Friday, October 26, 2007


Why does the past have to keep coming back in bits n pieces again n again n again?


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Fart Files

Never have I been subjected to so much fart in such a short period of time :o)I boarded the train from Ahmedabad to Mumbai (my travels n stays in mumbai somehow can never be without experiences :o))

Boarded the lokshakti express. There was this gentleman in my coup. He was arranging his luggage. His butt was turned towards me. Thankfully there was some breeze (at least I think so :o)). Suddenly there was this Poooooooo sound. I thought its probably someone’s shoe or luggage crank.
Then after sometime, I was generally looking into thin air (this is my first journey to Mumbai after my last journey). The gentleman shifted his weight, lifted his butt cheek (don’t ask me which one, I didn’t notice) n again…poooooooooooooooooooooooo
Have never really seen anyone taking so much liberty in asserting one’s right to fart. Do respect this man for that :D

Neway, the amusement started to wane gradually as the farts started coming in a flurry. One, two, three….i lost count. How many in the one hour that I was awake. Everytime, shift of weight, butt cheek rise, a slight pressurized sound from the gut…n then the wind escapes with a subdued yet distinctive sound.
I congratulate myself at looking totally indifferent. It was partly because of the fact that my mind was occupied with the past visit to Bombay, and also because I didn’t want to take this man off ease.

Another phenomenon, one girl was in our coup. Some college student, who could not stop chattering on her phone. Our dear gentleman made it a point (or rather tried his best) to avoid the “breeze” when she was around. There was this one instant when he seemed to be quite at unease, as if holding back emotions, feelings…..wind :D
Then the young lady went to the restroom (maybe…I didn’t follow her). And then came the long Sidewinder…. poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…ppooooo…pooooooooooo
Seemed to go on for ever
I went up to my berth after some time n listened to a few more windy expulsions before I fell asleep.

Woke up in the morning, got down from my berth.And was welcomed by a …..Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Sunday, October 21, 2007

Mumbai Airport…the beginning of the end

The end began here, in the airport. No details revealed.

Was told once of something called trauma therapy. When u go thru a trauma, to get over it, u must try n relive the experience. Helps u get over it.

Though I CANT relive the whole experience, coming to the airport surely seems like trauma therapy. Coz the trauma is coming back in bits n pieces.

Hope the therapy happens soon

Pondicherry…have great hopes from u

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Thursday, October 18, 2007

Hot Seat

Throughout college I always thought...Why did my parents have to name me 'A'nurag? The A ensures that every practical exam has me writing it on the first day...bali ka bakra types.
Thought wouldnt disagree to the fact that some of the practical exams were easier on the initial days...lekin mere jaise kisi bande ke liye jiski exams se phat ti hai...thoda load hai na :o(

Neway, yesterday, again was in the hot seat. Now most probs this was not due to my name, because there was another person with a name starting with N in the hot seat too. But somehow I cant get this out of my head, that its because of the A.

Now u have to see our lecture halls to understand the gravity of the situation i am going to narrate. Our lecture halls are of the typical well shpe. There is a well in the middle, and there are rows of chairs surrounding it. The prof's desk is at the head of the well, and the well is visible from everywhere. That is the idea for it being a well :D

Now, have never seen a seating arrangement where there are two seats right IN the well. And guess who was one of the lucky guys...ME. And more so coz my chair was right in FRONT of the evaluator's desk. A photo would help explain the situation.
So its like anyone is getting bored in the exam, he/she can look at me scrathing my balding head and relax for a moment. If i get an itch 'down there' there is no way i can relieve myself. I cant sit in my typical village style with lets on the chair, since there are people asking me to sit properly :D (not that that is going to make a difference :D)

Neway, once the exam started, didnt have much time to look around, though the itch part, i think i did have to control myself once :D

P.S: Anurag means love.....f*****n irony :D

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Was introduced to this word by Haddi (Ritesh tewary) in college (or maybe in Infosys, how does it matter). Its an Urdu word (at least i think so) and its English translation would be "Yearning" (again...i think so :o))
Now the context I, or Sam Dadda or Haddi uses it in (I still do, the other two might have stopped using the word :o)) is SMOKING :D
Jab ciggi ki talab lagti hai to duniya hil jaati hai
Yesterday the same thing happened. Finished writing a paper for a competition. Then ordered my second meal in the day at midnight. That is when talab jaagi (talab woke up). And I had the ammo read cigs, but i didnt have a way to ignite the fire (read matchbox :D).
Searched here n there, the facchas who are the sources of matchbox, or patwari, were missing.
Shouted out to another smoker in the adjacent dorm. No matchbox.

