In Company of Women :o)

Anurag Dutta was standing. He was enjoying what was going on a few storeys below. At the back of his mind, was the Dahi Wada and the Butter Scotch ice cream in the mess. He loved the Friday mess food.

Suddenly a group of pretty young girls came running his way. He hardly noticed them. This was but bound to happen. They had dreamy eyes and were dying to get to him first. They surrounded him, fell over him. He didnt give them much attention. This was but bound to happen.

They had smiles on their faces. Soon more of them came. Anurag was getting a bit uneasy now since he was getting cramped for space. But how could he leave?







It was his place to watch the Dance show going on on the stage 2 storeys below. There was no nice place in the lawn so he had come up.
The girls were leaning over and around him to catch a good glimpse of the show going on below.
But Anurag Dutta wasnt complaining :o)

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

I formed this League. This is the league of people who voluntarily and many a times involuntarily decided to remain single :o)
Now one must note that the voluntary enrollment was mostly an outcome of involuntary circumstances. For eg. In college, u like girl, and so does the rest of the college. Finally girl also like boy, but boy one among the rest of the college. Then wat u do...U enroll into league of extraordinary gentlemen and proclaim that u r not interested in girls.

One must at no point doubt the sexual orientation of this league. Every member is straight. Just that we live maharishis decided to let the rest of the world enjoy the fruits of love, n we pray for them (thoda zyada ho gaya but chalta hai :D)

We once had a huge membership but now with passing time, members are shying away from the guidelines of the league.
Recent escapades include long time loyal member Upmanyu Sharmah. He was the last commander i expected to lose. But he too fell in love :o)

We have in and out member Arnab Deka. Recent joinees also include Bhaskar S and Ramnish Gaikwad. However, I am suspicious about Mr. Gaikwad's dedication to the ideals of the group.

The primary ideal of the group is that one has to be a Randwa. Now the word as such sounds very impolite. But a great saint from the village of dead peepal explained the meaning of Randwa to me. A Randwa is basically a guy in love. But the speciality here is...he is not in love with anyone specific. So he is just in love with love or rather the concept of love or watever. But he is in love without anyone to love :o)

Now two of the very old members of the league.
Sam Dadda. I cannot doubt his loyalty at any point of time. He was one of the founding members of the league and we still have spirited discussions on the future of the league.

Debdeep Nath. ANother loyal commander. He did try to move out of the league. But his story goes like this...
Nath baba n another guy sharing a smoke outside the office. Suddenly pretty girl walks out. Nath baba feels he is in love with this girl for sometime now. So he confides in his ciggy buddy....sahi hai na yaar...mujhe bahut achi lagti hai ... Ciggy buddy says...haan..sahi hai...meri girlfriend hai woh. ...Nath baba's story ended there...
Since then I am pretty confident Nath baba has been in the league. THough he has tried to venture out, but some people are just meant to be there for the betterment of the other league members :o)

And finally me :o)
I too ventured out of the league and was foolish enough to think i wont have to return :o)
However, now am back. And would be around for sometime.
Like Upam says, have to find the right reason to quit this extraordinary league of Randwas :o)

Blowing in the wind...

Imagine the following scenarios:

1. 3 or more people in the room. Someone farts. Its a silent killer. Ur nasal hair is on the brink of incineration. What do u do? U twitch ur nose, and gasp for air. Now no one knows who has farted. So some of the other people would also imitate u, while some would act as if nothing happened (how can they do that, this is chemical warfare we are taking about here?!!!!). Anyway, finally no one knows or accepts who did it.

