but then people have differing views on this ... i myself have differing views from time to time :o)). So one cold call gone. I am safe. 2 cold calls gone. I am still safe. 3rd cold call. The prof is looking at me. My fraind, how do u do this? I wasnt expecting to be called. But then I sit in this CP corridor with Pinky and Gutter sitting right in front of me :o). So this had to happen one day. So it happened today.

I was lookin at the case to answer (thankfully i had read the case). The prof asks next, Wan did u have ur breakfast? I was a bit bewildered. I said 9 AM sir. Then he looked at the clock n said, today also u are looking very drowsy. The last day also u were looking very drowsy but then i had dismissd it as after affects of diwali :o)
In the end i managed to answer the question. So that was a nice to end it :o)

Other than that, the day has been not good, but then one conversation of 35 odd minutes has made my day beautiful. Hence i am thankful for that (not to God :o))

Adios

Interests in CV

Possible entries:
-- Like coming 3rd in 5th Semester in Engineering
-- Like hosting cultural activities as convenor of events
-- Like winning prizes in Inter University Tournaments
-- Like being appraised at high performance ratings

If this does not make sense, dont worry. Blogging at 5 in the morning is supposed to be non sensical :o)

P.S. These entries are not my interests. These are possible interests of a few of my friends here :o)

I am a star :o)

I was bout to hit the bed. Went to titto's room for a second. Phatlee was there. He asked me if i could act. I said "Of course dude" ( u can read bout my acting skills on a previous post bout t-nites :o)). So he said "Ok we are shooting in 15 minutes".

Now an actor is just natural. He/she does not need time to prepare. And as u people might have already guessed by now, acting comes naturally to me. Its inside me. Outside me. Around me. Everywhere (shayad thoda zyada ho gaya). Ok so wat i was saying was that i obliged.

It was this small 2 minute shot for phatlee's assignment (dunno which one). The scene was -- I am a totally frustrated fucha, pissed off with life and with the pressure here (sounds familiar :o)). I am coming back from the lib with a book and on the way meet this tucha (second yr) , playd by titto, who shatters my self confidence even more by saying one has to be stronger than this.

Then i am really depressed and then another good tucha (played by scale) comes in and consoles me.


I am walking up the stairs, with this book i have no idea about. I meeet titto. I cant suppress my laughter which explodes out. Phatlee does some classy craftmanship with the digicam to not record me giggling. Titto gives me gyan. I regain my composure. THen i go to the room, dump the notebook and say my dialogue. Scale comes in and consoles me. I forget each n every dialogue of mine. Scale tells me "saale u have forgotten ur dialogue". But me like the quintissential actor goes on blabbering something according to the scene. Swanky craftmanship by Phatlee again makes sure Scale's comments arent recorded. In the end everyone is happy.

(The part with me n scale had to be repeated once but then finally everything came out fine)

I could not get the essence of the whole thing but was fun.

please dont applaud this perfect performance. i am too humble for that :o)

So u see, if u people want my autographs now, plz do get in touch with me. Later on i might not have time :o)

James

What is the probability that the game will be over with the 6th ball?

I wasnt sure bout the answer. Was lookin at one of my classmates solving the questions on the board, n praying to god that dont let my roll number be generated today so that i dont have to solve any problem on the board.

Suddenly James was there. James also wanted to learn probability, or so i thought. He was pretty near the board. It was like he wanted to imbibe all the knowledge today itself.

But then how long can someone be captivated by probability. I cant. N i guess James also lost interest. So he started moving around.

We switched off the fans. For James sake. We didnt want James to be caught unaware by a moving fan.

James felt much at home in our class. He moved around. Then as a good friend sensing our requirement for a fan, he himself started pedalling the fan. God bless his soul. He moved it single handedly for bout a minute. But then how long could he continue without rest.

So he also stopped after a while and resumed listening to the class.


James is a pigeon.


Looking forward to meeting James in the next class too.

Paul

Hi
Have u met Paul?
He has come to our college for a week long management development program.
Right now he does not have a room. Since he knew titto from before and is from Mumbai, so he is putting up with titto itself.
Met him bout half n hour back.

Paul was happily having his dinner of juicy insects and lazing around, crawling on the wall near the tube light.













Paul is a lizard, a house lizard actually. Its a Hemidactylus flaviviridis ( i think that is wat his scientific name is). But we call him Paul.

Hope Paul gets to sleep tonight.
Good night Paul.