Then i remembered. The guards guarding the ladies dormitories usually light incense sticks. Upar wale ke bhakt hai woh log...acha hai.
So i walked up to the ladies dorm. Asked the guard, u have agarbatti? He said yes. Then i said, if u have agarbatti, then u would have matchstick too (u see logical interpretation). He didnt have it, but another guard in another ladies dorm did. So we walked to that dorm, n got the cig lighted.

And finally the Talab was satisfied.
Peace :o)

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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Heights of Procrastination

Another competition down the drain...why...was too lazy to start off...n ended up a frustrated soul on the last day :o(


Friday, October 12, 2007

The Stare Game

Me in this Gujju restaurant Govardhan. All banter goin on. Me never good at it (n am sure wont really get good at it either...wat the hell :D)
N here a pretty gujju female enters with whole family. She is pretty in black.
Sits far across the room. For me, her profile is right in front of me (but for her mom n my friend who keep blocking the view from time to time). For her, she has to move her head a bit sideways to catch my glance.
She catches me glancing at her. On any other day, i would have looked in the other direction. Not today. I continue looking.
She also does not move her gaze.
Eyes locked. No smiles. But eyes locked. Not in the angry lock. But eyes locked.
The stare breaks from time to time when i get scared her mom is looking at me, or she gets scared her mom is looking at her, or the many environmental obstacles block our intimate stare.
Then the eyes meet again...And we look at each other...

N Then...

The bill is paid, we get up, I get up and leave, without even a goodbye glance :D

Kaagaz ke sher hai hum miya...lekin aaj pehla kadam tha...ab aage dekhte hai kadam kaha le jaate hai :D inshallah

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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Of stories and communication

Has been a nice day. In the managerial commnications class, today Katlee and Benjy told two nice stories, the moral of both of which were similar. Which is, life throws obstacles n flowers at u. u cant take one n neglect the other. but then how u feel n maintain ur mood is totally on u.
remember that saying which a girl had put up in our classroom in 8th std (we were supposed to get nice quotes to put up on the classroom walls)...I cried because i had no shoes, until i met a man who had no feet.

Neway, bout communication, i beleive its the most important aspect of most relationships. i am bad at it. atleast with my family, i am really bad. but then even otherwise, i have been bad.
but then i made one genuine attempt and i beleive i was good in that. i tried my best to communicate, but then still things didnt work out.
but then ... shit happens :o)

So u add the first and the second para, u get the moral of this post. Which is...Communication is important, but then i am not good at it, will try to improve but cant promise, n even when i have been good, shit has happened...but then...what the moves on...n people find my smile very i might very well move on with my smile on my face n a tune on my lips :D

mai zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya...har phikr ko dhuye mein udata chala gaya :D

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Course on book selection n table of contents

When u go to a book shop, u look at the shelves. Ur eyes are searching for books (isnt it obvious...its a book shop). Then u note a book. Not the front side, but the "side" side (if its on a shelf, then obviously u ll notice the side side). U try n read the name (colour of the cover is definitely not a criterion for me :D). u notice the name of the author (sometimes), u pull out the book (predictable), u turn it around, read the back cover page, look at the reviews and the bit of story of the book given (tell me something new), then u turn it around n turn the front cover, look at the table of contents. Finally u decide to buy it or not...

This was taught to us in a Law class (yes we have that too :D) N u might think that i was laughing, but my face made no attempt to hide the boredom that i was going thru. Happens to me in every class of this subject. Most of the days i dont fall asleep coz i have just slept n hour in the previous class (4 PM is no time for a class, n that too for me, not at all). N when u dont fall asleep, n ur mind flatly rejects to open up even one small door to the incoming "information", the result is total total total frustration n boredom.

After the book selection guideline, we were given a discourse on Table of Contents.
U open the page, n u see the table of contents. It has the contents of the whole book. The page numbers are given so that u can turn to the required page. The table of contents comprise of parts..n what does each part comprise of?....silence...someone say...chapters. yes very correct chapters. very good. each chapter comprises of sections, n each section of paragraphs, n paragraphs of sentences, n sentences further comprise of words .... i was waiting please go on to the alphabets n then the phoenetics of alphabets...but i was disappointed.