2. 3 or more people in the room. U fart. U thank god that its a silent one. But then they are the one's which are most hazardous environmentally n biologically (hazard for the others in the room). U wait for sometime to see if someone twitches his/her nose. U dont want to be the first one to jump at acknowledging the smell and get caught in the act. But after a considerable time (considerable here is contextual) if no one twitches, u either let it go, or play the whistleblower n gasp for air, and might even blame someone else. At the end of it, no one gets caught or accepts the blame (coz u farted n no one knows that u farted, or even if someone has his/her doubts, no one can prove anything)

3. 2 people in the room. The other person farts. U r about to die of suffocation. U make a face, look at him, give one of those smiles which has "I know wat u did last minute" written all over it. U try to stand the smell, but if its too much, u walk out. Now the walking out excuse would depend on the bonding u share with the other person. If its strong, u shout a few abuses, accuse the person of attempted homicide/manslaughter (it might have been involuntary u see, gastrointestinal muscles has their own way of acting/reacting) and walk out. If its not that strong, say u have to go to someone else's room or for a smoke (u donot say that u r going to the restroom, else the other person, even though guilty might accuse u of the sin).

4. 2 people in the room. U fart. The atmosphere has become poisonous since its one of those farts which happen after a missed shit in the morning. U avoid the other person's gaze and just hope that he is gentleman enough to not react, and his lungs are strong enough to bear the brunt of ur gaseous onslaught.


"Exam in 1 hour" disclaimers apply to this post :o)

The Fart Files

Never have I been subjected to so much fart in such a short period of time :o)I boarded the train from Ahmedabad to Mumbai (my travels n stays in mumbai somehow can never be without experiences :o))

Boarded the lokshakti express. There was this gentleman in my coup. He was arranging his luggage. His butt was turned towards me. Thankfully there was some breeze (at least I think so :o)). Suddenly there was this Poooooooo sound. I thought its probably someone’s shoe or luggage crank.
Then after sometime, I was generally looking into thin air (this is my first journey to Mumbai after my last journey). The gentleman shifted his weight, lifted his butt cheek (don’t ask me which one, I didn’t notice) n again…poooooooooooooooooooooooo
Have never really seen anyone taking so much liberty in asserting one’s right to fart. Do respect this man for that :D

Neway, the amusement started to wane gradually as the farts started coming in a flurry. One, two, three….i lost count. How many in the one hour that I was awake. Everytime, shift of weight, butt cheek rise, a slight pressurized sound from the gut…n then the wind escapes with a subdued yet distinctive sound.
I congratulate myself at looking totally indifferent. It was partly because of the fact that my mind was occupied with the past visit to Bombay, and also because I didn’t want to take this man off ease.

Another phenomenon, one girl was in our coup. Some college student, who could not stop chattering on her phone. Our dear gentleman made it a point (or rather tried his best) to avoid the “breeze” when she was around. There was this one instant when he seemed to be quite at unease, as if holding back emotions, feelings…..wind :D
Then the young lady went to the restroom (maybe…I didn’t follow her). And then came the long Sidewinder…. poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…ppooooo…pooooooooooo
Seemed to go on for ever
I went up to my berth after some time n listened to a few more windy expulsions before I fell asleep.

Woke up in the morning, got down from my berth.And was welcomed by a …..Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

jhoom barabar jhoom

second yr has started with a bang. but then to describe the finer aspects of tuchadom, i would post a different post. today i would devote my undivided attention n praise to Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

Wat a movie yaar, wat a movie. At the end of the movie, we (the gang ie me, titto, randolf, bhaskar and nisha) we begging for more. i could not beleive that the movie was over. just before the end, there is a scene where amitabh is thinking and fixing up the loose ends of the movie, and he starts laughing. its so amazing (not his laughing) because u feel like he is right there with u, sitting beside u and laughing......at u.....no no....why would he laugh at the audience?

we will come to the laughing part again in the end. now before i begin, i strongly recommend all of u to go and watch the movie. and if for some unholy reason, u r planning not to do so, then read on, or else, some of the fun of the movie wll be lost. but then jbj (jhoom barabar jhoom) is one of those movies where u wont loose the fun and the masti even if u have read a book on the storyline beforehand.

