The consultant diaries - Introduction
Scene 1: IMS Bangalore Classes
Instructor asks class: What do u think is a consultant?
Class: blah blah blah blah
Instructor (some kandu guy with a goatee n an accented english)...which is conceited smile on his face...showing i am gonna tell u something u couldnt have ever thought of: A consultant, is a person, who is gonna take UR watch, and tell u the time .... (pause).....(pause)....(atal bihari vajpayee pause)....However, he is also gonna tell u, that u can use the watch as an alarm, as a stop clock, as..blah blah blah...
One student, like most of the others, sitting on the second bench, is quite interested, but by nightfall, loses interest :o)
Scene 2: IIM Interviews
Interviewer(s): So tell me, why do u want to do an MBA?
Interviewee: I beleive i will be better suited to solve business problems. Problems with need a strategic thinking, problems which involve dealing with people...blah blah blah blah
Scene 3: IIM Ahmedabad Finals Day 0 Consult Interviews
Interviewer: So why do u want to be a consultant
Interviewee: Oh, its strategy, its travelling, its people, its helping organizations, its variety, its seeing what u work on actually getting realized...blah blah blah blah (this answer was much more grammatically verbose but then the content was this...)
Scene 4: I am a consultant :o)
Its been just 2 weeks....actually 1 week...since the first week was training in Goa.
How has it been?
I will talk bout the project.
But first i need to tell u why, i think, i didnt like banking.
I didnt like the idea of slogging my ass off for money...
i didnt like the idea of working on formating ppts n excels
i didnt like the idea of working on raising debt or structuring deals, till i get my first heart attack n quit work
i didnt like the idea of working at te same place always
n so many things...which i myself havent been able to identify
in my first week, its been pretty cool...
on an average, around 11 to 12 hours of work a day....
n tht too i am getting up to speed, to not much load
but then, if u see just content wise, it has formatting xls, compiling xls n all that stuff
but i am loving it still
why....i have travelled thousands of miles in the first 2 weeks alone
why...i have been in client meetings right from day one of the project
why...i like the people whom i am working with
why...i like the idea of dining around at nice places n living in a 5 star hotel...n within all this lavishness, maintain my physique...(uska alag reason hai :D)
why...i like the very feeling that what i am doing is actually gonna make a significant impact
n add to that, next weekend i am flying back to india, business class :D
he he...acha hai :o)
Instructor asks class: What do u think is a consultant?
Class: blah blah blah blah
Instructor (some kandu guy with a goatee n an accented english)...which is conceited smile on his face...showing i am gonna tell u something u couldnt have ever thought of: A consultant, is a person, who is gonna take UR watch, and tell u the time .... (pause).....(pause)....(atal bihari vajpayee pause)....However, he is also gonna tell u, that u can use the watch as an alarm, as a stop clock, as..blah blah blah...
One student, like most of the others, sitting on the second bench, is quite interested, but by nightfall, loses interest :o)
Scene 2: IIM Interviews
Interviewer(s): So tell me, why do u want to do an MBA?
Interviewee: I beleive i will be better suited to solve business problems. Problems with need a strategic thinking, problems which involve dealing with people...blah blah blah blah
Scene 3: IIM Ahmedabad Finals Day 0 Consult Interviews
Interviewer: So why do u want to be a consultant
Interviewee: Oh, its strategy, its travelling, its people, its helping organizations, its variety, its seeing what u work on actually getting realized...blah blah blah blah (this answer was much more grammatically verbose but then the content was this...)
Scene 4: I am a consultant :o)
Its been just 2 weeks....actually 1 week...since the first week was training in Goa.
How has it been?
I will talk bout the project.
But first i need to tell u why, i think, i didnt like banking.
I didnt like the idea of slogging my ass off for money...
i didnt like the idea of working on formating ppts n excels
i didnt like the idea of working on raising debt or structuring deals, till i get my first heart attack n quit work
i didnt like the idea of working at te same place always
n so many things...which i myself havent been able to identify
in my first week, its been pretty cool...
on an average, around 11 to 12 hours of work a day....
n tht too i am getting up to speed, to not much load
but then, if u see just content wise, it has formatting xls, compiling xls n all that stuff
but i am loving it still
why....i have travelled thousands of miles in the first 2 weeks alone
why...i have been in client meetings right from day one of the project
why...i like the people whom i am working with
why...i like the idea of dining around at nice places n living in a 5 star hotel...n within all this lavishness, maintain my physique...(uska alag reason hai :D)
why...i like the very feeling that what i am doing is actually gonna make a significant impact
n add to that, next weekend i am flying back to india, business class :D
he he...acha hai :o)
Labels: Consultant Speak
posted by Anurag at
11:03 AM
18 Comments:
The account has been opened. Request you to contribute for a worthy cause :D :D
@vinay
the funda is that...only expenses are reimbursed....that too when on project....so donating money to educate a wealthy techie does not count as expenses :P
sale tail ka daam bad gaya hai aur tum consultant log 1000 air miles log kar rahe ho.. teri toh!!!
@jake
coz our advice is worth more than the fuel price :P
you can give it on phone :p
@jake
doesnt work that way...tu nahi samjhega...techie hai na :P
wah wah wah....
mast life!
echoing Anjuli's statement
"wah wah wah"... and also "oh oh ohh"!
@anjuli
kaafi logo ko mast nahi lagta :D
but for me its too early to form that perspective :D
@sanjiv
oh oh oh ... why?
@jake: non-techies just don't get it, do they ? I guess that is what happens if you spend too much in Word, Excel and PowerPoint :P
@murthy
ah...i was waiting for the famous murthy cribs to start coming in :P
kya matlab tha iss post ka?? yahan graduation ab khatam hui hai aur tune itna experience le bhi lia!
This comment has been removed by the author.
enjoy !!
But do you still tell the time off the client's watch ?
@kandy - yes, he does. Coz he still doesn't wear a watch himself :P
And you wonder where all the money is going !
some people have all the luck...
@gunj
arre abhi to shuruwat hai...experience gathering to chalu hogi...aur woh graduation nahi thi jo khatam hua...post graduation thi :P
@kandy
i am still learning to see the client's watch :D
@murthy
i wear a watch even to the bathroom man....n the money is goin somewhere...but not finding its way to my pocket :P
@zee
oh i am sure u have a grave misunderstanding of luck :P
awesomeeee :) nice.
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