Before i end, another god level question that was put forward to the budding managers of tomoro in the class.

What does each report that with?
someone answers...table of contents.
that's right...but what else.
one person is specifically supposed to answer...its his turn to answer.
the guy sitting next to him whispers...conclusion
the person on the hot seat says...Sir..Introduction.

That's correct. Introduction. So we see that each report starts with an introduction. In the same way, each book starts with the table of contents...

God, gimme the strength to sit thru the rest of these classes...Amen

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Sunday, October 07, 2007

Are u GAY?

Have been asked this question twice. Once was over chat. Wont go into the details of that.
Yesterday was the second time.

We were having this roof top party in the dorm. And few exchange students turned up. Once of them is Chinese. We are in the same project group for one subject. So we all were drinking n being merry. So then he asked "Where are the girls?" I said, what girls?
He said, u having a party without girls. I said, yes, we always have parties like this. Its not tht girls are not allowed or anything, but then that is how we have parties. At a dorm party especially for a guy's dorm, obviously no girls.
Then he said that he cant imagine a party without girls. So i went on to explain to him that in India, for bachelors, the general norm is to have parties without girls. daru, sutta, expletives, music (my idea of a great party :D).
So the discussion meandered around to me. My future plans, especially about girls (again :D)
So i said, I am not sure. But most probs i will would be single.

Then he asked, is that the norm here. I said NO. How do u think our country has so many people (population re :D). Then i told him that usually people get married but there can be cases when one chooses not to take the plunge. So as of now, I have chosen the latter.

He thought for a moment, n then with a smile asked "Are u GAY?"
I also smiled.

And felt good after smiling actually. To be able to smile at something u r totally against is good isnt it :D
I know homosexuality is just another sexual orientation etc etc blah blah, but then its something i have never been able to look at without prejudice (negative that too). n when i write the previous sentence, i am drastically mellowing down my feelings for gayism (this being a public forum :D) dont want to be targeted by pro-gay activists.

but then now i would present my chauvinistic side to u :D
see, i am a chauvinist in a way. but only this way. ekdum promise :D

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Friday, October 05, 2007

Eye of the Beholder :o)

Had seen a movie by this name. Saw Ashley Judd for the first time...fell in love with her (and have fallen in love with her again n again over n over as i see many of the "clips" of her movies :D)

Neway, this post is not about pornographic movie clips. Though i would make a point bout pornography too. But then this post is about eye contact.

Did i mention in one of my previous posts that we are having this course in communication. The prof is good. So he was saying something bout eye contact. And then gave interesting tit bits. He said, that when u first meet someone, ur eyes meet, as in a hello, n then they move away, moving over the face, as u try n absorb the person in ur mind. The eyes dont meet for very long. Coz those long engaging gazes are usually for two reasons. One is something me n sam dadda used to discuss in bangalore which is when eyes express unexpressable emotions for eg. Madar c***, bhan ke L**** mai tera khoon bhi piyunga aur teri ma bhi c*** doonga :D.
And coincidentally, the other is also when ur eyes express emotions, but these are emotions of the finer sense. Havent u seen two lovers just look into each others' eyes n say nothing. In case u havent u need to go n see some hindi movies or just go to some lover's park in some city n watch all the love birds.

So basically looking long long enough into another person's eyes (not staring or glaring) expresses a comfort level which most people dont share. So if u (guys) try looking into a girl's eyes long enough, u might be accused of acting "fresh" (never understoond why the term came up...acting if we guys dont brush or something).
But then it might be exciting to try it out sometime. I tried it out the other day in class with an exchange student, n her pupils enlarged.

Now that is a good sign. Coz when u see something that u like seeing, then ur pupils enlarge to let more light n more of the image in (now do u remember pornography...yes...guys...when u watch porn...ur pupils enlarge ie open up more).
Now if any of u sick minds try to draw an analogy between the pupils of the exchange student enlarging n pornography, i should be coming down to ur place n giving u "one tight slap" (as in mtv or channel v).
N on any other day, i would have been overjoyed noticing the enlarged pupils :o)...but then right now...naaaaaaahhh
i wont say i like being alone....but then i dont like any other person invading my loneliness :o) isliye parakrami anurag dutta fight nahi marenge...aur baaki sabhi fighters ko sampoorna samarthan denge...gusshow gusshow full support full support

n me...have to wait another hour to burn my lungs... :o)

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