the film starts in a england railway station. abhishek bachan is a punjab ka munda who makes his living in UK doing dunno wat, maybe getting sardars to london. he bumps into preity zinta (oh she is so hot, especially with her new (un)dressing sense :o)) so after some initial hiccups they begin to chat, wahi par kisi food corner mein. then they tell each other their love stories. abhishek loves anaida (lara dutta) who is french pakistani and from paris. lara dutta is hot man, seriously. when she is one screen, at least we four guys are generally silent (giving her our undivided attention). in one scene, she is wearing a nice low cut dress (dunno wat it is caled). titto ne mast bola, ek side assets hai ek side liabilities, dono side balanced n healthy, in fact very healthy :o) neway, so he falls in love after trying to run away from the ritz without paying where she is a manager. they fall in love finally.

preity's love story ka karta dharta hai superman she is visiting madam tussad's where a superman ka putla is about to fall on her, and bobby deol, who is richer than prince charles, saves her. he is a lawyer, and they together sue madam tussad's and win n fall in love (this happens with him carrying her in his arms home, he giving her a ride in his stretch hummer , yes hummer n not limo home, and he massaging her leg on the way, and she making "those" noises on the way...those bole to "oh yeah....give it to me baby...oh yeah...deeper....oh yeah" kind of noises. they were of course grunts of pleasure...er....got from the releif of the sprain pain..u dirty minds...think straight...pretiy zinta hai yaar....thwadi bhabi hai woh )

anyway, so the train arrives, but no it doesnt, and they its late by another hour, so they (abhishek n preity) run around teh station lookin for each other (like in kumbh ka mela). they find each other. then they play a couple of games. preity shows abhishek her butterfly tatto on the upper part of her bosom (oh yeah baby) and gets one done for abhishek also.

then finally the train arrives. they go their ways. exchange numbers. and then receive the people they were waiting for. who are not their fiance`s. so it turns out they both are not engaged, but fall in love with each other.

now preity calls her gay friend for help, and abhishek seeks help from his godfather habib bhai (habib bhai keeps giving some great dialogues....like "god made man, tailor made gentleman" and also "paris se mere liye perfume la, mai khusbu maarta hoon") anyway, after some reels, preity and abhishek decide to turn up in jharokha nights with their fiance`s. jharokha night is a punjabi dance competition with sardars all around. now preity gets bobby deol, who works in her gay friend's optical store to come as her boyfriend (she convinces him by jumpin on his lap and shouting rape rape and recording that one security camera) abhishek brings lara dutta, who is a prostitute named layla.

now the first prize in the dance competition is a trip for two to hollywood. both the couples dance for 15 minutes on the same songs in different musics (see, this is a romantic musical of types...but very different from the hollywood types, much more sleeker). finally abhishek wins, then next day bobby and lara, after "doing it" fall in love, and abhishek goes n proposes to preity, and they kiss on the road.

now the movie is over, but it cant be over without me describing amit ji's role. he has an epic role, never before performed by anyone in the history of indian film industry. his costume, i cant describe. and he is like the sootradhar of the movie, without a single dialogue, but keeps coming from time to time singing the jhoom barabar jhoom. and in the end, as i mentioned he laughs when fixing up the loose ends.














after 3 odd hours of jhoom barabar jhoom, u actually do realize the amitabh is laughing at u, for spending 150 bucks on a friday night to come n see the movie (beech mein mai smokin room jaane ke liye utha tha, lekin saalo ne woh bhi band kar diya)

lekin its the same funda. jab continuously koi peeche se bamboo karega, tab pehle to dard hoga, phir dard hi khatam nahi hoga, par halka halka maja bhi aayega. hence i strongly recommend u go n watch this movie in a hall. its like my college (engg) ka 1st yr mess. it had a deadly combination. mallu food in coconut (read cecenut) oil, and with the occasional worms to add to the delight. uske baad i could eat anywhere in india (china is an expection). sae for this movie. yeh movie hall mein dekh lo, kabhi crib nahi maroge phir kisi movie ke baare mein :o)

a typical day in hong kong

morning 7:30 AM. alarm rings.

