Cold

Am i a cold person? Am i a VERY cold person?
I dunno, but I guess at most times for most people I do come across as that.

Inside, I am sea of emotions. If I like someone, I would ignore that person's shortcomings and support that person come wat may. If I dislike a person, its very difficult for me to be objective bout that person. I have come a long way in being non judgemental but being objective is something I still have to work on.

But somehow, I feel "indifferent" to many supposingly "moving" situations, moments. I get my degree, everyone around is so so happy, I am also smiling n all, but then I dont feel the "joy" which the others seem to be feeling.
My friends leave the insti, they and the others seem so senti, but I dont feel...anything. I am being blunt, but right now I am not feeling anything.

An e-friend talks bout all kinds of life problems, and I cant even place them in my mind for a minute. A friend tells me another friend had a near death experience, and the incident registers in my mind for moment n then leaves. Its just not there anymore.

But I am also the same person, who would take pains of "making" cards for people he wants to gift a smile on their bdays. I am also the same person, who no matter how aloof he seems, would take some very very very hard decisions, seemingly unnecessary, n very painful, for the happiness of those people whom he loves the most.

Who am I? Dont worry, if u know me, u dont have to worry of how u would find me when me meet me on two different occasions. I would be quite similar on both, smiling, jovial etc. But wat lies beneath...
During one of our courses called ERI ie Explorations in Roles n Identity, one facilitator said, we should not wear any masks in our life because there comes a point, when the mask becomes us n we the masks, and one cant differentiate between the two...
Have i reached such a point...is it good or is it bad or is it just wat was meant to be...I dont know..