now i havent taken a mobile connection here. and i am thanking myself for that. just yesterday one of my many bosses asked me for my mobile number. n there shone a smile on my face. had to hide it quickly to a sad expression, one showing, i understand u need to call me for work man, but want can i do, go f**k urself :o)

ok. so the alarm rings on the laptop. so i wake up after 15 mins ie 7:45, n shut down lappie.
now in 15 mins, i have a choice of brushing teeth, wearing the same pant i have been wearing for 3 weeks now, and one of the 4 shirts i have been rotating and wearin for 4 odd weeks now :o), wash my head, smoke a cig and limp my way to office (the revenge of the corn :o( )
OR
sit down at the pot and ask the chicken curry to leave my rectum alone

i usually chose the former since i have to reach office by 8:30 for a conf call. shit can wait (and in hong kong shit does wait :o))
so i reach office by 8:30. attend the call, act as if i am attentively jotting down something, leave, go down 42 floors for a fag, build pressure, come back n crap (ah wat a releif).
one more reason i donot like this place, how can people live without washing their arses after crapping. i use up almost a quarter of a toilet paper bundle wiping my ass, and still it feels yuck (ek secret batata hoon, room par to shower se dho leta hoon...muwahahaaahaha)

haan, after these nitya kram comes the "work" part. format ppts, copy stuff from ppts to word and vice versa, make market updates, work on the summer project. the day moves on.
its interspersed by cig breaks. oh, the everyday lunch happens at mc donald's. wapas aake ....
she holds me down. i fight back up. she titilates me. shows me beautiful "things", i try to resist, but finally give in. after all i am a mere mortal. i also have desires and "needs"

The need to sleep is one of the primary needs of mortals like u n me, wouldnt u agree?

haan, the battle rages on, and finally the cig comes to the rescue. again the trip down the storeys and back up.

shaam hote hi dimaag kaam karna kam kar deta. coz i start waiting for night, where i can go back to my room, and wait for another day to get over :o)
now usually work comes in the evenings also (have been having work for the last two days actually)
but then again its a battle. whether it can beat me, or can i beat it. i keep lookin at the direction of all the bosses who usually give me work. are they coming my way?
if they are, is there that sarcastic smile in their eyes which say, yeh le bhos****ke, ab ch**wa apni shaam, muwahahahahahahaha
or are they just coming to kill time with the boss sitting next to me
or are they walking too busy to talk
or have they forgotten about the work they were to give me
or are they goin to the loo or to a meeting or something

now if the last two scenarios arise, i hv a choice
to wait or to escape from alcatraz

have chosen both many times :o)
for eg, one of my bosses takes a small pouch with him whenever he goes to shit. so when i see him taking that pouch, n if he was the one who was supposed to give me work (both conditions must hold, coz his shtting in the evening wont help me unless he is supposed to give me some work, which i can escape thanks to mother nature), then i again i have 3 choices

1. go and jam the toilet door so that he does not come back for half n hour n then i leave without feeling guilty
2. escape the moment he leaves (can be sure a person in the i banking sector, going to the loo wont come back in 4-5 mins)
3. wait for mother nature to be done with him, n then let him do me

have never tried the first alternative (would like to try it sometime...would have been so much easier had the doors had bolts both ways....lekih yaha to toilet me bhi security access lagta hai)

have definitely tried option 2 & 3 :o)

now if i choose to wait, sometimes i get work immediately, or i wait for nothing for an hour or two, no work, boss leaves, n then i curse myself for not choosing alternative 3 or much better alternative 1
on other days, get work, work till 9 or 10 odd, brain dies completely due to the "challenging" nature of the work, and usually beat it by 10:30 or 11

in room, come back, take a bath once in 2-3 days :o), switch on the tv, eat chicken curry n rice, n then sit down on the internet :o) (just like now)

now its anybody's guess which kind of day was today :o)

adios

Gunda : See it, find God

I was lost. I was wandering in the maze of life, not really knowing wat is it that I want. I was just living my life away, having no idea what the supreme truth is. Till the moment of truth came. There was a ray of light at the end of the tunnel, and I saw God.

Yes. God himself had appeared on earth, to end all evil and make this world a better place to live in. And then the stars started to shine. My towels out here hardly dry. I have tried all kinds of cigs here. Sasti daru nahi peeni chahiye. Placements are just around the corner in NIT calicut. Gtalk is great.

Confused? Feel lost? Feel like cursing? Watch Mithun Da's epic movie Gunda. Its wat everyone needs. Everyone should watch it. In fact everyone must watch it. There are no two ways about it. U JUST HAVE TO WATCH IT. Like they say, neki kar aur kuye mein daal, wiase hi gunda dekh, ho jaa malamaal. Wah, I too started talking in rhymes (though it does not make sense)

Gunda is India's answer to Shakespeare's MacBeth. 2 hours of two liners, poetry at its best. And that too all embedded in an epic movie.

Without further adieu, lemme do wat God wanted me to do. Tell u about this movie. Enlighten u.

Gunda is about powerful characters with even more powerful introductions.

The bad guys:

Lambu Aata: Mera naam hai lambu aata, deunga usko maut ka chaata
Bulla: Mera naam hai bulla, rakhta hoon hamesha khulllaaaaa (bulla always ends his speech with a stretch to the last word)
Chutiya (Its not chutiya as in chutiya, its chutiya as in a ponytail which is vertical on the top of the head): Mera naam hai chutiya, acche acche ki khada karta hoon khatiya
Pote: Mera naam hai pote, jo apne baap ke bhi nahi hote
Ibu Hatela (this is the best): Mera naam hai Ibu Hatela, maa meri chudail ki beti, baap mera shaitaan ka chela. Kyu? (Pointing down there) Khayega Kela?

There is a gang war going on. Lambu aata and Bulla. Brothers are killed. Sisters are raped (In this movie, every woman is raped, right from villain's sister to hero's sister. But heroine is not raped, she is just stabbed to death).
Haan, have to tell u the dialogue which Bulla "recites" when his sister is raped and killed:
Munni? Meri behan munni?
Accha toh tu mar gayi?
Lambu ne tujhe lambaa kar diya?
Maachis ki teeli ko khambaa kar diya ??
Arre maine toh tere liye kitne ladke dekhe the ..
Jo tujhe accha lagta wahin tera pati banta ..
Magar tu toh katailaa gurdaa .. yaani ki .. murda ho gayi .. ??

Oh! forgot to mention. Pote did give an awesome dialogue on the beginning of the gang war.
Zalzala jaag utha hai. Ab laashein aise girengi jaise chote bachein ki nunni se peshaab"

Coming back to the epic blockbuster, to take revenge, Bulla and his gang corner Lambu. He offers his "sexual" services to Bulla, and also offers to become a eunuch and dance for Bulla for his life. But Bulla, simmering with anger, kills him, not because he killed his sister, but because he "raped" and killed her (He says that he understands in his business, ma n behan do get killed all the time)

Then Bulla's man Shetty kills the minister. The minister is with around 20 police officers. Shetty walks in with a knife, puts the knife on minister's neck. police go back. he stabs minister. police shocked. shetty picks up lungi and runs. police run after him. shetty runs to helicopter.

DHISHUM.
God enters. Mithun da. and delivers his gawd level dialogue.
Mai hoon jurm se nafrat karne wala. gareebo ke liye chiraag. gundon ke liye jwala.

police apprehend shetty. n this is where bad blood starts between bulla and shankar (mithun da).
Oh btw, mithun da is a coolie. no not a railway coolie. a coolie dressed as a railway coolie, who is omnipresent in the airport and also in the ship yard (anybody's guess what he tows...oh god..forgive me..i didnt mean to make fun of the great great mithun da...forgive me...thank u)

neway, now mithun da's hawaldar dad is beaten up. bulla sends a charming guy and after one song, she is married away to him, who in turn is a pimp who supplies girls (he works for another bigger pimp Lucky Chikna).
So now the napunsak Chutiya eats a super strong viagra and rapes mithun da's sister to death. mithun da sees him dispose the laash. So he vows revenge on Bulla and gang. After his father is also killed, he fixes Bulla and gang's date of death over the next 10 days with this legendary dialogue : Ek, do, chaar, che, dus. BUS.

Then Mithun da goes on a killing spree. Killings happen in diverse locations, ranging from graveyard to shipyard to public toilet n so on. I would like to mention Ibu hatela was driven into a grave with 2 shots to the head by mithun da. He just went into the ground like a nail into soft wood. n then mithun da chopped off is head :o) (its wasnt gory, it wasnt gory, it was justice)

in between, mithun da also kills lucky chikna, the big pimp, who has a brothel of beds suspended from nowhere with ropes, and everyone is "doing it" openly on those beds. So Mithun da is just executing God's will by destroying Lucky Chikna.

Oh in between, mithun da finds an infant on the road, who is "haseena ka paseena", and is Bulla's illegitimate son (Bulla killed Haseena when he knew she was pregnant...please dont ask any questions....u would be questioning mithun da)

Also, Mithun da's heroine is killed (not raped for god's sake. she is the heroine). Bulla and chutiya stab her on the road.

Then Mithun da cuts off chutiya's "organ". And chutiya dies.

In the last scene, bulla comes with an army of auto rickshaws. guns. rocket launchers. etc. But justice prevails. Bulla is terminated by God Mithun da. And then mithun da says the dialogue:
Tera naam hai bulla. Marne ke baad bhi reh jayega tera mooh khulaaa.

So justice prevails. God's tenth avtaar, Kalki avtaar, is none other than Mithun da in the form of shankar.

For God's sake (literally), u have to watch this movie.

vellagiri at its best...

Haan.
So this is a historic post. Coz I am writing it from office, where I regularly experience the “hectic I banking life” :o)
There is a lot to write. Let me just write it as curious incident(s) during the day time, and night time, and weekdays, and weekends :o)

Ok. Last week, on Tuesday I had no work the whole day. So I thought, I will leave at 6:45. I was watching the time on my system. At 6:43, there was a smile on my face. I was getting ready to leave. At 6:44, there was work on my desk :o(
Ek minute saala aadmi ki g***d maar leta hai :o)
Next day i took no chances. Left at 6:30 :o)

Last week was a very vella week. Neway, Saturday had the alum meet. Was nice. Met wimwian’s my batch who are in hong kong, and also ex wimwians who are in hong kong. Wat a coincidence. The bad part was whiskey wasn’t unlimited. The good part was sparkling wine was. Hence 8 glass ke aas paas chada li aur phir…..tera tera tera suroooooooor :o)

Sunday ko mai aur GD Stanley gaye. It’s a pretty beautiful place. Shopped in the flea market. Utilized GD’s 10x optical zoom camera to the fullest on the beach. Kleevo missed the trip. For reasons, ask him why :o)

Stanley market is the oldest market in Hong Kong. Flea market hai. I bought a sword (souvenier :o)), a small glass enclosed “flour” doll, some hand bags for mom, and also a painting. The painting shopping was interesting. GD was thinking of buying it. Then I also pitched in. The shopkeeper was a painter himself, who had quit painting or rather selling his paintings 7 yrs back. He said it was because he could not bargain with customers for his own work. And since he could not, therefore his sales was pretty less. He said, could not eat cup-o-noodles for too long (trivia: we survived on cup-o-noodles for almost 2 weeks after coming here, till we discovered chicken curry n rice @ 7 eleven, which is a convenience store). He also showed us an album with his creations and awards etc. And after all this, I bargained with him for 20 dollars :o)

Stanley beach was beautiful. Here all the beaches are beaches for bays I guess. Therefore not the India kind of beaches with waves and all. But rather like lakes. GD’s high zoom camera was aptly used to capture the beauty of a few jal paris :o). Also on the way from the bus, we could see Repulse bay with windsurfers painting the sea :o) acha tha :o)

This week, well Monday, as usual was busy with all the market updates. Tuesday also relatively busy. I had seriously important work, like making sure the formatting and alignment of text in ppts was correct to the third decimal. And also copying text from word to powerpoint. Kaafi challenging kaam hai. Seriously yaar. When I am given such work, in which I am not at all good (ask my groupies in college I never work on beautification or alignment of ppts n stuff), performance and efficiency goes down the drain.

Tuesday was also patched up on a conference call on some deals. Dopahar ka time tha. Just khaana khe ke aaya tha. 1 hour long call. I was awake for 30 mins. Was woken up by my buddy sitting next to me, also on the call, at 45 minutes, fell asleep again at 50 min :o)

Neway, yesterday ie Wednesday was totally vella. I slept 2 courses. Once in the afternoon. And once in the evening, from 4:30 odd to 6. And when I sleep, my head oscillates. And people notice.
Jo bhi notice karta hai uske m********* (the number of stars may be less than the abuses)

Before I end, I must tell u that sound can move across corners and also through creeps etc. how do I know? I can hear “grunts” of pleasure coming from one of the rooms (above, below, right or left) almost every other night. And the moment I hear them, I reduce the volume of the tv, and enjoy “vicariously” :o)
Also the other day, I could hear a couple fighting, and then the girl started crying. Actually it was nice (ok I am becoming a sadist) to hear all the abuses, and I am not sure, but the whole issue was some “intellectual” discussion (not joking). Damn!

Signing out. So now u have read a historic post. Feel free to post ur comments :o)
Adios

A breakthrough in physics

I wont take credit for postulating the CRAP CYCLE THEORY. This ground breaking (if there is a word like this), earth shattering (above disclaimer applies) theory was postulated by bhaskar seetharam aka lugaai. But then like a good friend n groupie, I take this opportunity to let the world know n benefit from this ray of light.

As all big theories, there is a lot of explanation to it, but then I will cut that short (n probably Dr. Seetharam … just gave him that title…. Will explain it himself sometime).

Now the main statement is (might sound familiar to one of newton’s laws, but then wat is wrong, after all Newton was the pitaji of physics)

CRAP CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR DESTROYED. IT JUST CHANGES FORM N REAPPEARS AND CAN BE USED AGAIN N AGAIN N AGAIN

Now some of u may argue, this aint no theory, it’s a hypothesis, there aint no empirical proof for this. But of course, my dear friends, there is.

Take a look at any of our HR assignments, or marketing assignments, or ID, IGP, OD assignments, and u will be as convinced as us. In fact like all greatest scientific discoveries, everyone of us somewhere inside knew that this theory exists. But it took the genius of Dr. Seetharam to proclaim it.

Long live the Crap cycle theory

P.S. – I myself am working on a theory. It called the INFINITE FART THEORY

It is infact a counter theory to the generally proclaimed theory that the more u fart, the lesser is ur ability or probability to fart again….coz biologists would argue that the gas in ur stomach would exit thru ur arsehole n become one of the millions n billions n trillions of molecules in the atmosphere (some farts though also find their way back to unsuspecting nostrils n cause a tremendous negative externality…if u wanna know wat that means, refer some economics text book). But biologists should know that gaseous fart is just one of the kinds of fart. Fart itself comes in many forms. N the generic form of fart, which most of us write in our “subjective” papers, is infinite. Not only that, the more u fart, the more is ur propensity n possibility to fart n continue farting. I am gathering evidence on this theory, n should publish it in a journal soon. SO please hold ur applause till then.

Template tinkering

As u might have noticed, my blog's look has changed (ok ok please hold the applause, i am but an ordinary man n this great work of art is just a coincidence :o)).

But my tinkering has left my contact list on my blog all screwed up. So dear friends, thoda intezaar aur before my blog is back to its orginal form "content" wise.

Till then, u can appreciate this new look :o)